This true-life story chronicles my experience meeting one of my submissives who will be celebrating his 10 year anniversary in 2015. My fourth submissive.
Someone asked me recently how I felt about older slaves. When I said I had no problem with age as long as they were well-kept and secure in their personal lives, he seemed surprised. So I explained my view on the subject...
Getting older is basically.... inevitable. But does that mean that becoming a sub or slave has a shelf life? The answer to that is no. If the desire to serve and please is still there then one can still be a good submissive for their Dominant.
I have seen the subtle discrimination in our Lifestyle against older submissives. Even I used to have an age limit that I would not consider crossing. We all know what we find attractive and what we don't.
Until I met my slave of almost 10 years, Dave.
When we met in 2005, I was considering leaving the Lifestyle as a Dom. I had just turned 30 and he was in his mid 50's. Still a very handsome man who worked out regularly, I noted that he didn't act like someone who was of a "certain age". He worked hard to convince me to give him a chance playing on the fact that it would be reverse discrimination to not have an open mind.
Yes, he went there. But he was determined and I took notice. So, I put that boi through the wringer to get him to give up.
I was living in Michigan at the time and was going on vacation in the U.P (Upper Peninsula) staying at one of my local sub's Bed and Breakfast near Mackinaw City. I took that opportunity to have him visit me for a week by flying into Detroit Metro Airport, renting a car and driving nearly 5 hours up to Mackinaw City just to pick me up and drive me all the way back down to Ann Arbor.
And he did it.
I was surprised as hell when I got his phone call telling me he had landed and the near hourly reports of his progress while driving up. What made this so incredible for me is the fact that he was essentially straight, never submitted or served another man and other than email and a few phone conversations, had only been communicating for less than 2 months.
What I didn't know beforehand was that he had been following me online since 1997 when he came across an old Yahoo GeoCities homepage I had created. My moniker, Black Sovereign wasn't created until 2000 but he ended up finding me again and learning that I was a Dom. After reading how open I was about what I was looking for, my words inspired him to take a chance and approach me.
Sounds like a Lifetime movie, doesn't it? LOL
My point here is that even though he was/is 25 years my senior, what has impressed me the most is his determination to be the best possible slave for me. He knew what he wanted and fought hard to get it. That above all else is what will get my attention... every time. Because you know, as a Dom, that kind of sub will always have your back.
It hasn't always been perfect (and I never expected it to be).
Keeping it real is a motto I live by daily and our relationship was no different. I helped him plan his retirement. Because of the fitness routine I keep him on, being in excellent physical shape saved his life when he suffered a heart attack a couple years ago at age 62.
He still thanks me for that as he knows without the motivation I give, he wouldn't have kept himself in as good of shape.
Health issues are unavoidable but they can be managed. Just be smart about it and plan for the worst, even if it never comes. That way you can spend more of your time on the things that do matter... getting served, and serving.
My word of advice to all the older submissives out there who want to serve... take care of you first. Find balance in your life. If you are not already doing so, start exercising regularly. There is no better anti-aging method than working out to keep your body fit and working as it should. If not for the sake of looking your best... then do it to feel your best.
You're only as old as you feel.
Showing posts with label Black Sovereign. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Black Sovereign. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Footprints In The Sand (1.10.14)
Celebrating 40 years. I could think of no better way to spend part of it than on the beach. Quiet moments like that always brings life into perspective for me. No matter what we do or where we go... we always leave an impression.
Saturday, January 11, 2014
What I Look For In A Submissive
What I look for in a submissive...
In order to learn, you must listen...
All of my life, I have known I was different. I looked at life differently. Relationships differently. The little intricacies that make a person who they are stand out for me... while flying right over everyone else's head. I would often wonder why I never felt the conventional idea of marriage and kids never clicked with me. The American dream is one made of up misconceptions about what will make you happy with your life. I knew this at age 18.
As a kid, I used to fantasize about being a king and would pretend to go through life with servants who would attend to my every desire and whim. When opening a door, I would imagine someone opening it for me. If I was eating, I'd imagine having an attendant cut up my food and refill my drink. And when I was in bed... I'd imagine having my feet massaged and kissed. My shoulders and back massaged... basically having every creature comfort covered.
I wouldn't have to ask or want for anything, it was offered as if they knew me and what I wanted... needed. Their focused attention on me provided me with a sense of power and happiness. I enjoyed being the center of attention and knowing that seeing I was happy made them happy. Of course, reality would always set in and I would have to step back into it and navigate the myriad of emotional dysfunction that was... everyone else. With the occasional exception.
"Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements... even if it leads nowhere?" - Adele
I like that verse from the song, Chasing Pavements. When I heard it for the first time, I found immediate kinship. It relates to my search for love on a level that I feel I deserve. I have been a source of comfort and advice to many different people throughout my life including those in the Lifestyle. I don't mind that role as it is a positive influence that can change lives. I always feel I play a small role as the only thing I do is steer people onto the path I see would be the best route to go. I do understand that not everyone can see that for themselves.
The Lifestyle allows me to define any relationship I make on my terms. My slave, partner is one who can match with those terms. Whether naturally (preferred) or by learning to conform. It is rare when you meet someone who shares so many of your own interests and likes. More times than not, they are either already in a relationship or only destined to be in your life for a short period of time.
I have had successful relationships in the past but I feel I was too young to really appreciate them... which is why they ended. It was usually me who ended them. Having 20 years of my adult life behind me, I know what I need now. In the past, I only knew what I wanted. The thing with getting what you want is... it's empty once accomplished. When you finally get what you need, it is a unique experience where you feel a wide array of emotions. Heart pounding excitement, daydreams about what life would be like with that person, and constant thoughts about that person and how they make you feel.
I have always been independent and the "strong one" for everyone else. Too often, I yearn to have someone take care of me for once. I fall victim to the idea that as a Master, I don't need emotional support. I can provide it for myself. If that was true then psychiatrists and counselors would be out business. Sometimes, the Master needs to take a break or vacation from that role. We are, after all, human.
I look for a submissive who can appeal to me physically as well as emotionally. I strongly believe that together it forms a bond early as there is nothing you have to wait for such as transforming ones body. If the attraction is there in the beginning... it's all uphill from there and in a good way.
I look for a submissive who wants to get to know me. Following orders is what a slave is supposed to do. But seeking to get to know me is something I cannot order.. it has to be something the sub wants to do. It's something I wait for and usually never comes. I don't fault people for being focused on their own wants and needs. But this is why conventional relationships tend to end in breakups or divorce. Those who stay together seek to find out what their partner needs. Sounds simple but many people mistake wants for needs and there is a big difference.
I look for a submissive who strives to keep the connection alive. Once a sub enters a relationship with his Dominant, things tend to become "comfortable" where the effort to please starts to become too routine and automated. Keeping the connection alive and fresh means continuing to show appreciation for the opportunity to serve and for being accepted in the first place. Never take what you have for granted.
I look for a submissive who is open minded enough to focus more on what I find pleasurable compared to how they feel about it. Many subs don't realize that when they selflessly participate in something that they would rather not do just because they wish to please their Master... their sacrifice is noticed. More times than not, the outcome will favor both parties.
I look for a submissive who knows his place yet can easily slip into various roles depending on the situation. Even better if the sub can clearly see that the roles are not roles at all. They are simply different aspects of the same person.
I look for a sub who is the jealous type... not the psychotic, possessive type of jealousy but the constructive kind. When he recognizes I appreciate someone else that prompts him to want that appreciation for himself. And will do what he can to get it. At the same time, he knows that he is loved and valued yet still strives to be everything for his Master.
I look for a submissive who wants to be everything for me. Someone who will put me first. Who wants to put me first. Who needs to put me first. Sometimes, that kind of connection takes time to build up. Other times, it just happens. In either case, when you find a connection to someone that just feels "right"; even though you can't explain it... whatever you do, DON'T fear it, EMBRACE it.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Real Encounters | Marc
Originally titled "An Unexpected Visit"
This boy has been following me online for years but was afraid to approach me until now. He signed up for my Weekend Service program where I allow subs to visit me for a weekend under a 2-day service contract. Usually married men or those seeking to use the opportunity to have their first time experience being a sub/slave take advantage of this no-strings-attached arrangement.
He is recently divorced and claimed I had something to do with that. When I asked him to clarify, he said it was my words from prior articles that spoke to him and encouraged him to stop living a lie and starting living for himself.
Very honest answer. I was surprised and impressed. I love when a sub comes into his own, on his own like that.
His visit to Denver was unexpected as we had chatted about him coming out for a weekend in March. But he couldn't wait and took an opportunity for a layover at DIA (Denver International Airport) this past Tuesday to come meet me. Luckily for him, that layover coincided with the time that I normally get off work.
We met initially at a coffee shop close to where I work in downtown Denver. He was very easy to spot and I enjoyed the look of pure excitement on his face when our eyes locked in recognition.
He told me I looked even more handsome in person and that he felt nervous all of sudden. I smiled because this big, masculine looking guy was acting like a bashful teenager. We talked for a bit and left to return to my place.
He only had 4 hours before his connecting flight took off so I went over the expectations I set for those who serve me. I couldn't stop looking at his chest and arms through his shirt. Man that boy was big. Believe it or not, he had never had sex with a man before... only fantasized about it.
I did allow him to explore a little by having him get on his knees in front of me (what a hot picture) and rubbing his face in my crotch. He was hesitant at first but really wanted to please so got more into it. I got hard and he used his teeth to unzip me and looked up at me.
"Sir.... may I?"
His insecurity was cute.
"You've gone this far. What do you think?"
I allowed him to experience his first time sucking a man's cock. A black man's dick. The boy was really getting into it. I gave him pointers that I enjoy and he took to it like fish to water. His shirt was off by now and and I was getting even more turned on by those massive shoulders and arms.
Then I told him to stop.
He asked why.
I said that I had a creamy surprise if he didn't.
Took him a moment but then he smiled and said that he loved surprises.
Just the answer I was looking for. I grabbed his head and shoved my dick back in his mouth. His muscles tensed as I started to skull fuck him. He was moaning and making gutteral noises as I started pumping deeper into his mouth and throat. He started heaving a bit but surprised me by not letting go so I continued.
I hardly EVER cum by getting sucked but damn, that visage of this muscle boy sucking dick for the first time and struggling at it was about to put me over the edge.
I told him to look up at me. All the struggling had caused his eyes to water so they were a little red and tears were falling but he wasn't crying. The look in his eyes was pure hunger. This boy wanted his surprise and was determined to weather through anything to get it.
Our eyes locked and that was it.... I bucked hard and drove my dick deeper into his throat. He couldn't take that and his body reacted by trying to eject my dick.... I grabbed his head with both hands and held him there.
"Take it bitch! That's right, take it all!"
I was cumming. Hot damn, it was hot. Usually when I cum it's inside of a hot ass but this blew my mind. Maybe it was the visual of the mountain of muscle still kneeling in front of me that did it... whatever. All I know is that it was a great way to end a long day at work.
I looked over at the clock and realized he had an hour and 45 minutes to get back to the airport. I live about 20 minutes from there. But he would need time to return his rental and get through security.
But... before I allowed him to leave. I had to see that bubble butt I had been eyeballing all evening. He complied immediately. I will definitely be hitting that the next time he visits. He was honest in his fear about taking it up the ass but wants me to be his first.
We will be communicating on when he'll be able to formally visit for a full weekend of service.
He got back to the airport with 10 minutes to spare before boarding. When he left my place, he was all smiles. He texted me at the airport. Again when he landed. And every morning since that day.
His text this morning:
"Good morning SIR! Thank you again for allowing me to see you Tuesday. I apologize for sounding like a broken record but I can't help it! You are this combination of nice guy, Superior dominant and something else. You make me feel at home. It scared me a little when I was sitting on the plane and reran the experience through my head. I sucked cock for the first time!!! I had your cum in my mouth! You cum tasted very sweet by the way SIR. I never thought I'd say that either! Okay Sir, I will stop here as I don't want to blow up your phone with yet another long text message. You make me crazy but I like it. I haven't felt this alive in years. I want to thank you for that. Have a good day SIR. So looking forward to serving you again soon!"
I love watching new subs come into their own. All many need is that one experience to open the floodgates. Once that happens, there's no going back.
This boy has been following me online for years but was afraid to approach me until now. He signed up for my Weekend Service program where I allow subs to visit me for a weekend under a 2-day service contract. Usually married men or those seeking to use the opportunity to have their first time experience being a sub/slave take advantage of this no-strings-attached arrangement.
He is recently divorced and claimed I had something to do with that. When I asked him to clarify, he said it was my words from prior articles that spoke to him and encouraged him to stop living a lie and starting living for himself.
Very honest answer. I was surprised and impressed. I love when a sub comes into his own, on his own like that.
His visit to Denver was unexpected as we had chatted about him coming out for a weekend in March. But he couldn't wait and took an opportunity for a layover at DIA (Denver International Airport) this past Tuesday to come meet me. Luckily for him, that layover coincided with the time that I normally get off work.
We met initially at a coffee shop close to where I work in downtown Denver. He was very easy to spot and I enjoyed the look of pure excitement on his face when our eyes locked in recognition.
He told me I looked even more handsome in person and that he felt nervous all of sudden. I smiled because this big, masculine looking guy was acting like a bashful teenager. We talked for a bit and left to return to my place.
He only had 4 hours before his connecting flight took off so I went over the expectations I set for those who serve me. I couldn't stop looking at his chest and arms through his shirt. Man that boy was big. Believe it or not, he had never had sex with a man before... only fantasized about it.
I did allow him to explore a little by having him get on his knees in front of me (what a hot picture) and rubbing his face in my crotch. He was hesitant at first but really wanted to please so got more into it. I got hard and he used his teeth to unzip me and looked up at me.
"Sir.... may I?"
His insecurity was cute.
"You've gone this far. What do you think?"
I allowed him to experience his first time sucking a man's cock. A black man's dick. The boy was really getting into it. I gave him pointers that I enjoy and he took to it like fish to water. His shirt was off by now and and I was getting even more turned on by those massive shoulders and arms.
Then I told him to stop.
He asked why.
I said that I had a creamy surprise if he didn't.
Took him a moment but then he smiled and said that he loved surprises.
Just the answer I was looking for. I grabbed his head and shoved my dick back in his mouth. His muscles tensed as I started to skull fuck him. He was moaning and making gutteral noises as I started pumping deeper into his mouth and throat. He started heaving a bit but surprised me by not letting go so I continued.
I hardly EVER cum by getting sucked but damn, that visage of this muscle boy sucking dick for the first time and struggling at it was about to put me over the edge.
I told him to look up at me. All the struggling had caused his eyes to water so they were a little red and tears were falling but he wasn't crying. The look in his eyes was pure hunger. This boy wanted his surprise and was determined to weather through anything to get it.
Our eyes locked and that was it.... I bucked hard and drove my dick deeper into his throat. He couldn't take that and his body reacted by trying to eject my dick.... I grabbed his head with both hands and held him there.
"Take it bitch! That's right, take it all!"
I was cumming. Hot damn, it was hot. Usually when I cum it's inside of a hot ass but this blew my mind. Maybe it was the visual of the mountain of muscle still kneeling in front of me that did it... whatever. All I know is that it was a great way to end a long day at work.
I looked over at the clock and realized he had an hour and 45 minutes to get back to the airport. I live about 20 minutes from there. But he would need time to return his rental and get through security.
But... before I allowed him to leave. I had to see that bubble butt I had been eyeballing all evening. He complied immediately. I will definitely be hitting that the next time he visits. He was honest in his fear about taking it up the ass but wants me to be his first.
We will be communicating on when he'll be able to formally visit for a full weekend of service.
He got back to the airport with 10 minutes to spare before boarding. When he left my place, he was all smiles. He texted me at the airport. Again when he landed. And every morning since that day.
His text this morning:
"Good morning SIR! Thank you again for allowing me to see you Tuesday. I apologize for sounding like a broken record but I can't help it! You are this combination of nice guy, Superior dominant and something else. You make me feel at home. It scared me a little when I was sitting on the plane and reran the experience through my head. I sucked cock for the first time!!! I had your cum in my mouth! You cum tasted very sweet by the way SIR. I never thought I'd say that either! Okay Sir, I will stop here as I don't want to blow up your phone with yet another long text message. You make me crazy but I like it. I haven't felt this alive in years. I want to thank you for that. Have a good day SIR. So looking forward to serving you again soon!"
I love watching new subs come into their own. All many need is that one experience to open the floodgates. Once that happens, there's no going back.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Reflections on 2012
Another year has passed and it was an eventful one... especially for yours truly.
The year started with my decision to start taking the week of my birthday (1/10) off every year due to gaining another week off from my employer.
Ended up in the hospital unexpectedly which was an experience onto itself. Having never been in a hospital before (as a patient), all of the spare time forced me to reevaluate the direction my life was taking.
I had spent the previous 4 years concentrating on my career and other endeavours. Two promotions later, I am now ready to focus more on what makes me happy. Once I left the hospital, I allowed myself to reenter the Lifestyle by restarting this blog (originally created in 2011 but never did much with it) and putting myself out there again.
It didn't take long for submissives to start approaching me. I made the decision to take on 2 or 3 more subs. I already had one dedicated part timer whose been with me since 2005.
Then, I was made aware of a site devoted to Black Dominants called Black Mans Revenge (link is under Black Sovereign Network) where things really started taking shape. The site helped me find the 2 additional subs I was looking for. Plus, due to my contributions and popularity, I was asked to help run the site as an admin. This effectively solved the goal of starting my own social network.
The rest of 2012 saw many new connections made as well as travel opportunities. Hell, even almost had a chance to vacation in the U.K. (still a possibility in 2014). I had almost forgotten the limitless opportunities being a Lifestyle dominant can afford you... with the right connections.
Based on the feedback I've received from the knowledge I've shared, I re-imagined a training program I used to offer over 10 years ago. The new program will be called Black Sovereign University. Subscription based, this program will focus on helping those curious about the lifestyle to have a direct connection to a Master willing to help them understand their true nature and find ways to incorporate it with their everyday existence.
Big things can happen when you allow yourself to live the life you want.
Now it's your turn... get involved or continue existing. Fear of failure is not a valid excuse anymore.
The year started with my decision to start taking the week of my birthday (1/10) off every year due to gaining another week off from my employer.
Ended up in the hospital unexpectedly which was an experience onto itself. Having never been in a hospital before (as a patient), all of the spare time forced me to reevaluate the direction my life was taking.
I had spent the previous 4 years concentrating on my career and other endeavours. Two promotions later, I am now ready to focus more on what makes me happy. Once I left the hospital, I allowed myself to reenter the Lifestyle by restarting this blog (originally created in 2011 but never did much with it) and putting myself out there again.
It didn't take long for submissives to start approaching me. I made the decision to take on 2 or 3 more subs. I already had one dedicated part timer whose been with me since 2005.
Then, I was made aware of a site devoted to Black Dominants called Black Mans Revenge (link is under Black Sovereign Network) where things really started taking shape. The site helped me find the 2 additional subs I was looking for. Plus, due to my contributions and popularity, I was asked to help run the site as an admin. This effectively solved the goal of starting my own social network.
The rest of 2012 saw many new connections made as well as travel opportunities. Hell, even almost had a chance to vacation in the U.K. (still a possibility in 2014). I had almost forgotten the limitless opportunities being a Lifestyle dominant can afford you... with the right connections.
Based on the feedback I've received from the knowledge I've shared, I re-imagined a training program I used to offer over 10 years ago. The new program will be called Black Sovereign University. Subscription based, this program will focus on helping those curious about the lifestyle to have a direct connection to a Master willing to help them understand their true nature and find ways to incorporate it with their everyday existence.
Big things can happen when you allow yourself to live the life you want.
Now it's your turn... get involved or continue existing. Fear of failure is not a valid excuse anymore.
Friday, November 30, 2012
My Fifth Submissive
This true-life story chronicles my experience meeting one of my submissives who needed to find the part of himself that was missing. Happiness. My fifth submissive.
Taken from my new sub's blog called "Becoming Black Sovereign's Slave".
As per my Master's direct orders, I'm posting a blog that details my journey to becoming his owned property and slave. This is the approved installment:
My first correspondence with my Master, Black Sovereign, was on May 16th of 2012. At the time I was an unclaimed slave and new to BMR. Like most white subs on the site, I began reaching out and networking with several of the Black Masters here. All were gracious in welcoming me to BMR and a few immediately established regular contact with me, one of them being Black Sovereign. From our very first exchange, I felt there was something different about him. There was a calm authority to his emails, a certain “knowing” in the way he communicated with me, and something soothing but simultaneously intimidating about his tone. The more I chatted with him, the more I wanted to chat with him. And I found myself eagerly looking forward to his next email or simple “hello” via IM.
Since I was scheduled to visit Denver (his home city) on business for a few days in June, and having been intrigued by Black Sovereign’s blog entries on BMR as well as on his own site, I decided to write and inquire about the possibility of serving him during my trip. He very generously permitted me to contact him once I arrived in town, which I promptly did. Black Sovereign designated specific nights and times when he would be available for me to kneel before him. Unfortunately, work demands prevented me from meeting with him. And although Black Sovereign was more than understanding of my situation, I left Denver sorely disappointed that I missed the opportunity to serve and with a deep sense of somehow having failed him.
Little did I know that this missed opportunity was my first step toward becoming Black Sovereign’s slave…
Black Sovereign and I continued communicating almost daily. He asked how I came to recognize Black Superiority and instructed me to detail my experiences with Black Superiors up until now. I told him everything he wanted to know in as much detail as he required. Not only because I tend to be very forthright in general, but also because I recognized the importance of absolute transparency when communicating with a Black Master.
For me, enslavement was not merely a fantasy or a way of getting off sexually. I wasn’t on BMR to simply find “black cock”. My goal was eventually to become the owned property of a true Black Superior and everything that entailed. In my mind, it was my duty and obligation to be as open and honest as possible at ALL times with Black Sovereign. He wanted a complete list of any other Masters I was in communication with, at the time. He also wanted to know which of these Masters I was currently either in regular (daily) contact with or being trained by. There was only one – Master W. He was the first Black Superior to contact me on BMR and establish a connection with me. As it turned out, Master W and Black Sovereign already had their own communication in place and I was soon being “trained” by both of them jointly.
So I went from searching for one Master to being officially trained by two. It was more than I could have hoped for. And I quickly realized it was also more than I could handle…
You’d think that for a white slave serving two Black Masters would be a dream come true. And for a while, it was. But the fantasy of serving quickly gave way to the reality of it. Both Master W and Black Sovereign are true Black Superiors. They each have years of experience training and owning white slaves.
But each one also has his own methods, preferences, and expectations. Master W would chat/cam with me almost every day during the week, usually in the early morning or sometime before noon. Since I work from home and have a certain amount of privacy during work hours, he’d have me strip for him, show my cock, balls, and ass to him. I was never allowed to cum without Master W’s express permission, so he always wanted to check my balls to make certain they were swollen and full, not hanging low and drained. Sometimes he’d order me to edge while he watched, keeping myself on the verge of orgasm indefinitely until he told me to stop. At other times, he’d have me smack my cum-filled balls repeatedly. He’d also have me tie my cock and balls tightly each day and forbid me to wear underwear so that my bound and sensitive cock-head was always rubbing against my jeans or shorts as I walked (a constant reminder of my servitude and an equally constant frustration).
Once, as punishment, I was forbidden to cum for over three months. It was during this time that my training under Black Sovereign began.
Due to his own schedule, Black Sovereign and I chatted in the evenings. The tone of our conversations was noticeably different from those I had with Master W. While both were (and are) clearly men in control who know how to treat and guide a white slave, Black Sovereign had (and has) a calm about him that is hard to describe. Maybe it was due to my familiarity with his blog writings and involvement with BMR, but I immediately had a sense that I’d known Black Sovereign forever. I trusted him completely without hesitation. And I was open and honest with him about all aspects of my vanilla life and my experiences in submission.
Black Sovereign decided to keep me locked in chastity on a daily basis as a sign of my servitude to both him and Master W. This placed me in a constant state of bondage and rendered all control of my cock and balls to my Masters. For me, this was simultaneous bliss and torture. Like most submissives, I have a love-hate relationship with bondage of any kind. While I love the feeling of being helplessly bound and gagged, I always want out in the worst possible way. Once set free, I instantly long to be back in bondage again. Having a naturally high libido, chastity is at times almost unbearable for me. The sensation of being tightly confined is extremely erotic but being in an almost pervasive state of semi-arousal, accompanied by my body’s frequent attempts at forcing an erection, is pure torture. This new chastity schedule made my months of orgasm denial even more intense and nearly unbearable; and though I've eventually adapted to the sensation over time, the frustration of never getting erect or only occasionally having an orgasm can be overwhelming and daunting. But I endure this willingly for my Master. And I do it with pride and a deep sense of accomplishment because I know that I’m pleasing him. And that’s what matters most.
As my training progressed, it became more and more difficult to meet both Master W’s and Black Sovereign’s expectations in addition to the demands of my career and personal life. I wanted to please them both equally, to show my gratitude for their having chosen me to train and to potentially enslave. But I started to feel as if I was being pulled in two directions. My focus began to slip and I made more mistakes more frequently. Master W’s patience with me wore thin. He expressed increasing disappointment with me. His praise of “good boy”, something I’d come to rely on and cherish, was rarely ever given anymore. I became irritable and highly emotional. The sense of joy I’d had at finding not one Master but two was soon replaced by a deep sense of failure and worthlessness. Serving two Masters was becoming virtually impossible. That was now evident. What was also evident was that I would soon have to choose servitude to only ONE Master. And that was a choice I dreaded making…
Serving two Masters proved to be much more challenging (and stressful) than I ever imagined. Though Master W and Black Sovereign were training me jointly, I felt as if I was being pulled in two different directions. Worse yet, I felt as if I was failing miserably at pleasing either of my Superiors, particularly Master W. I was torn. Did I continue trying my best to make both Masters happy or commit to serving only one of them? My impending decision began to weigh very heavily on me. And for a short while, I thought it might be best not to serve either Master. In fact, I actually drafted an email saying as much. But I never sent it. Something inside told me not to. I’d made it this far and my desire to be a white slave to a true Black Superior was much too strong. Then I meditated on my situation. I thought long and hard about it. Played back the past few months over and over again in my mind. And a realization came to me.
Shortly after starting communication with Black Sovereign, he announced that he was claiming me as his sub and potential slave. He explained that I wasn't “officially” claimed yet. That would come later in person if I proved myself worthy. But he was claiming me online as a sign of his genuine interest in my slave potential. And this claim meant that I couldn't submit to or serve any other Black Superiors unless first approved by him. Master W held in place the same rule, but he had never moved to claim me. I was training under him without any indication that I would actually be his property some day (though he did mention possibly having me serve him in his home on occasion). With Black Sovereign, I knew my prospects. Since he’d already made a preliminary claim on me, I knew there was a chance of being more than just an online slave. But, most importantly, I knew how Black Sovereign made me feel: safe, secure, and of value to him. My connection with him felt natural and right, as if we’d always known each other. As if I’d somehow always been his slave. And I knew that he was the Master I was meant to serve.
It was difficult notifying Master W of my decision. But afterward, I felt even more confident in my choice to continue my training under Black Sovereign. And when he announced his visit to LA in October, and told me that he wanted me to kneel before him in person, the possibility of officially being claimed as his slave suddenly seemed much more real to me. I could barely contain my excitement at meeting my Master for the first time. But that meeting was still a few months away. And I had a lot to do to get ready for his visit…
In addition to keeping me locked in daily chastity, Black Sovereign regimented me to a strict workout schedule, which was implemented as part of my training under both him and Master W. I have a naturally beefy, muscular build, but a neck/back injury a few years ago left me much more sedentary than usual. I’d put on some extra weight and lost most of my definition. Black Sovereign explained the importance of a slave looking his absolute best for his Master and, seeing my physical potential (and shades of my former physical condition), he pushed me toward that goal. I worked out hard. Six days a week. Black Sovereign’s praise and approval were my sole motivation. At his command, I sent regular progress pics to keep my Master updated on my improvement – and to learn which areas he felt needed more focus. He cast aside my initial goal of losing weight in favor of building muscle. And as my body began to change and improve, so did my self-confidence, along with my excitement at meeting my Master and undergoing his inspection.
In preparation for Black Sovereign’s arrival, I secured him a room at one of the nicest hotels in the area. Not only did I want him to be comfortable, but I also wanted the accommodations to reflect my gratitude for his deeming me worthy of consideration. I knew part of the reason for his visit was to inspect his potential property and decide whether or not he wanted to claim me as his slave.
The weeks seemed to drag on. But finally, it was the Friday before his arrival. Which meant that Sunday night I’d be kneeling before Black Sovereign in person. My excitement was overwhelming. I had to do everything in my power to distract myself and keep busy with other responsibilities. When I received his text notifying me that he’d arrived at the hotel and was “very pleased” with my choice, I couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the day. After months of training and dedication, the moment was finally here. I’d been convinced that when I missed the opportunity to serve Black Sovereign in Denver I’d most likely never get another one. Now that I had that second opportunity, I wasn’t going to let anything keep me from it.
Sunday night I arrived at Black Sovereign’s room precisely on time and as instructed. Under my jeans, my cock and balls were confined tightly in steel chastity. As per my Master’s specifications, I wore only a jockstrap to cover my imprisoned cock and leave my ass exposed for his appraisal. To my surprise, when I knocked on the door, one of Black Sovereign’s other slaves answered. I knew he’d be traveling with Black Sovereign but had no idea he’d be in the room when I first met my Master. This threw me off balance a bit, which may have been the intention. I entered and saw Black Sovereign working on his laptop. He gave me a perfunctory glance, told me to enter, then went back to work. I stood patiently waiting for him to finish, trying not to seem too nervous as I did. I was determined to consciously experience very single second of this moment and not have it clouded by anxiety of any kind. I didn’t need to worry. Somehow, just seeing Black Sovereign in the flesh made me feel incredibly calm and safe. I felt “at home”. And that feeling told me everything I needed to know.
Black Sovereign dismissed his slave so that he and I could be alone. He had me kneel before him. As I kneeled, he instructed me on the protocol of the evening. What would happen and what was expected of me. I responded with a respectful “Yes, SIR” to each question and command. There was a soothing yet forceful tone to his voice. He spoke at a steady pace, with confidence and intent. His presence filled the entire room and I felt humbled by it.
I was instructed to kiss Black Sovereign’s feet and did. He told me this was expected whenever I first entered his presence and before I departed. Then he had me strip down to my jockstrap and stand still for inspection. He grabbed my cock and balls to make certain they were locked in chastity as instructed. A smile crept onto his face. Then he circled me, inspecting my pecs, arms, legs, back, and ass. He gave each ass cheek an approving pat with his hand and said “Nice. It’s gotten much rounder since the last pics you sent me.” He said this with a smile. I smiled in reply. I was happy he was pleased with my progress. I wanted to look my best for him. He made me feel like I did.
Black Sovereign then stood in front of me, locked his eyes on mine, and simply stared straight into them. He didn’t blink. His focus didn’t waver. He was looking directly into me, making an inner connection, getting inside my mind. I could feel that gaze pierce deeper and deeper, taking hold, gripping me. Then he reached out and took my nipples between the fingers of both his hands. He squeezed them harder and harder until I started to squirm from the pain. “Don’t move,” he said. “Stand perfectly still.” I did as I was told. It wasn’t easy. I have large nips and they’re extremely sensitive. The pain became almost unbearable when he finally released my nipples with a smile. “You did well, slave.” I smiled and thanked him.
Next, Black Sovereign had me remove my jockstrap. He inspected my locked cock and swollen balls. I hadn’t been allowed to cum for six weeks leading up to this moment. I was horny as hell and my dick fought desperately to get hard in its cage. This made my Master chuckle. “I see what you mean about being frustrated,” he smiled again. This was in reference to occasional emails I had sent describing my rising frustration level at being locked in near-constant chastity. As I’ve detailed on my BMR profile, the device I wear is made of stainless steel and is VERY restrictive. Unlike the more popular plastic chastity devices, the one I’m confined in allows absolutely NO room for my cock to move or grow. I’m seven inches when fully erect. And I’m thick. The chastity cage is only three inches long and narrow. It feels as if I don’t have a dick at all most of the time, only a dull throb between my legs.
Black Sovereign smacked my swollen balls with the palm of his hand, lightly at first then increasingly harder. As with my nips, I wasn’t allowed to flinch or move away from the pain, only endure it for his pleasure. Then Black Sovereign went to the closet and returned holding a black, leather Riding Crop. He instructed me to push my ass out so as to better feel the sting when he smacked it. I did as instructed, spreading my legs and arching my back slightly. I could feel my balls thrust back and was worried that my Master might see them as another target for his crop. But he didn’t and I’ll admit I was relieved.
After he finished using the crop, Black Sovereign sat in a nearby chair and had me once again kneel before him. He pulled his cock from his pants and placed it in front of my face. It was smooth and thick. He instructed me to take only the tip into my mouth, which I did. Understand that I’m bi but predominantly straight; and sexually I tend toward the Top side of things. I don’t generally fantasize about sucking cock or getting fucked. And my experience level with both is marginal. So having Black Sovereign’s cock in my mouth immediately made me self-conscious and worried that I wouldn’t be able to please him due to my lack of skill. But I put all of my focus on HIM – on his pleasure – on doing what I felt would make HIM feel good. And soon I was deep throating Black Sovereign’s cock down to the balls and massaging it with my throat. I could tell by his occasional moan or sigh that he was pleased. And when he placed his hand firmly against the back of my head, holding my face tight against his body, forcing his cock as far down my throat as it would go – I knew I was doing an adequate enough job.
Each time, Black Sovereign would hold my head for longer and longer stretches of time. I was gagged so completely with his cock that I could barely make a sound; and my nostrils were closed off by being forced tight against the smooth skin of his pelvis. Unable to make a sound, I struggled to breathe in silence. And only when my struggles became clearly desperate did Black Sovereign allow me to take a breath before forcing his cock back down my throat and smothering me again. This taught me quickly that I relied entirely on Black Sovereign for the very air I breathe. And it humbled me completely. Not only was I amazed at what a cocksucker I’d so easily become for him, but also at how much I truly felt like a slave. HIS slave.
Black Sovereign pulled his cock from my throat and told me to stand. He gently caressed my ass cheeks with his hand, comforting me, lulling me, before suddenly demonstrating his “bare hand” spanking technique. I did my best not to flinch as the pain intensified and my ass went from pale white to pinkish red. “There. That’s a nice color” he said with approval. “Lie face down on the bed.”
I did as I was instructed, the pressure on my imprisoned cock becoming more unbearable with the weight of my body against it. Black Sovereign spread my legs. I felt something cool and wet against my asshole, followed by Black Sovereign’s fingers moving inside me, massaging me, opening me up. I moaned into the mattress but remained perfectly still, assuming that Black Sovereign’s “no movement” rule applied here as well. Up until this moment, I’d only ever been fucked three times before in my life. The first time was a dreadful experience that put me off the whole notion of having another man’s dick in my ass. The second experience was much more pleasurable, but still nothing to write home about. The third was merely a repeat of the first. Knowing Black Sovereign was about to fuck me stirred up mixed emotions. I wanted to be claimed as his slave. Wanted it more than anything. So part of me was excited that he was actually going to fuck me and make his claim on me official. But the other part of me dreaded the experience based on my past. Yet despite my fears, I relaxed and put my focus solely on Black Sovereign and his pleasure.
I felt him climb on top of me, felt his body weight pin me down. Then the hard tip of his cock was pushed against my asshole and soon was slowly but deliberately sliding into of me, deeper and deeper. I breathed against the pain, again determined to fully experience every single moment of this. Once he was completely inside me, Black Sovereign began to fuck me. Not slowly or gently but with strength and force, ramming my ass as if he owned it, which was exactly the point. He pinned my arms down and used his knees to spread my thighs even wider apart. I couldn’t move. All I could do was lie there and take it. I moaned impulsively and Black Sovereign put his hand over my mouth, pulling my head back toward him, gagging me as he continued to thrust into my ass harder and harder. Then he repositioned me onto my side and pushed my right leg up toward my chest. This allowed him to enter me from a different angle and fuck me even deeper and more fully. The sensation was much more intense in the position. Each thrust filled me but also broke down my defenses. I began to cry. I didn’t want to – in fact I fought against it – but still the tears came. “Slave, look at me!” commanded Black Sovereign. I did as I was told, looking over my shoulder as he continued to fuck me despite the tears. His eyes locked on mine. “Breathe. You’re doing fine – just breathe.” “Yes, SIR” I whimpered. But the emotion couldn’t be contained. It broke out of me in a flood. And as I wept, and apologized repeatedly for weeping, Black Sovereign continued to fuck me until he was satisfied and his own pleasure was achieved.
After he was satisfied, Black Sovereign took me in his arms and held me. He pulled my head close against his chest and gently kissed me on the forehead. A new wave of emotion erupted in me and my Master held me in his arms until it had passed. We discussed what had just happened and I expressed my disappointment in not being able to endure being fucked without breaking. Black Sovereign explained that my emotions were natural. They represented a release – a letting go – and an acceptance of my complete and utter submission to him as my Master. I told him I wanted to try it again. He seemed surprised but pleased. “Are you sure?” he asked with genuine concern. I told him that I was. I wanted the experience to be solely about his pleasure unclouded or interrupted by my emotions. It was important to me that I be able to receive him completely and without hesitation or any focus on my own pain or pleasure.
Black Sovereign released me from his arms and had me lie face down on the bed again. I felt his fingers inside me as he applied more lube to my now tender asshole. And when he entered me again, and fucked me just as strongly and aggressively as he had the first time, I kept ALL of my focus on pleasing him and took every thrust without shedding a single tear. I took this second fucking like the slave that I am. Like the slave Black Sovereign knew I could be when he took me under consideration all those months before. Like the slave he taught me to be and continues teaching me to be. His slave. Black Sovereign’s slave.
After claiming me officially, Black Sovereign asked me what I was thinking. I told him “nothing”. And this was true. There was no conceivable way on earth that I could rationally process what had just happened. The physical, psychological, and emotional impact of his “claim” on me left me stunned and speechless. I needed time to reflect and process the experience. My Master understood this. He knew exactly where I was internally. He dismissed me and told me he’d see me the next day. He also told me to be prepared to share my thoughts since he was giving me time to meditate on my claiming.
The next day, I met with Black Sovereign. I knew I was supposed to kiss his feet upon kneeling before him, but he was working and his shoes were still on. I was uncertain what to do. Interrupt his work? Kiss his shoes when I’d kissed his bare feet the night before? When he faced me, he asked: “What did I tell you last night? What was the first thing you were supposed to do?” And I knew in that moment that I’d made a mistake. I should have kissed his feet immediately, regardless of whether or not he was working or had on his shoes. I kissed his feet at once then apologized and explained my flawed thinking. He accepted my apology but said that next time he wouldn’t be as understanding. Then we discussed the previous night’s experience. I told him how being claimed had made me feel vulnerable in a way I never had before, not just physically but emotionally; and how being fucked by him was one of the single most intense and amazing experiences of my life.
One of the many incredible things about Black Sovereign is that he almost always knows what you’re about to say before you say it. He has a “knowing” about him. Most of my “revelations” about being Alpha in my daily/vanilla life and needing to sacrifice total control to a dominant Superior were already commonplace knowledge to him. My Master knew me better than I knew myself when it came to my deep-rooted desire to submit and serve. Most of my life I’ve been the “rock” for family and friends. What I realized most was that in submitting completely to Black Sovereign as his slave, HE became my rock. My foundation. My strength. It was a liberating realization. My Master only ever wants what is best for me and for me to be my best possible self, not just as his slave but also as a person. By striving constantly to please him, I’m constantly improving myself: physically, psychologically, and emotionally. When Black Sovereign “entered” me so forcefully during my claiming, it was more than just “getting fucked”. He entered me on all levels, became a part of me, a force inside me.
Words can’t express the depth of my gratitude for the transformation Black Sovereign has brought about in me. I’m a better person for being his slave. It’s a gift he gives me every day through his guidance and wisdom. In return, I honor his gift by striving my best to do the one and only thing he requires from me: make him happy. Because his happiness is my happiness.
And that's just how it should be.
Taken from my new sub's blog called "Becoming Black Sovereign's Slave".
As per my Master's direct orders, I'm posting a blog that details my journey to becoming his owned property and slave. This is the approved installment:
My first correspondence with my Master, Black Sovereign, was on May 16th of 2012. At the time I was an unclaimed slave and new to BMR. Like most white subs on the site, I began reaching out and networking with several of the Black Masters here. All were gracious in welcoming me to BMR and a few immediately established regular contact with me, one of them being Black Sovereign. From our very first exchange, I felt there was something different about him. There was a calm authority to his emails, a certain “knowing” in the way he communicated with me, and something soothing but simultaneously intimidating about his tone. The more I chatted with him, the more I wanted to chat with him. And I found myself eagerly looking forward to his next email or simple “hello” via IM.
Since I was scheduled to visit Denver (his home city) on business for a few days in June, and having been intrigued by Black Sovereign’s blog entries on BMR as well as on his own site, I decided to write and inquire about the possibility of serving him during my trip. He very generously permitted me to contact him once I arrived in town, which I promptly did. Black Sovereign designated specific nights and times when he would be available for me to kneel before him. Unfortunately, work demands prevented me from meeting with him. And although Black Sovereign was more than understanding of my situation, I left Denver sorely disappointed that I missed the opportunity to serve and with a deep sense of somehow having failed him.
Little did I know that this missed opportunity was my first step toward becoming Black Sovereign’s slave…
Black Sovereign and I continued communicating almost daily. He asked how I came to recognize Black Superiority and instructed me to detail my experiences with Black Superiors up until now. I told him everything he wanted to know in as much detail as he required. Not only because I tend to be very forthright in general, but also because I recognized the importance of absolute transparency when communicating with a Black Master.
For me, enslavement was not merely a fantasy or a way of getting off sexually. I wasn’t on BMR to simply find “black cock”. My goal was eventually to become the owned property of a true Black Superior and everything that entailed. In my mind, it was my duty and obligation to be as open and honest as possible at ALL times with Black Sovereign. He wanted a complete list of any other Masters I was in communication with, at the time. He also wanted to know which of these Masters I was currently either in regular (daily) contact with or being trained by. There was only one – Master W. He was the first Black Superior to contact me on BMR and establish a connection with me. As it turned out, Master W and Black Sovereign already had their own communication in place and I was soon being “trained” by both of them jointly.
So I went from searching for one Master to being officially trained by two. It was more than I could have hoped for. And I quickly realized it was also more than I could handle…
You’d think that for a white slave serving two Black Masters would be a dream come true. And for a while, it was. But the fantasy of serving quickly gave way to the reality of it. Both Master W and Black Sovereign are true Black Superiors. They each have years of experience training and owning white slaves.
But each one also has his own methods, preferences, and expectations. Master W would chat/cam with me almost every day during the week, usually in the early morning or sometime before noon. Since I work from home and have a certain amount of privacy during work hours, he’d have me strip for him, show my cock, balls, and ass to him. I was never allowed to cum without Master W’s express permission, so he always wanted to check my balls to make certain they were swollen and full, not hanging low and drained. Sometimes he’d order me to edge while he watched, keeping myself on the verge of orgasm indefinitely until he told me to stop. At other times, he’d have me smack my cum-filled balls repeatedly. He’d also have me tie my cock and balls tightly each day and forbid me to wear underwear so that my bound and sensitive cock-head was always rubbing against my jeans or shorts as I walked (a constant reminder of my servitude and an equally constant frustration).
Once, as punishment, I was forbidden to cum for over three months. It was during this time that my training under Black Sovereign began.
Due to his own schedule, Black Sovereign and I chatted in the evenings. The tone of our conversations was noticeably different from those I had with Master W. While both were (and are) clearly men in control who know how to treat and guide a white slave, Black Sovereign had (and has) a calm about him that is hard to describe. Maybe it was due to my familiarity with his blog writings and involvement with BMR, but I immediately had a sense that I’d known Black Sovereign forever. I trusted him completely without hesitation. And I was open and honest with him about all aspects of my vanilla life and my experiences in submission.
Black Sovereign decided to keep me locked in chastity on a daily basis as a sign of my servitude to both him and Master W. This placed me in a constant state of bondage and rendered all control of my cock and balls to my Masters. For me, this was simultaneous bliss and torture. Like most submissives, I have a love-hate relationship with bondage of any kind. While I love the feeling of being helplessly bound and gagged, I always want out in the worst possible way. Once set free, I instantly long to be back in bondage again. Having a naturally high libido, chastity is at times almost unbearable for me. The sensation of being tightly confined is extremely erotic but being in an almost pervasive state of semi-arousal, accompanied by my body’s frequent attempts at forcing an erection, is pure torture. This new chastity schedule made my months of orgasm denial even more intense and nearly unbearable; and though I've eventually adapted to the sensation over time, the frustration of never getting erect or only occasionally having an orgasm can be overwhelming and daunting. But I endure this willingly for my Master. And I do it with pride and a deep sense of accomplishment because I know that I’m pleasing him. And that’s what matters most.
As my training progressed, it became more and more difficult to meet both Master W’s and Black Sovereign’s expectations in addition to the demands of my career and personal life. I wanted to please them both equally, to show my gratitude for their having chosen me to train and to potentially enslave. But I started to feel as if I was being pulled in two directions. My focus began to slip and I made more mistakes more frequently. Master W’s patience with me wore thin. He expressed increasing disappointment with me. His praise of “good boy”, something I’d come to rely on and cherish, was rarely ever given anymore. I became irritable and highly emotional. The sense of joy I’d had at finding not one Master but two was soon replaced by a deep sense of failure and worthlessness. Serving two Masters was becoming virtually impossible. That was now evident. What was also evident was that I would soon have to choose servitude to only ONE Master. And that was a choice I dreaded making…
Serving two Masters proved to be much more challenging (and stressful) than I ever imagined. Though Master W and Black Sovereign were training me jointly, I felt as if I was being pulled in two different directions. Worse yet, I felt as if I was failing miserably at pleasing either of my Superiors, particularly Master W. I was torn. Did I continue trying my best to make both Masters happy or commit to serving only one of them? My impending decision began to weigh very heavily on me. And for a short while, I thought it might be best not to serve either Master. In fact, I actually drafted an email saying as much. But I never sent it. Something inside told me not to. I’d made it this far and my desire to be a white slave to a true Black Superior was much too strong. Then I meditated on my situation. I thought long and hard about it. Played back the past few months over and over again in my mind. And a realization came to me.
Shortly after starting communication with Black Sovereign, he announced that he was claiming me as his sub and potential slave. He explained that I wasn't “officially” claimed yet. That would come later in person if I proved myself worthy. But he was claiming me online as a sign of his genuine interest in my slave potential. And this claim meant that I couldn't submit to or serve any other Black Superiors unless first approved by him. Master W held in place the same rule, but he had never moved to claim me. I was training under him without any indication that I would actually be his property some day (though he did mention possibly having me serve him in his home on occasion). With Black Sovereign, I knew my prospects. Since he’d already made a preliminary claim on me, I knew there was a chance of being more than just an online slave. But, most importantly, I knew how Black Sovereign made me feel: safe, secure, and of value to him. My connection with him felt natural and right, as if we’d always known each other. As if I’d somehow always been his slave. And I knew that he was the Master I was meant to serve.
It was difficult notifying Master W of my decision. But afterward, I felt even more confident in my choice to continue my training under Black Sovereign. And when he announced his visit to LA in October, and told me that he wanted me to kneel before him in person, the possibility of officially being claimed as his slave suddenly seemed much more real to me. I could barely contain my excitement at meeting my Master for the first time. But that meeting was still a few months away. And I had a lot to do to get ready for his visit…
In addition to keeping me locked in daily chastity, Black Sovereign regimented me to a strict workout schedule, which was implemented as part of my training under both him and Master W. I have a naturally beefy, muscular build, but a neck/back injury a few years ago left me much more sedentary than usual. I’d put on some extra weight and lost most of my definition. Black Sovereign explained the importance of a slave looking his absolute best for his Master and, seeing my physical potential (and shades of my former physical condition), he pushed me toward that goal. I worked out hard. Six days a week. Black Sovereign’s praise and approval were my sole motivation. At his command, I sent regular progress pics to keep my Master updated on my improvement – and to learn which areas he felt needed more focus. He cast aside my initial goal of losing weight in favor of building muscle. And as my body began to change and improve, so did my self-confidence, along with my excitement at meeting my Master and undergoing his inspection.
In preparation for Black Sovereign’s arrival, I secured him a room at one of the nicest hotels in the area. Not only did I want him to be comfortable, but I also wanted the accommodations to reflect my gratitude for his deeming me worthy of consideration. I knew part of the reason for his visit was to inspect his potential property and decide whether or not he wanted to claim me as his slave.
The weeks seemed to drag on. But finally, it was the Friday before his arrival. Which meant that Sunday night I’d be kneeling before Black Sovereign in person. My excitement was overwhelming. I had to do everything in my power to distract myself and keep busy with other responsibilities. When I received his text notifying me that he’d arrived at the hotel and was “very pleased” with my choice, I couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the day. After months of training and dedication, the moment was finally here. I’d been convinced that when I missed the opportunity to serve Black Sovereign in Denver I’d most likely never get another one. Now that I had that second opportunity, I wasn’t going to let anything keep me from it.
Sunday night I arrived at Black Sovereign’s room precisely on time and as instructed. Under my jeans, my cock and balls were confined tightly in steel chastity. As per my Master’s specifications, I wore only a jockstrap to cover my imprisoned cock and leave my ass exposed for his appraisal. To my surprise, when I knocked on the door, one of Black Sovereign’s other slaves answered. I knew he’d be traveling with Black Sovereign but had no idea he’d be in the room when I first met my Master. This threw me off balance a bit, which may have been the intention. I entered and saw Black Sovereign working on his laptop. He gave me a perfunctory glance, told me to enter, then went back to work. I stood patiently waiting for him to finish, trying not to seem too nervous as I did. I was determined to consciously experience very single second of this moment and not have it clouded by anxiety of any kind. I didn’t need to worry. Somehow, just seeing Black Sovereign in the flesh made me feel incredibly calm and safe. I felt “at home”. And that feeling told me everything I needed to know.
Black Sovereign dismissed his slave so that he and I could be alone. He had me kneel before him. As I kneeled, he instructed me on the protocol of the evening. What would happen and what was expected of me. I responded with a respectful “Yes, SIR” to each question and command. There was a soothing yet forceful tone to his voice. He spoke at a steady pace, with confidence and intent. His presence filled the entire room and I felt humbled by it.
I was instructed to kiss Black Sovereign’s feet and did. He told me this was expected whenever I first entered his presence and before I departed. Then he had me strip down to my jockstrap and stand still for inspection. He grabbed my cock and balls to make certain they were locked in chastity as instructed. A smile crept onto his face. Then he circled me, inspecting my pecs, arms, legs, back, and ass. He gave each ass cheek an approving pat with his hand and said “Nice. It’s gotten much rounder since the last pics you sent me.” He said this with a smile. I smiled in reply. I was happy he was pleased with my progress. I wanted to look my best for him. He made me feel like I did.
Black Sovereign then stood in front of me, locked his eyes on mine, and simply stared straight into them. He didn’t blink. His focus didn’t waver. He was looking directly into me, making an inner connection, getting inside my mind. I could feel that gaze pierce deeper and deeper, taking hold, gripping me. Then he reached out and took my nipples between the fingers of both his hands. He squeezed them harder and harder until I started to squirm from the pain. “Don’t move,” he said. “Stand perfectly still.” I did as I was told. It wasn’t easy. I have large nips and they’re extremely sensitive. The pain became almost unbearable when he finally released my nipples with a smile. “You did well, slave.” I smiled and thanked him.
Next, Black Sovereign had me remove my jockstrap. He inspected my locked cock and swollen balls. I hadn’t been allowed to cum for six weeks leading up to this moment. I was horny as hell and my dick fought desperately to get hard in its cage. This made my Master chuckle. “I see what you mean about being frustrated,” he smiled again. This was in reference to occasional emails I had sent describing my rising frustration level at being locked in near-constant chastity. As I’ve detailed on my BMR profile, the device I wear is made of stainless steel and is VERY restrictive. Unlike the more popular plastic chastity devices, the one I’m confined in allows absolutely NO room for my cock to move or grow. I’m seven inches when fully erect. And I’m thick. The chastity cage is only three inches long and narrow. It feels as if I don’t have a dick at all most of the time, only a dull throb between my legs.
Black Sovereign smacked my swollen balls with the palm of his hand, lightly at first then increasingly harder. As with my nips, I wasn’t allowed to flinch or move away from the pain, only endure it for his pleasure. Then Black Sovereign went to the closet and returned holding a black, leather Riding Crop. He instructed me to push my ass out so as to better feel the sting when he smacked it. I did as instructed, spreading my legs and arching my back slightly. I could feel my balls thrust back and was worried that my Master might see them as another target for his crop. But he didn’t and I’ll admit I was relieved.
After he finished using the crop, Black Sovereign sat in a nearby chair and had me once again kneel before him. He pulled his cock from his pants and placed it in front of my face. It was smooth and thick. He instructed me to take only the tip into my mouth, which I did. Understand that I’m bi but predominantly straight; and sexually I tend toward the Top side of things. I don’t generally fantasize about sucking cock or getting fucked. And my experience level with both is marginal. So having Black Sovereign’s cock in my mouth immediately made me self-conscious and worried that I wouldn’t be able to please him due to my lack of skill. But I put all of my focus on HIM – on his pleasure – on doing what I felt would make HIM feel good. And soon I was deep throating Black Sovereign’s cock down to the balls and massaging it with my throat. I could tell by his occasional moan or sigh that he was pleased. And when he placed his hand firmly against the back of my head, holding my face tight against his body, forcing his cock as far down my throat as it would go – I knew I was doing an adequate enough job.
Each time, Black Sovereign would hold my head for longer and longer stretches of time. I was gagged so completely with his cock that I could barely make a sound; and my nostrils were closed off by being forced tight against the smooth skin of his pelvis. Unable to make a sound, I struggled to breathe in silence. And only when my struggles became clearly desperate did Black Sovereign allow me to take a breath before forcing his cock back down my throat and smothering me again. This taught me quickly that I relied entirely on Black Sovereign for the very air I breathe. And it humbled me completely. Not only was I amazed at what a cocksucker I’d so easily become for him, but also at how much I truly felt like a slave. HIS slave.
Black Sovereign pulled his cock from my throat and told me to stand. He gently caressed my ass cheeks with his hand, comforting me, lulling me, before suddenly demonstrating his “bare hand” spanking technique. I did my best not to flinch as the pain intensified and my ass went from pale white to pinkish red. “There. That’s a nice color” he said with approval. “Lie face down on the bed.”
I did as I was instructed, the pressure on my imprisoned cock becoming more unbearable with the weight of my body against it. Black Sovereign spread my legs. I felt something cool and wet against my asshole, followed by Black Sovereign’s fingers moving inside me, massaging me, opening me up. I moaned into the mattress but remained perfectly still, assuming that Black Sovereign’s “no movement” rule applied here as well. Up until this moment, I’d only ever been fucked three times before in my life. The first time was a dreadful experience that put me off the whole notion of having another man’s dick in my ass. The second experience was much more pleasurable, but still nothing to write home about. The third was merely a repeat of the first. Knowing Black Sovereign was about to fuck me stirred up mixed emotions. I wanted to be claimed as his slave. Wanted it more than anything. So part of me was excited that he was actually going to fuck me and make his claim on me official. But the other part of me dreaded the experience based on my past. Yet despite my fears, I relaxed and put my focus solely on Black Sovereign and his pleasure.
I felt him climb on top of me, felt his body weight pin me down. Then the hard tip of his cock was pushed against my asshole and soon was slowly but deliberately sliding into of me, deeper and deeper. I breathed against the pain, again determined to fully experience every single moment of this. Once he was completely inside me, Black Sovereign began to fuck me. Not slowly or gently but with strength and force, ramming my ass as if he owned it, which was exactly the point. He pinned my arms down and used his knees to spread my thighs even wider apart. I couldn’t move. All I could do was lie there and take it. I moaned impulsively and Black Sovereign put his hand over my mouth, pulling my head back toward him, gagging me as he continued to thrust into my ass harder and harder. Then he repositioned me onto my side and pushed my right leg up toward my chest. This allowed him to enter me from a different angle and fuck me even deeper and more fully. The sensation was much more intense in the position. Each thrust filled me but also broke down my defenses. I began to cry. I didn’t want to – in fact I fought against it – but still the tears came. “Slave, look at me!” commanded Black Sovereign. I did as I was told, looking over my shoulder as he continued to fuck me despite the tears. His eyes locked on mine. “Breathe. You’re doing fine – just breathe.” “Yes, SIR” I whimpered. But the emotion couldn’t be contained. It broke out of me in a flood. And as I wept, and apologized repeatedly for weeping, Black Sovereign continued to fuck me until he was satisfied and his own pleasure was achieved.
After he was satisfied, Black Sovereign took me in his arms and held me. He pulled my head close against his chest and gently kissed me on the forehead. A new wave of emotion erupted in me and my Master held me in his arms until it had passed. We discussed what had just happened and I expressed my disappointment in not being able to endure being fucked without breaking. Black Sovereign explained that my emotions were natural. They represented a release – a letting go – and an acceptance of my complete and utter submission to him as my Master. I told him I wanted to try it again. He seemed surprised but pleased. “Are you sure?” he asked with genuine concern. I told him that I was. I wanted the experience to be solely about his pleasure unclouded or interrupted by my emotions. It was important to me that I be able to receive him completely and without hesitation or any focus on my own pain or pleasure.
Black Sovereign released me from his arms and had me lie face down on the bed again. I felt his fingers inside me as he applied more lube to my now tender asshole. And when he entered me again, and fucked me just as strongly and aggressively as he had the first time, I kept ALL of my focus on pleasing him and took every thrust without shedding a single tear. I took this second fucking like the slave that I am. Like the slave Black Sovereign knew I could be when he took me under consideration all those months before. Like the slave he taught me to be and continues teaching me to be. His slave. Black Sovereign’s slave.
After claiming me officially, Black Sovereign asked me what I was thinking. I told him “nothing”. And this was true. There was no conceivable way on earth that I could rationally process what had just happened. The physical, psychological, and emotional impact of his “claim” on me left me stunned and speechless. I needed time to reflect and process the experience. My Master understood this. He knew exactly where I was internally. He dismissed me and told me he’d see me the next day. He also told me to be prepared to share my thoughts since he was giving me time to meditate on my claiming.
The next day, I met with Black Sovereign. I knew I was supposed to kiss his feet upon kneeling before him, but he was working and his shoes were still on. I was uncertain what to do. Interrupt his work? Kiss his shoes when I’d kissed his bare feet the night before? When he faced me, he asked: “What did I tell you last night? What was the first thing you were supposed to do?” And I knew in that moment that I’d made a mistake. I should have kissed his feet immediately, regardless of whether or not he was working or had on his shoes. I kissed his feet at once then apologized and explained my flawed thinking. He accepted my apology but said that next time he wouldn’t be as understanding. Then we discussed the previous night’s experience. I told him how being claimed had made me feel vulnerable in a way I never had before, not just physically but emotionally; and how being fucked by him was one of the single most intense and amazing experiences of my life.
One of the many incredible things about Black Sovereign is that he almost always knows what you’re about to say before you say it. He has a “knowing” about him. Most of my “revelations” about being Alpha in my daily/vanilla life and needing to sacrifice total control to a dominant Superior were already commonplace knowledge to him. My Master knew me better than I knew myself when it came to my deep-rooted desire to submit and serve. Most of my life I’ve been the “rock” for family and friends. What I realized most was that in submitting completely to Black Sovereign as his slave, HE became my rock. My foundation. My strength. It was a liberating realization. My Master only ever wants what is best for me and for me to be my best possible self, not just as his slave but also as a person. By striving constantly to please him, I’m constantly improving myself: physically, psychologically, and emotionally. When Black Sovereign “entered” me so forcefully during my claiming, it was more than just “getting fucked”. He entered me on all levels, became a part of me, a force inside me.
Words can’t express the depth of my gratitude for the transformation Black Sovereign has brought about in me. I’m a better person for being his slave. It’s a gift he gives me every day through his guidance and wisdom. In return, I honor his gift by striving my best to do the one and only thing he requires from me: make him happy. Because his happiness is my happiness.
And that's just how it should be.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Real Encounters | Jay
Note: The photo above was taken at the beach during his visit.
I am vacationing in Southern California at the end of this month around Halloween and will be accompanied by my personal assistant, Dave and a new long distance sub, by the name of Jay, whom has visited me a couple times since we first met on Memorial Day. I knew that he was just discovering his submissive side and that meeting me helped him come to terms with it. Being very shy and "damaged" in a way, I didn't expect much from him. He was the first applicant for my new Weekend Service program.
Over the last few months, he has consistently stayed in touch with me and has found time to devote a day to serving me whenever he was in the area visiting his family. In July, I made him aware that I would be taking a week vacation in the Los Angeles area in October. He stated that he would love to meet me there to serve. Now, I'm thinking he meant take his vacation during that time as well.... until I received his confirmation email last night.
"Sir: Although the prices haven't gone down, I did get my money so I can buy my ticket. I have the following ticket 'on hold'. It will give me most of Saturday and Sunday, without missing work. Please let me know if it works for you and I will confirm. They gave me 24 hours.
Depart Anchorage - 10 PM Oct. 26, Arrive at LAX 9:11 AM (Oct. 27th)
Depart LAX - 5:55 PM Oct. 28, Arrive at Anchorage 12:54 AM (October 29th)
Thank you, Jay"
I re-read his email just to make sure my eyes were not playing tricks on me. He is literally flying in on a Saturday morning (an hour before my own flight arrives - after flying out on Friday NIGHT) and leaving on Sunday at 6pm. When he said the prices had not changed, my curiousity took over and I went to Travelocity to see how much that trip would cost. I saw a deal (that was ending in 24 hours) for $477.00. Remember, that he is flying down from Anchorage, Alaska so flights are rare and not cheap.
Part of me wanted to tell him to save his money. But, then I remembered our last conversation during his visit in September. He said that he was excited that I was allowing him to share in my vacation and that he wanted to make me happy. Making me happy is very important to Jay. I asked him why and he simply said that I deserved it. He says that I have been very good to him and that he enjoys serving me more than he ever realized. I know that he has self-esteem issues as well as a very abusive past. And I also know that I have his loyalty. But I never imagined anyone spending half a grand to fly out for a day just to be with me and contribute to my vacation.
As a Dominant and Master, I should not be surprised by his actions as he clearly holds me in high esteem but my reality is that most submissives are all words and no action. Fear has a way of getting in the way of most. Many more have lost precious opportunities as a result of letting their pride and/or fear get in the way... and I don't give second chances (okay, once... and he still serves me to this day but that was a rare exception). I simply refocus on the next submissive who wants a chance to prove themselves. I know I deserve the best. But when I see a sub's actions actually backed up the words... it does surprise me. I purposely set the expectation with myself to be disappointed. It's a defense mechanism that keeps me from putting alot of my time and attention into someone who will just end up failing me in the end anyway.
So when a sub actually follows through and exceeds my expectations. It does affect me. It genuinely surprises me, actually. I sent back a message letting him know that the timeframe was okay and to book the flight. Jay has been my little pet project, since May, as he is very new to being a submissive but he is a natural at it. When you look at him, you would never guess he was submissive.
And that's how I like them. Blank canvases to turn into my own personal masterpieces.
I am vacationing in Southern California at the end of this month around Halloween and will be accompanied by my personal assistant, Dave and a new long distance sub, by the name of Jay, whom has visited me a couple times since we first met on Memorial Day. I knew that he was just discovering his submissive side and that meeting me helped him come to terms with it. Being very shy and "damaged" in a way, I didn't expect much from him. He was the first applicant for my new Weekend Service program.
Over the last few months, he has consistently stayed in touch with me and has found time to devote a day to serving me whenever he was in the area visiting his family. In July, I made him aware that I would be taking a week vacation in the Los Angeles area in October. He stated that he would love to meet me there to serve. Now, I'm thinking he meant take his vacation during that time as well.... until I received his confirmation email last night.
"Sir: Although the prices haven't gone down, I did get my money so I can buy my ticket. I have the following ticket 'on hold'. It will give me most of Saturday and Sunday, without missing work. Please let me know if it works for you and I will confirm. They gave me 24 hours.
Depart Anchorage - 10 PM Oct. 26, Arrive at LAX 9:11 AM (Oct. 27th)
Depart LAX - 5:55 PM Oct. 28, Arrive at Anchorage 12:54 AM (October 29th)
Thank you, Jay"
I re-read his email just to make sure my eyes were not playing tricks on me. He is literally flying in on a Saturday morning (an hour before my own flight arrives - after flying out on Friday NIGHT) and leaving on Sunday at 6pm. When he said the prices had not changed, my curiousity took over and I went to Travelocity to see how much that trip would cost. I saw a deal (that was ending in 24 hours) for $477.00. Remember, that he is flying down from Anchorage, Alaska so flights are rare and not cheap.
Part of me wanted to tell him to save his money. But, then I remembered our last conversation during his visit in September. He said that he was excited that I was allowing him to share in my vacation and that he wanted to make me happy. Making me happy is very important to Jay. I asked him why and he simply said that I deserved it. He says that I have been very good to him and that he enjoys serving me more than he ever realized. I know that he has self-esteem issues as well as a very abusive past. And I also know that I have his loyalty. But I never imagined anyone spending half a grand to fly out for a day just to be with me and contribute to my vacation.
As a Dominant and Master, I should not be surprised by his actions as he clearly holds me in high esteem but my reality is that most submissives are all words and no action. Fear has a way of getting in the way of most. Many more have lost precious opportunities as a result of letting their pride and/or fear get in the way... and I don't give second chances (okay, once... and he still serves me to this day but that was a rare exception). I simply refocus on the next submissive who wants a chance to prove themselves. I know I deserve the best. But when I see a sub's actions actually backed up the words... it does surprise me. I purposely set the expectation with myself to be disappointed. It's a defense mechanism that keeps me from putting alot of my time and attention into someone who will just end up failing me in the end anyway.
So when a sub actually follows through and exceeds my expectations. It does affect me. It genuinely surprises me, actually. I sent back a message letting him know that the timeframe was okay and to book the flight. Jay has been my little pet project, since May, as he is very new to being a submissive but he is a natural at it. When you look at him, you would never guess he was submissive.
And that's how I like them. Blank canvases to turn into my own personal masterpieces.
Friday, June 10, 2011
My First Submissive
This true-life story chronicles my first experience meeting a straight white jock who didn't know he was looking for someone to serve. My first submissive.
I had my start during my first year in college. On the first day of moving into my dorm, I met Whit. A white jock and all-american looking guy. He seemed extremely outgoing and very interested in me. At the time (the early 90's) race relations were getting better and I think a lot of whites felt more confident about approaching Blacks. We talked about our majors and when he saw the little mini Nerf basketball hoop attached to the door, I suddenly found myself engrossed in a game of dorm room basketball. He had the height and a lot more muscle but I had the skill. At one point, while he was trying to block me, he kept backing his butt up against me to prevent me from having a clear shot.
Now I've been blocked before while playing basketball. It's just natural that bodies will bump that way. But never like that. It seemed almost intentional. But I said nothing... I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't enjoy it. The boy had a really nice ass.
Over the course of the first semester, we started hanging out more since we had three classes together. My Black roommates started joking with me that I had myself a secret admirer. I knew they were joking but they weren't the only ones to notice how "attached at the hip" Whit was becoming. I didn't immediately see it as I'd never had a white friend before and was enjoying the attention.
One of our routines was walking to the local 7-11 together. Whit would find me wherever I was just so that I would walk over with him. It was a good half mile away and we always walked along the train tracks. During that time, Whit would open up about his life, goals and concerns. It was a side of him nobody ever saw but me. Around others, he was the obnoxious, cocky jock guy nobody liked. Always obsessed with his body and flexing in public to show everyone he was the top dog.
I'd later realize that it was because of low self-esteem.
This came to a head one day while I was chatting with Whit's roommates who had invited me in for a beer while I waited. They were very verbal of their dislike for Whit and wondered how I do put up with him. I knew Whit was a bit of a loose cannon around others he felt threatened by and this situation was no different.
I suppose Whit was listening on the other side of the dorm room door when he burst in and started yelling at his roommates. I thought things were about to get physical so I made my exit as it had not escaped my notice that Whit's good ol boy roommates were card-carrying members of the NRA. Nasty tobacco chew spitting and all.
Whit found me later at the library and apologized for his behavior. He thought he had scared me and rushed into an explanation. I didn't need one. I already knew why he flew off the handle like that.
The following semester, Whit and I had only one class together so spent less time as study partners. At this time, I had met a nice couple, Rob and Amy, in one of my new classes. They were both competing bodybuilders and we hit it off almost immediately mainly due to my interest in physical fitness and the art of body sculpting.
My new friendship did not go unnoticed by Whit. He began turning up at our study locations pretending to be on his way somewhere. I saw him checking out Rob and started almost sneering. I caught Rob's expression as he seemed confused by Whit's reaction.
Later on, Rob asked me if he'd done anything to upset Whit and I said no jokingly saying that he was jealous of Rob's development. I knew deep down that I was right. Whit viewed Rob as a threat to our friendship.
Whit became increasingly overbearing at times to the point where I didn't want to see him one day as I'd had enough. He spent most of his time in the gym and the rest trying his best to hog every available time I had.
My avoiding him set off something I had not expected. I came back to my dorm room to pissed off roommates and a hole in our door. Apparently, Whit put his fist through it when he didn't believe them when they told him they didn't know where I was.
The carnage continued up the hall to his room where the door was completely off its hinges and the room totally destroyed. His roommates were nowhere to be found. I was starting to get concerned by this time as I'd never seen Whit get angry. Jealous, yes. Annoyingly vain? Yes, but never violent.
I couldn't find him anywhere so decided to go to 7-11 for a slushee (a nightly routine by that time). Halfway there, from behind, I hear someone running towards me and turn to see Whit. I actually took a step back as I didn't like the crazed look in his eye.
He saw my expression and immediately stopped running and even backed away a little. He asked why I didn't come get him to go to the store and then just broke down and cried! I never knew how important our trips to 7-11 were until that moment. I didn't know what to do as I'd never seen a man cry outside of a funeral.
I cautiously approached and put my hand on his shoulder and asked him what was wrong and he looked up and asked if I still liked him. I said yes. He then asked if I liked him better than Rob. I hesitated but then said yes. I felt he needed to hear that for some reason. He later confided that he was struggling with feelings he'd never had before... towards me.
He identifies himself as straight as he is only attracted to women but with me it's different. He finds himself wanting to please me so that I'd look at him like I did when we first met. I didn't know I looked at him any other way than I already had. He sought my approval on almost everything. And found himself insanely jealous of Rob because he had a more muscular build than Whit. He actually thought that Rob was taking his place as my friend and felt threatened.
He then confided that he had started taking steroids to get bigger quicker. At least that explained the violent episodes and mood swings. They had definitely helped him put on more mass in a very short period of time but the cost was too high.
Whit begged me to not toss him aside. That he needed me but didn't know why and it made him crazy. He just knew that he needed me and would do anything to keep me in his life. Just then, I remembered something my grandmother had said to me before she passed away. Could it be... nahhh. But maybe? Hmmm.
To test that possibility, I asked Whit to meet me in one of the quiet rooms (private windowless study rooms you could reserve for an hour at a time). Whit looked so defeated that I felt bad for him. I told him that we couldn't continue being friends.
He lost it.
Whit crumpled to the floor and asked what he had done wrong. I took a step back and he quickly got back to his feet and begged me to tell him what he did so he could fix it. He'd change, whatever I wanted. I knew that I was the only real friend he had at the school and he was fighting hard to keep me.
So I said that there was one thing he could do.
He said anything. I asked if he was sure. He said he'd never been more sure in his life.
I told him to kneel in front of me.
It took a moment but he did as he was told. He was scared and looked very vulnerable.
I asked, are you in love with me?
The expressions that crossed his face made me smile. It was confusion, surprise, outrage and something else all mixed into one. I knew he was conflicted and I needed to know his answer before I proceeded.
In a small voice, he said yes.
At this time, I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I knew I was at least bisexual but had never been with a man sexually and was curious. So I took the next step.
I told him to kiss my shoes.
He hesitated too long and I turned around to walk out.
I felt his hand encase my wrist and turned and socked him hard in the jaw. A defensive reflex but it surprised both him and me. I recovered immediately and told him to never lay his hand on me unless I told him to. Then commanded him to do as he was told or I walk away for good.
He dropped down and kissed my shoes without hesitation.
Whit helped me experience having my first sub then eventual slave. He was also my first male sexual experience, and I his. During the two years we developed our relationship, he told me that he knows that he is straight but with me he can be anything I wanted him to be. But only me.
By the third year, Whit found out from an ex flame in college that he had gotten her pregnant. DNA testing was accessible at this time and tests confirmed he was the father. Whit always wanted kids and wanted to be apart of his child's life. I allowed him to be.
The problem was that the kid's mother had moved to his home state of Florida. I lived in Michigan. He only got to see his kid once every couple of months when the child came up to visit its grandparents.
Whit served me faithfully and never regretted his decision but I knew he wanted more time with his kid. I gave him permission to travel frequently to Florida whenever I saw depression setting in.
Eventually, I decided to let him go. He fought tooth and nail to get me to reconsider and even said he'd give up his right to his kid. I couldn't allow that to happen. The kid loved its father and I didn't want Whit to cheat the kid out of being its father.
So I eventually came up with the following solution...
Whit didn't like relocating as he was worried I wouldn't need him anymore. He was still highly co-dependent which is natural in the relationship that we were in. He relied on me for everything. Advice, direction, stability (outlook on life), friendship, emotional (satisfying his need to serve and make me happy) and physical.
It was hard the first couple months. There were a few emergency flights from Florida but over time, he settled into his new role... as dedicated father. Eventually, his service to me became inactive but he retains the right to stay in touch and to be of service if I ever needed him for anything.
He's happy with the arrangement as he knows its my will. And that's all that really matters in the end.
Years later we still keep in touch. He graduated and now works for one of the major Universities in Florida utilizing his Sports Medicine degree. I'm "Uncle" to his kid and he's now married (yes, I allowed that). As I said, he was true to his word that he would never be with another man after serving me. His new wife is also a submissive so they have that in common. They are happy together and that makes me happy.
It also makes me happy knowing that Whit would be at my side at the drop of a hat if I wanted him to. After all this time, I am still his number one priority by his own admission. Although, he knows I prefer that he focus on his family.
I am fortunate that my first foray into the Lifestyle went so well. It was unexpected and that's what makes it significant. Neither one of us had any formal Lifestyle training but we still instinctively knew our "roles".
I strongly believe that the key to a successful Lifestyle relationship is possessing a natural tendency towards identifying who you really are. Whether that is Dominant or submissive. It is something you just can't force... it has to happen naturally on its own.
When it "feels right", you'll know.
I had my start during my first year in college. On the first day of moving into my dorm, I met Whit. A white jock and all-american looking guy. He seemed extremely outgoing and very interested in me. At the time (the early 90's) race relations were getting better and I think a lot of whites felt more confident about approaching Blacks. We talked about our majors and when he saw the little mini Nerf basketball hoop attached to the door, I suddenly found myself engrossed in a game of dorm room basketball. He had the height and a lot more muscle but I had the skill. At one point, while he was trying to block me, he kept backing his butt up against me to prevent me from having a clear shot.
Now I've been blocked before while playing basketball. It's just natural that bodies will bump that way. But never like that. It seemed almost intentional. But I said nothing... I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't enjoy it. The boy had a really nice ass.
Over the course of the first semester, we started hanging out more since we had three classes together. My Black roommates started joking with me that I had myself a secret admirer. I knew they were joking but they weren't the only ones to notice how "attached at the hip" Whit was becoming. I didn't immediately see it as I'd never had a white friend before and was enjoying the attention.
One of our routines was walking to the local 7-11 together. Whit would find me wherever I was just so that I would walk over with him. It was a good half mile away and we always walked along the train tracks. During that time, Whit would open up about his life, goals and concerns. It was a side of him nobody ever saw but me. Around others, he was the obnoxious, cocky jock guy nobody liked. Always obsessed with his body and flexing in public to show everyone he was the top dog.
I'd later realize that it was because of low self-esteem.
This came to a head one day while I was chatting with Whit's roommates who had invited me in for a beer while I waited. They were very verbal of their dislike for Whit and wondered how I do put up with him. I knew Whit was a bit of a loose cannon around others he felt threatened by and this situation was no different.
I suppose Whit was listening on the other side of the dorm room door when he burst in and started yelling at his roommates. I thought things were about to get physical so I made my exit as it had not escaped my notice that Whit's good ol boy roommates were card-carrying members of the NRA. Nasty tobacco chew spitting and all.
Whit found me later at the library and apologized for his behavior. He thought he had scared me and rushed into an explanation. I didn't need one. I already knew why he flew off the handle like that.
The following semester, Whit and I had only one class together so spent less time as study partners. At this time, I had met a nice couple, Rob and Amy, in one of my new classes. They were both competing bodybuilders and we hit it off almost immediately mainly due to my interest in physical fitness and the art of body sculpting.
My new friendship did not go unnoticed by Whit. He began turning up at our study locations pretending to be on his way somewhere. I saw him checking out Rob and started almost sneering. I caught Rob's expression as he seemed confused by Whit's reaction.
Later on, Rob asked me if he'd done anything to upset Whit and I said no jokingly saying that he was jealous of Rob's development. I knew deep down that I was right. Whit viewed Rob as a threat to our friendship.
Whit became increasingly overbearing at times to the point where I didn't want to see him one day as I'd had enough. He spent most of his time in the gym and the rest trying his best to hog every available time I had.
My avoiding him set off something I had not expected. I came back to my dorm room to pissed off roommates and a hole in our door. Apparently, Whit put his fist through it when he didn't believe them when they told him they didn't know where I was.
The carnage continued up the hall to his room where the door was completely off its hinges and the room totally destroyed. His roommates were nowhere to be found. I was starting to get concerned by this time as I'd never seen Whit get angry. Jealous, yes. Annoyingly vain? Yes, but never violent.
I couldn't find him anywhere so decided to go to 7-11 for a slushee (a nightly routine by that time). Halfway there, from behind, I hear someone running towards me and turn to see Whit. I actually took a step back as I didn't like the crazed look in his eye.
He saw my expression and immediately stopped running and even backed away a little. He asked why I didn't come get him to go to the store and then just broke down and cried! I never knew how important our trips to 7-11 were until that moment. I didn't know what to do as I'd never seen a man cry outside of a funeral.
I cautiously approached and put my hand on his shoulder and asked him what was wrong and he looked up and asked if I still liked him. I said yes. He then asked if I liked him better than Rob. I hesitated but then said yes. I felt he needed to hear that for some reason. He later confided that he was struggling with feelings he'd never had before... towards me.
He identifies himself as straight as he is only attracted to women but with me it's different. He finds himself wanting to please me so that I'd look at him like I did when we first met. I didn't know I looked at him any other way than I already had. He sought my approval on almost everything. And found himself insanely jealous of Rob because he had a more muscular build than Whit. He actually thought that Rob was taking his place as my friend and felt threatened.
He then confided that he had started taking steroids to get bigger quicker. At least that explained the violent episodes and mood swings. They had definitely helped him put on more mass in a very short period of time but the cost was too high.
Whit begged me to not toss him aside. That he needed me but didn't know why and it made him crazy. He just knew that he needed me and would do anything to keep me in his life. Just then, I remembered something my grandmother had said to me before she passed away. Could it be... nahhh. But maybe? Hmmm.
To test that possibility, I asked Whit to meet me in one of the quiet rooms (private windowless study rooms you could reserve for an hour at a time). Whit looked so defeated that I felt bad for him. I told him that we couldn't continue being friends.
He lost it.
Whit crumpled to the floor and asked what he had done wrong. I took a step back and he quickly got back to his feet and begged me to tell him what he did so he could fix it. He'd change, whatever I wanted. I knew that I was the only real friend he had at the school and he was fighting hard to keep me.
So I said that there was one thing he could do.
He said anything. I asked if he was sure. He said he'd never been more sure in his life.
I told him to kneel in front of me.
It took a moment but he did as he was told. He was scared and looked very vulnerable.
I asked, are you in love with me?
The expressions that crossed his face made me smile. It was confusion, surprise, outrage and something else all mixed into one. I knew he was conflicted and I needed to know his answer before I proceeded.
In a small voice, he said yes.
At this time, I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I knew I was at least bisexual but had never been with a man sexually and was curious. So I took the next step.
I told him to kiss my shoes.
He hesitated too long and I turned around to walk out.
I felt his hand encase my wrist and turned and socked him hard in the jaw. A defensive reflex but it surprised both him and me. I recovered immediately and told him to never lay his hand on me unless I told him to. Then commanded him to do as he was told or I walk away for good.
He dropped down and kissed my shoes without hesitation.
Whit helped me experience having my first sub then eventual slave. He was also my first male sexual experience, and I his. During the two years we developed our relationship, he told me that he knows that he is straight but with me he can be anything I wanted him to be. But only me.
By the third year, Whit found out from an ex flame in college that he had gotten her pregnant. DNA testing was accessible at this time and tests confirmed he was the father. Whit always wanted kids and wanted to be apart of his child's life. I allowed him to be.
The problem was that the kid's mother had moved to his home state of Florida. I lived in Michigan. He only got to see his kid once every couple of months when the child came up to visit its grandparents.
Whit served me faithfully and never regretted his decision but I knew he wanted more time with his kid. I gave him permission to travel frequently to Florida whenever I saw depression setting in.
Eventually, I decided to let him go. He fought tooth and nail to get me to reconsider and even said he'd give up his right to his kid. I couldn't allow that to happen. The kid loved its father and I didn't want Whit to cheat the kid out of being its father.
So I eventually came up with the following solution...
- Reduce service to part-time/seasonal.
- Allow him to retain his status as my sub/slave (long-distance)
- Order him to relocate to Florida and focus on his kid.
- Visit me at least one weekend out of the month.
- Finish his degree in Sports Medicine.
Whit didn't like relocating as he was worried I wouldn't need him anymore. He was still highly co-dependent which is natural in the relationship that we were in. He relied on me for everything. Advice, direction, stability (outlook on life), friendship, emotional (satisfying his need to serve and make me happy) and physical.
It was hard the first couple months. There were a few emergency flights from Florida but over time, he settled into his new role... as dedicated father. Eventually, his service to me became inactive but he retains the right to stay in touch and to be of service if I ever needed him for anything.
He's happy with the arrangement as he knows its my will. And that's all that really matters in the end.
Years later we still keep in touch. He graduated and now works for one of the major Universities in Florida utilizing his Sports Medicine degree. I'm "Uncle" to his kid and he's now married (yes, I allowed that). As I said, he was true to his word that he would never be with another man after serving me. His new wife is also a submissive so they have that in common. They are happy together and that makes me happy.
It also makes me happy knowing that Whit would be at my side at the drop of a hat if I wanted him to. After all this time, I am still his number one priority by his own admission. Although, he knows I prefer that he focus on his family.
I am fortunate that my first foray into the Lifestyle went so well. It was unexpected and that's what makes it significant. Neither one of us had any formal Lifestyle training but we still instinctively knew our "roles".
I strongly believe that the key to a successful Lifestyle relationship is possessing a natural tendency towards identifying who you really are. Whether that is Dominant or submissive. It is something you just can't force... it has to happen naturally on its own.
When it "feels right", you'll know.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
The Beginning | Who I Am
I have been active in this Lifestyle since I was 19 years old. My grandmother actually introduced it to me inadvertently as a child by observing her "life coaching" skills on a neighbor. Call it "white guilt" or what not but I always wondered why the neighbor labored for my grandmother when he had his own farm but always showed up faithfully to help my grandmother with odd jobs she needed down around her property.
He seemed happy to do it which I found very strange as she resided in what many call the most racist state in the United States, Mississippi. From my understanding, no white man would be caught dead doing anything that even resembled working (or helping) for a black man or woman. When I asked her about it, she only told me that they had been "friends" for a very long time and he "knew his place". When I asked if she paid him anything and she looked at me funny and exclaimed "hell nah!".
I still didn't fully understand her relationship with the white man but I got used to him being around whenever we visited over summer break. He even offered to wash my parents car during a visit. It wasn't until he died, when I was 14, that I started to learn more about their odd arrangement. I happened to walk up the road to her mailbox, to retrieve any mail, and three white kids around my age approached me on my way back to the house. I had never noticed them before and was weary until the oldest who looked to be in his early 20's introduced himself and his younger siblings. They were all pleasant and asked if I was related to grandmother. When I answered yes, they looked at each other, quickly got on one knee and bowed!
"Uhm... what are you doing?!" I exclaimed and took a step back.
"We humbly show respect for Nana and the Master" They all said in unison as they stood up.
I know now that they thought I was my grandmother's son. Although what was just said shocked the hell out of me, I took the opportunity to ask questions everyone seemed reluctant to answer and what I found out was shocking. The Calloways have been serving members of my grandmother's side of the family since slavery times (the early 1800's). They even taught future generations to serve as well. Understandably, I was a bit uncomfortable with this information so allowed them to follow me back to the house to introduce to my grandmother. When I explained what happened at the mailbox, she looked them over.
"Are you Calloway's kids?" She asked in a stern voice I rarely hear her use.
"Yes Ma'am! Our dad left the house to us so we were down cleaning up and saw your son at the mailbox. We only wanted to show respect. Did we do something wrong?" asked the oldest who seemed rather nervous. Almost like he was scared of her.
"No child. You did right. I'm sorry to hear about your father. He was a good man. Since you are here, there are some things I want to discuss with you all. Follow me." She said and started walking towards the woods behind the house.
I had started to follow as well when she turned around and told me to stay at the house. I was disappointed as I really wanted to know what was going on. They came back about an hour later with full smiles and a hearty wave at me as they walked back home.
"Nana? What was that all about?" I asked as I followed her back into the house.
"Nothing you should concern yourself with just yet. They just needed direction, which I gave to them. You remember Mr. Calloway?" She asked while putting the kettle on.
I nodded.
"He had a debt to pay to our family and his children just wanted to know what they could do to help pay it off. And I told them." She explained.
"So why did they..." I started to ask but grandmother put up her hand to cut me off.
"Don't concern yourself with that right now. All will reveal itself in time." She said with a smile and a kiss to my forehead. I knew the conversation was finished whenever she did that but I still was curious. And no one else seemed to want to talk about it.
My grandmother still didn't open up much about her lifestyle until after my father died, shortly before I graduated high school. In her lifestyle, I became the head of household as the oldest male so thus it was time for me to step up to the role fully. She told me the name of her lifestyle was called Obeah or some variation of it specific to her family and the network of other African-American families that are involved across the southern United States and other countries.
I decided to go to college and seek my own way but promised to give what was offered great consideration. I was never pressured to do anything against my will including what I believe. I was very fortunate to grow up in an environment that promoted self-learning. Nothing was ever forced upon me but presented in a way that allowed me to come to my own conclusions... including my grandmothers lifestyle choices.
I still know very little about Obeah but incorporate what I do know into an updated version that works very well for me and those who feel drawn to my philosophies.
This isn't the whole story, obviously... but its a start. The rest reveals itself in time.
I have never been an easy person to get to know.
He seemed happy to do it which I found very strange as she resided in what many call the most racist state in the United States, Mississippi. From my understanding, no white man would be caught dead doing anything that even resembled working (or helping) for a black man or woman. When I asked her about it, she only told me that they had been "friends" for a very long time and he "knew his place". When I asked if she paid him anything and she looked at me funny and exclaimed "hell nah!".
I still didn't fully understand her relationship with the white man but I got used to him being around whenever we visited over summer break. He even offered to wash my parents car during a visit. It wasn't until he died, when I was 14, that I started to learn more about their odd arrangement. I happened to walk up the road to her mailbox, to retrieve any mail, and three white kids around my age approached me on my way back to the house. I had never noticed them before and was weary until the oldest who looked to be in his early 20's introduced himself and his younger siblings. They were all pleasant and asked if I was related to grandmother. When I answered yes, they looked at each other, quickly got on one knee and bowed!
"Uhm... what are you doing?!" I exclaimed and took a step back.
"We humbly show respect for Nana and the Master" They all said in unison as they stood up.
I know now that they thought I was my grandmother's son. Although what was just said shocked the hell out of me, I took the opportunity to ask questions everyone seemed reluctant to answer and what I found out was shocking. The Calloways have been serving members of my grandmother's side of the family since slavery times (the early 1800's). They even taught future generations to serve as well. Understandably, I was a bit uncomfortable with this information so allowed them to follow me back to the house to introduce to my grandmother. When I explained what happened at the mailbox, she looked them over.
"Are you Calloway's kids?" She asked in a stern voice I rarely hear her use.
"Yes Ma'am! Our dad left the house to us so we were down cleaning up and saw your son at the mailbox. We only wanted to show respect. Did we do something wrong?" asked the oldest who seemed rather nervous. Almost like he was scared of her.
"No child. You did right. I'm sorry to hear about your father. He was a good man. Since you are here, there are some things I want to discuss with you all. Follow me." She said and started walking towards the woods behind the house.
I had started to follow as well when she turned around and told me to stay at the house. I was disappointed as I really wanted to know what was going on. They came back about an hour later with full smiles and a hearty wave at me as they walked back home.
"Nana? What was that all about?" I asked as I followed her back into the house.
"Nothing you should concern yourself with just yet. They just needed direction, which I gave to them. You remember Mr. Calloway?" She asked while putting the kettle on.
I nodded.
"He had a debt to pay to our family and his children just wanted to know what they could do to help pay it off. And I told them." She explained.
"So why did they..." I started to ask but grandmother put up her hand to cut me off.
"Don't concern yourself with that right now. All will reveal itself in time." She said with a smile and a kiss to my forehead. I knew the conversation was finished whenever she did that but I still was curious. And no one else seemed to want to talk about it.
My grandmother still didn't open up much about her lifestyle until after my father died, shortly before I graduated high school. In her lifestyle, I became the head of household as the oldest male so thus it was time for me to step up to the role fully. She told me the name of her lifestyle was called Obeah or some variation of it specific to her family and the network of other African-American families that are involved across the southern United States and other countries.
I decided to go to college and seek my own way but promised to give what was offered great consideration. I was never pressured to do anything against my will including what I believe. I was very fortunate to grow up in an environment that promoted self-learning. Nothing was ever forced upon me but presented in a way that allowed me to come to my own conclusions... including my grandmothers lifestyle choices.
I still know very little about Obeah but incorporate what I do know into an updated version that works very well for me and those who feel drawn to my philosophies.
This isn't the whole story, obviously... but its a start. The rest reveals itself in time.
I have never been an easy person to get to know.
Friday, April 22, 2011
The Black Sovereign Initiative
The Black Sovereign Initiative is a concept that was developed by myself and other self-identified Dominants whom shared the same philosophy on how to create a harmonious relationship between those who identify with being Dominant or submissive. There is plenty of documentation on the Net that focuses on the fetish aspect of the Lifestyle but nothing that focused on the reality and work that goes into creating a relationship based on consensual power exchange.
For Us, it is not enough to want to serve or even to be served. It is more important to know exactly what you want before you get involved. I have seen lives ruined because of a misguided goal that was over before it even began. The truth of the matter is that most people just do not know how to incorporate the Lifestyle into their every day reality. Just like the quote at the top of this page... we all live in the sun-lit world of reality but the trick is recognizing and navigating the dark side and finding a way to successfully merge the two.
My vision for the Black Sovereign Initiative stems from incorporating elements designed to bring "balance" to the lives of individuals who prefer to live them as either Dominants or submissives. While most of society would look down on these terms as controversial, I feel that the Lifestyle simply needs to be better defined. Misunderstandings can be better avoided if one has a better view of what it stands for. I'm hoping to use this site to bring about that understanding. To put a face on a Lifestyle that has been around longer than most realize.
Feel free to comment on any topic posted on this site that interests you. I only require that respect is given at all times.
ABOUT BLACK SOVEREIGN
My name can mean any number of things. Yes, I am Black. But I am also in control. Being a sovereign is a state of mind. You are in constant awareness of your own emotional state and those around you.
Human emotions are like jigsaw puzzle pieces. Put them together correctly and the matter at hand is solved. That's how I live my life... an ever evolving landscape of puzzles that have all their pieces, just requires a steady hand to solve.
Being a Dominant (or submissive) isn't just a state of mind, it is a state of being. It is something that cannot be taught. Just like being gay, you are born with it.
Some can be taught to tap into their own being. But it is preferred that one puts in the work on their own to come to that realization. Understanding yourself and what you need is the biggest challenge anyone will ever have to face in their lifetime.
Black Sovereign represents who I am as a Man. I am a confident black man who has always known exactly who he is... even if I didn't fully understand what that was. I am Sovereign over myself and everything around me. The most important part of that identity being absolute confidence in my ability to run my own life. You can't expect to be followed if your own life is a mess.
My life is not exactly an open book... but for those who wish to know more about me, I will offer a glimpse into my journey in this Lifestyle.
[box title="Send a Message to Black Sovereign" border_width="2" border_color="#000000" border_style="solid" align="center"]
[one_half]
[contact-form subject='The Black Sovereign Initiative'][contact-field label='Name' type='name' required='1'/][contact-field label='Email' type='email' required='1'/][contact-field label='Website' type='url'/][contact-field label='Comment' type='textarea' required='1'/][/contact-form]
[/one_half][one_half_last]
[/one_half_last]
[/box]
For Us, it is not enough to want to serve or even to be served. It is more important to know exactly what you want before you get involved. I have seen lives ruined because of a misguided goal that was over before it even began. The truth of the matter is that most people just do not know how to incorporate the Lifestyle into their every day reality. Just like the quote at the top of this page... we all live in the sun-lit world of reality but the trick is recognizing and navigating the dark side and finding a way to successfully merge the two.
My vision for the Black Sovereign Initiative stems from incorporating elements designed to bring "balance" to the lives of individuals who prefer to live them as either Dominants or submissives. While most of society would look down on these terms as controversial, I feel that the Lifestyle simply needs to be better defined. Misunderstandings can be better avoided if one has a better view of what it stands for. I'm hoping to use this site to bring about that understanding. To put a face on a Lifestyle that has been around longer than most realize.
Feel free to comment on any topic posted on this site that interests you. I only require that respect is given at all times.
ABOUT BLACK SOVEREIGN
My name can mean any number of things. Yes, I am Black. But I am also in control. Being a sovereign is a state of mind. You are in constant awareness of your own emotional state and those around you.
Human emotions are like jigsaw puzzle pieces. Put them together correctly and the matter at hand is solved. That's how I live my life... an ever evolving landscape of puzzles that have all their pieces, just requires a steady hand to solve.
Being a Dominant (or submissive) isn't just a state of mind, it is a state of being. It is something that cannot be taught. Just like being gay, you are born with it.
Some can be taught to tap into their own being. But it is preferred that one puts in the work on their own to come to that realization. Understanding yourself and what you need is the biggest challenge anyone will ever have to face in their lifetime.
Black Sovereign represents who I am as a Man. I am a confident black man who has always known exactly who he is... even if I didn't fully understand what that was. I am Sovereign over myself and everything around me. The most important part of that identity being absolute confidence in my ability to run my own life. You can't expect to be followed if your own life is a mess.
My life is not exactly an open book... but for those who wish to know more about me, I will offer a glimpse into my journey in this Lifestyle.
[box title="Send a Message to Black Sovereign" border_width="2" border_color="#000000" border_style="solid" align="center"]
[one_half]
[contact-form subject='The Black Sovereign Initiative'][contact-field label='Name' type='name' required='1'/][contact-field label='Email' type='email' required='1'/][contact-field label='Website' type='url'/][contact-field label='Comment' type='textarea' required='1'/][/contact-form]
[/one_half][one_half_last]
[/one_half_last]
[/box]
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