My Fifth Submissive

This true-life story chronicles my experience meeting one of my submissives who needed to find the part of himself that was missing.  Happiness.  My fifth submissive.

 

Taken from my new sub's blog called "Becoming Black Sovereign's Slave". 

As per my Master's direct orders, I'm posting a blog that details my journey to becoming his owned property and slave. This is the approved installment:

My first correspondence with my Master, Black Sovereign, was on May 16th of 2012. At the time I was an unclaimed slave and new to BMR. Like most white subs on the site, I began reaching out and networking with several of the Black Masters here. All were gracious in welcoming me to BMR and a few immediately established regular contact with me, one of them being Black Sovereign.  From our very first exchange, I felt there was something different about him. There was a calm authority to his emails, a certain “knowing” in the way he communicated with me, and something soothing but simultaneously intimidating about his tone.  The more I chatted with him, the more I wanted to chat with him. And I found myself eagerly looking forward to his next email or simple “hello” via IM.

Since I was scheduled to visit Denver (his home city) on business for a few days in June, and having been intrigued by Black Sovereign’s blog entries on BMR as well as on his own site, I decided to write and inquire about the possibility of serving him during my trip. He very generously permitted me to contact him once I arrived in town, which I promptly did. Black Sovereign designated specific nights and times when he would be available for me to kneel before him. Unfortunately, work demands prevented me from meeting with him. And although Black Sovereign was more than understanding of my situation, I left Denver sorely disappointed that I missed the opportunity to serve and with a deep sense of somehow having failed him.

Little did I know that this missed opportunity was my first step toward becoming Black Sovereign’s slave…

Black Sovereign and I continued communicating almost daily. He asked how I came to recognize Black Superiority and instructed me to detail my experiences with Black Superiors up until now.  I told him everything he wanted to know in as much detail as he required. Not only because I tend to be very forthright in general, but also because I recognized the importance of absolute transparency when communicating with a Black Master.

For me, enslavement was not merely a fantasy or a way of getting off sexually. I wasn’t on BMR to simply find “black cock”. My goal was eventually to become the owned property of a true Black Superior and everything that entailed. In my mind, it was my duty and obligation to be as open and honest as possible at ALL times with Black Sovereign. He wanted a complete list of any other Masters I was in communication with, at the time. He also wanted to know which of these Masters I was currently either in regular (daily) contact with or being trained by. There was only one – Master W. He was the first Black Superior to contact me on BMR and establish a connection with me. As it turned out, Master W and Black Sovereign already had their own communication in place and I was soon being “trained” by both of them jointly.

So I went from searching for one Master to being officially trained by two. It was more than I could have hoped for. And I quickly realized it was also more than I could handle…

You’d think that for a white slave serving two Black Masters would be a dream come true. And for a while, it was. But the fantasy of serving quickly gave way to the reality of it. Both Master W and Black Sovereign are true Black Superiors. They each have years of experience training and owning white slaves.

But each one also has his own methods, preferences, and expectations. Master W would chat/cam with me almost every day during the week, usually in the early morning or sometime before noon. Since I work from home and have a certain amount of privacy during work hours, he’d have me strip for him, show my cock, balls, and ass to him. I was never allowed to cum without Master W’s express permission, so he always wanted to check my balls to make certain they were swollen and full, not hanging low and drained. Sometimes he’d order me to edge while he watched, keeping myself on the verge of orgasm indefinitely until he told me to stop. At other times, he’d have me smack my cum-filled balls repeatedly. He’d also have me tie my cock and balls tightly each day and forbid me to wear underwear so that my bound and sensitive cock-head was always rubbing against my jeans or shorts as I walked (a constant reminder of my servitude and an equally constant frustration).

Once, as punishment, I was forbidden to cum for over three months. It was during this time that my training under Black Sovereign began.

Due to his own schedule, Black Sovereign and I chatted in the evenings. The tone of our conversations was noticeably different from those I had with Master W. While both were (and are) clearly men in control who know how to treat and guide a white slave, Black Sovereign had (and has) a calm about him that is hard to describe. Maybe it was due to my familiarity with his blog writings and involvement with BMR, but I immediately had a sense that I’d known Black Sovereign forever. I trusted him completely without hesitation. And I was open and honest with him about all aspects of my vanilla life and my experiences in submission.

Black Sovereign decided to keep me locked in chastity on a daily basis as a sign of my servitude to both him and Master W. This placed me in a constant state of bondage and rendered all control of my cock and balls to my Masters. For me, this was simultaneous bliss and torture. Like most submissives, I have a love-hate relationship with bondage of any kind. While I love the feeling of being helplessly bound and gagged, I always want out in the worst possible way. Once set free, I instantly long to be back in bondage again. Having a naturally high libido, chastity is at times almost unbearable for me. The sensation of being tightly confined is extremely erotic but being in an almost pervasive state of semi-arousal, accompanied by my body’s frequent attempts at forcing an erection, is pure torture. This new chastity schedule made my months of orgasm denial even more intense and nearly unbearable; and though I've eventually adapted to the sensation over time, the frustration of never getting erect or only occasionally having an orgasm can be overwhelming and daunting. But I endure this willingly for my Master. And I do it with pride and a deep sense of accomplishment because I know that I’m pleasing him. And that’s what matters most.

As my training progressed, it became more and more difficult to meet both Master W’s and Black Sovereign’s expectations in addition to the demands of my career and personal life. I wanted to please them both equally, to show my gratitude for their having chosen me to train and to potentially enslave. But I started to feel as if I was being pulled in two directions. My focus began to slip and I made more mistakes more frequently. Master W’s patience with me wore thin. He expressed increasing disappointment with me. His praise of “good boy”, something I’d come to rely on and cherish, was rarely ever given anymore. I became irritable and highly emotional. The sense of joy I’d had at finding not one Master but two was soon replaced by a deep sense of failure and worthlessness. Serving two Masters was becoming virtually impossible. That was now evident. What was also evident was that I would soon have to choose servitude to only ONE Master. And that was a choice I dreaded making…

Serving two Masters proved to be much more challenging (and stressful) than I ever imagined. Though Master W and Black Sovereign were training me jointly, I felt as if I was being pulled in two different directions. Worse yet, I felt as if I was failing miserably at pleasing either of my Superiors, particularly Master W. I was torn. Did I continue trying my best to make both Masters happy or commit to serving only one of them? My impending decision began to weigh very heavily on me. And for a short while, I thought it might be best not to serve either Master. In fact, I actually drafted an email saying as much. But I never sent it. Something inside told me not to. I’d made it this far and my desire to be a white slave to a true Black Superior was much too strong. Then I meditated on my situation. I thought long and hard about it. Played back the past few months over and over again in my mind.  And a realization came to me.

Shortly after starting communication with Black Sovereign, he announced that he was claiming me as his sub and potential slave. He explained that I wasn't  “officially” claimed yet. That would come later in person if I proved myself worthy. But he was claiming me online as a sign of his genuine interest in my slave potential. And this claim meant that I couldn't submit to or serve any other Black Superiors unless first approved by him. Master W held in place the same rule, but he had never moved to claim me. I was training under him without any indication that I would actually be his property some day (though he did mention possibly having me serve him in his home on occasion). With Black Sovereign, I knew my prospects. Since he’d already made a preliminary claim on me, I knew there was a chance of being more than just an online slave. But, most importantly, I knew how Black Sovereign made me feel: safe, secure, and of value to him. My connection with him felt natural and right, as if we’d always known each other.  As if I’d somehow always been his slave. And I knew that he was the Master I was meant to serve.

It was difficult notifying Master W of my decision. But afterward, I felt even more confident in my choice to continue my training under Black Sovereign. And when he announced his visit to LA in October, and told me that he wanted me to kneel before him in person, the possibility of officially being claimed as his slave suddenly seemed much more real to me. I could barely contain my excitement at meeting my Master for the first time. But that meeting was still a few months away. And I had a lot to do to get ready for his visit…

In addition to keeping me locked in daily chastity, Black Sovereign regimented me to a strict workout schedule, which was implemented as part of my training under both him and Master W. I have a naturally beefy, muscular build, but a neck/back injury a few years ago left me much more sedentary than usual. I’d put on some extra weight and lost most of my definition. Black Sovereign explained the importance of a slave looking his absolute best for his Master and, seeing my physical potential (and shades of my former physical condition), he pushed me toward that goal. I worked out hard. Six days a week. Black Sovereign’s praise and approval were my sole motivation. At his command, I sent regular progress pics to keep my Master updated on my improvement – and to learn which areas he felt needed more focus. He cast aside my initial goal of losing weight in favor of building muscle. And as my body began to change and improve, so did my self-confidence, along with my excitement at meeting my Master and undergoing his inspection.

In preparation for Black Sovereign’s arrival, I secured him a room at one of the nicest hotels in the area. Not only did I want him to be comfortable, but I also wanted the accommodations to reflect my gratitude for his deeming me worthy of consideration. I knew part of the reason for his visit was to inspect his potential property and decide whether or not he wanted to claim me as his slave.

The weeks seemed to drag on. But finally, it was the Friday before his arrival. Which meant that Sunday night I’d be kneeling before Black Sovereign in person. My excitement was overwhelming. I had to do everything in my power to distract myself and keep busy with other responsibilities. When I received his text notifying me that he’d arrived at the hotel and was “very pleased” with my choice, I couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the day. After months of training and dedication, the moment was finally here. I’d been convinced that when I missed the opportunity to serve Black Sovereign in Denver I’d most likely never get another one. Now that I had that second opportunity, I wasn’t going to let anything keep me from it.

Sunday night I arrived at Black Sovereign’s room precisely on time and as instructed. Under my jeans, my cock and balls were confined tightly in steel chastity. As per my Master’s specifications, I wore only a jockstrap to cover my imprisoned cock and leave my ass exposed for his appraisal. To my surprise, when I knocked on the door, one of Black Sovereign’s other slaves answered. I knew he’d be traveling with Black Sovereign but had no idea he’d be in the room when I first met my Master. This threw me off balance a bit, which may have been the intention. I entered and saw Black Sovereign working on his laptop. He gave me a perfunctory glance, told me to enter, then went back to work. I stood patiently waiting for him to finish, trying not to seem too nervous as I did. I was determined to consciously experience very single second of this moment and not have it clouded by anxiety of any kind. I didn’t need to worry. Somehow, just seeing Black Sovereign in the flesh made me feel incredibly calm and safe. I felt “at home”.  And that feeling told me everything I needed to know.

Black Sovereign dismissed his slave so that he and I could be alone. He had me kneel before him. As I kneeled, he instructed me on the protocol of the evening. What would happen and what was expected of me. I responded with a respectful “Yes, SIR” to each question and command. There was a soothing yet forceful tone to his voice. He spoke at a steady pace, with confidence and intent. His presence filled the entire room and I felt humbled by it.

I was instructed to kiss Black Sovereign’s feet and did. He told me this was expected whenever I first entered his presence and before I departed. Then he had me strip down to my jockstrap and stand still for inspection. He grabbed my cock and balls to make certain they were locked in chastity as instructed. A smile crept onto his face. Then he circled me, inspecting my pecs, arms, legs, back, and ass. He gave each ass cheek an approving pat with his hand and said “Nice. It’s gotten much rounder since the last pics you sent me.” He said this with a smile. I smiled in reply.  I was happy he was pleased with my progress. I wanted to look my best for him. He made me feel like I did.

Black Sovereign then stood in front of me, locked his eyes on mine, and simply stared straight into them. He didn’t blink. His focus didn’t waver. He was looking directly into me, making an inner connection, getting inside my mind. I could feel that gaze pierce deeper and deeper, taking hold, gripping me. Then he reached out and took my nipples between the fingers of both his hands. He squeezed them harder and harder until I started to squirm from the pain. “Don’t move,” he said. “Stand perfectly still.” I did as I was told. It wasn’t easy. I have large nips and they’re extremely sensitive. The pain became almost unbearable when he finally released my nipples with a smile. “You did well, slave.” I smiled and thanked him.

Next, Black Sovereign had me remove my jockstrap. He inspected my locked cock and swollen balls. I hadn’t been allowed to cum for six weeks leading up to this moment. I was horny as hell and my dick fought desperately to get hard in its cage.  This made my Master chuckle. “I see what you mean about being frustrated,” he smiled again. This was in reference to occasional emails I had sent describing my rising frustration level at being locked in near-constant chastity. As I’ve detailed on my BMR profile, the device I wear is made of stainless steel and is VERY restrictive. Unlike the more popular plastic chastity devices, the one I’m confined in allows absolutely NO room for my cock to move or grow. I’m seven inches when fully erect. And I’m thick. The chastity cage is only three inches long and narrow. It feels as if I don’t have a dick at all most of the time, only a dull throb between my legs.

Black Sovereign smacked my swollen balls with the palm of his hand, lightly at first then increasingly harder. As with my nips, I wasn’t allowed to flinch or move away from the pain, only endure it for his pleasure.  Then Black Sovereign went to the closet and returned holding a black, leather Riding Crop. He instructed me to push my ass out so as to better feel the sting when he smacked it. I did as instructed, spreading my legs and arching my back slightly. I could feel my balls thrust back and was worried that my Master might see them as another target for his crop. But he didn’t and I’ll admit I was relieved.

After he finished using the crop, Black Sovereign sat in a nearby chair and had me once again kneel before him. He pulled his cock from his pants and placed it in front of my face. It was smooth and thick. He instructed me to take only the tip into my mouth, which I did. Understand that I’m bi but predominantly straight; and sexually I tend toward the Top side of things. I don’t generally fantasize about sucking cock or getting fucked. And my experience level with both is marginal. So having Black Sovereign’s cock in my mouth immediately made me self-conscious and worried that I wouldn’t be able to please him due to my lack of skill. But I put all of my focus on HIM – on his pleasure – on doing what I felt would make HIM feel good. And soon I was deep throating Black Sovereign’s cock down to the balls and massaging it with my throat. I could tell by his occasional moan or sigh that he was pleased. And when he placed his hand firmly against the back of my head, holding my face tight against his body, forcing his cock as far down my throat as it would go – I knew I was doing an adequate enough job.

Each time, Black Sovereign would hold my head for longer and longer stretches of time. I was gagged so completely with his cock that I could barely make a sound; and my nostrils were closed off by being forced tight against the smooth skin of his pelvis. Unable to make a sound, I struggled to breathe in silence. And only when my struggles became clearly desperate did Black Sovereign allow me to take a breath before forcing his cock back down my throat and smothering me again. This taught me quickly that I relied entirely on Black Sovereign for the very air I breathe. And it humbled me completely. Not only was I amazed at what a cocksucker I’d so easily become for him, but also at how much I truly felt like a slave. HIS slave.

Black Sovereign pulled his cock from my throat and told me to stand. He gently caressed my ass cheeks with his hand, comforting me, lulling me, before suddenly demonstrating his “bare hand” spanking technique. I did my best not to flinch as the pain intensified and my ass went from pale white to pinkish red. “There. That’s a nice color” he said with approval. “Lie face down on the bed.”

I did as I was instructed, the pressure on my imprisoned cock becoming more unbearable with the weight of my body against it. Black Sovereign spread my legs. I felt something cool and wet against my asshole, followed by Black Sovereign’s fingers moving inside me, massaging me, opening me up. I moaned into the mattress but remained perfectly still, assuming that Black Sovereign’s “no movement” rule applied here as well. Up until this moment, I’d only ever been fucked three times before in my life. The first time was a dreadful experience that put me off the whole notion of having another man’s dick in my ass. The second experience was much more pleasurable, but still nothing to write home about. The third was merely a repeat of the first. Knowing Black Sovereign was about to fuck me stirred up mixed emotions. I wanted to be claimed as his slave. Wanted it more than anything. So part of me was excited that he was actually going to fuck me and make his claim on me official. But the other part of me dreaded the experience based on my past. Yet despite my fears, I relaxed and put my focus solely on Black Sovereign and his pleasure.

I felt him climb on top of me, felt his body weight pin me down. Then the hard tip of his cock was pushed against my asshole and soon was slowly but deliberately sliding into of me, deeper and deeper. I breathed against the pain, again determined to fully experience every single moment of this. Once he was completely inside me, Black Sovereign began to fuck me. Not slowly or gently but with strength and force, ramming my ass as if he owned it, which was exactly the point.  He pinned my arms down and used his knees to spread my thighs even wider apart. I couldn’t move. All I could do was lie there and take it. I moaned impulsively and Black Sovereign put his hand over my mouth, pulling my head back toward him, gagging me as he continued to thrust into my ass harder and harder. Then he repositioned me onto my side and pushed my right leg up toward my chest. This allowed him to enter me from a different angle and fuck me even deeper and more fully. The sensation was much more intense in the position. Each thrust filled me but also broke down my defenses. I began to cry. I didn’t want to – in fact I fought against it – but still the tears came. “Slave, look at me!” commanded Black Sovereign. I did as I was told, looking over my shoulder as he continued to fuck me despite the tears. His eyes locked on mine. “Breathe. You’re doing fine – just breathe.” “Yes, SIR” I whimpered. But the emotion couldn’t be contained. It broke out of me in a flood. And as I wept, and apologized repeatedly for weeping, Black Sovereign continued to fuck me until he was satisfied and his own pleasure was achieved.

After he was satisfied, Black Sovereign took me in his arms and held me. He pulled my head close against his chest and gently kissed me on the forehead. A new wave of emotion erupted in me and my Master held me in his arms until it had passed. We discussed what had just happened and I expressed my disappointment in not being able to endure being fucked without breaking. Black Sovereign explained that my emotions were natural. They represented a release – a letting go – and an acceptance of my complete and utter submission to him as my Master. I told him I wanted to try it again. He seemed surprised but pleased. “Are you sure?” he asked with genuine concern. I told him that I was. I wanted the experience to be solely about his pleasure unclouded or interrupted by my emotions. It was important to me that I be able to receive him completely and without hesitation or any focus on my own pain or pleasure.

Black Sovereign released me from his arms and had me lie face down on the bed again. I felt his fingers inside me as he applied more lube to my now tender asshole. And when he entered me again, and fucked me just as strongly and aggressively as he had the first time, I kept ALL of my focus on pleasing him and took every thrust without shedding a single tear. I took this second fucking like the slave that I am. Like the slave Black Sovereign knew I could be when he took me under consideration all those months before. Like the slave he taught me to be and continues teaching me to be. His slave. Black Sovereign’s slave.

After claiming me officially, Black Sovereign asked me what I was thinking. I told him “nothing”. And this was true. There was no conceivable way on earth that I could rationally process what had just happened. The physical, psychological, and emotional impact of his “claim” on me left me stunned and speechless. I needed time to reflect and process the experience. My Master understood this. He knew exactly where I was internally. He dismissed me and told me he’d see me the next day. He also told me to be prepared to share my thoughts since he was giving me time to meditate on my claiming.

The next day, I met with Black Sovereign. I knew I was supposed to kiss his feet upon kneeling before him, but he was working and his shoes were still on. I was uncertain what to do. Interrupt his work? Kiss his shoes when I’d kissed his bare feet the night before? When he faced me, he asked: “What did I tell you last night? What was the first thing you were supposed to do?” And I knew in that moment that I’d made a mistake. I should have kissed his feet immediately, regardless of whether or not he was working or had on his shoes. I kissed his feet at once then apologized and explained my flawed thinking. He accepted my apology but said that next time he wouldn’t be as understanding. Then we discussed the previous night’s experience. I told him how being claimed had made me feel vulnerable in a way I never had before, not just physically but emotionally; and how being fucked by him was one of the single most intense and amazing experiences of my life.

One of the many incredible things about Black Sovereign is that he almost always knows what you’re about to say before you say it. He has a “knowing” about him. Most of my “revelations” about being Alpha in my daily/vanilla life and needing to sacrifice total control to a dominant Superior were already commonplace knowledge to him. My Master knew me better than I knew myself when it came to my deep-rooted desire to submit and serve. Most of my life I’ve been the “rock” for family and friends. What I realized most was that in submitting completely to Black Sovereign as his slave, HE became my rock. My foundation. My strength. It was a liberating realization. My Master only ever wants what is best for me and for me to be my best possible self, not just as his slave but also as a person. By striving constantly to please him, I’m constantly improving myself: physically, psychologically, and emotionally. When Black Sovereign “entered” me so forcefully during my claiming, it was more than just “getting fucked”. He entered me on all levels, became a part of me, a force inside me.

Words can’t express the depth of my gratitude for the transformation Black Sovereign has brought about in me. I’m a better person for being his slave. It’s a gift he gives me every day through his guidance and wisdom. In return, I honor his gift by striving my best to do the one and only thing he requires from me: make him happy. Because his happiness is my happiness.

And that's just how it should be.

True Freedom

Many of you, who identify with being submissive, are just beginning on your journey or on the verge of discovering that journey.

Everyone knows who they are deep inside.

Whether you discover who you are early or later in life, once you find yourself... do not let anything get in the way of finding your place. Whether that is at the feet of a Dominant/Master as his slave, boi, servant, bitch, whore, sissy, or alpha.

Any role you end up taking will only be second to knowing you are exactly where you need to be.  True freedom is knowing who you are and embracing it... completely.

Yet another reason America made the CORRECT choice.

10-year-old with same-sex parents finds pen pal in President Obama – CNN Political Ticker - CNN.com Blogs.

Random Reflections 112112

The Twist Party

GayTube Presents The Twist Party.

I never thought an x-rated animation could ever give me a hard on.  This one was off the charts HOT!  I need to contact the producer, Animan to see about doing a Lifestyle-themed custom video.

BSN | Facebook

Formerly known as Alternative Lifestyle Basics in 2011,  this new Facebook page was initially meant as an informational community for people on the service who identified with the M/s or D/s culture.  I created this page to build connections as well as to provide a place of discovery for countless others who are seeking a haven to express themselves.  Facebook users can LIKE the page in order to stay updated on all postings made from my personal site.

[infopane color="6" icon="0182.png"]Facebook is an online social networking service. Its name stems from the colloquial name for the book given to students at the start of the academic year by some American university administrations to help students get to know each other. Facebook was founded in February 2004 by Mark Zuckerberg with his college roommates and fellow Harvard University students Eduardo Saverin, Andrew McCollum, Dustin Moskovitz and Chris Hughes. The website's membership was initially limited by the founders to Harvard students, but was expanded to other colleges in the Boston area, the Ivy League, and Stanford University. It gradually added support for students at various other universities before opening to high school students, and eventually to anyone aged 13 and over. Facebook now allows any users who declare themselves to be at least 13 years old to become registered users of the site.[/infopane]


[biginfopane textcolor="#ffffff" title="The Black Sovereign Network" href="http://www.facebook.com/LifestyleBasics" button_title="Black Sovereign Network on Facebook" full_width="true"]Formerly known as Alternative Lifestyle Basics, this page was created to reach out to members of the Facebook community. Following this page will gain access to my postings via Facebook.[/biginfopane]

Obama Tears Up While Addressing Campaign Staff

Who says showing emotion is a sign of weakness? Here's the most powerful man in the free world showing us the depth of his humanity when focusing on not his future as President but of his campaign personnel whom he cares for deeply. The sign of a great man is one who puts his own personal convictions aside in favor of wanting others to succeed in their own lives.

Obama Tears Up While Addressing Campaign Staff

2012 Election Results

2012 Presidential Election

Barack Obama (D)
303 Electoral Votes
60,652,149 Popular Votes

Mitt Romney (R)
206 Electoral Votes
57,810,390 Popular Votes

America has spoken. This country wants to move FORWARD.

2012 Election Results Map by State - Live Voting Updates - POLITICO.com.