Showing posts with label blacksovereign. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blacksovereign. Show all posts
Monday, May 19, 2014
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Keeping It Real
This week has been one of various changes. Changes at work, changes at home... and changes in overall perspective concerning the relationships you have.
Sometimes we forget that we are human. That we are emotional creatures yet social perceptions shape how we deal with that side of ourselves. We make concessions based on what we perceive to be "good investments". We go against our better nature when making decisions that affect our happiness. We essentially do everything but what we should be doing for ourselves.
Remember that I said "sometimes". But if you are real with yourself, then that sometimes may be alot more times than you care to admit.
Whatever choices we make... it is the choice that feels right at the time. No regrets.
Keeping things real is what gets you through the bullshit that is the human condition. But no one is perfect. Anyone who says differently is pulling your dick.
As Doms, we invest our time into molding and training subs. The time spent should always be repaid in loyalty and devotion to pleasing Us. Again, I said "should". But as any Dom can attest, that is rarely the case.
Is it the subs fault? Sometimes. Is it the Doms fault? Sometimes. There are just too many factors to really put the blame on any one except for the simple truth. Relationships of any type need to be nurtured by both parties.
This is null and void when the focus is instant gratification. You play a role. Get what you want and then its on to the next. No investment of time necessary.
But if you want something more substantial and real... then keep it real. Know your limitations. Know what you want. Most importantly, know what you need. Pretending only takes you so far before reality comes crashing down.
How does one know what they need? Unfortunately, only you know the answer to that.
Whatever you do, just try to keep it real.
Life is less complicated that way.
Sometimes we forget that we are human. That we are emotional creatures yet social perceptions shape how we deal with that side of ourselves. We make concessions based on what we perceive to be "good investments". We go against our better nature when making decisions that affect our happiness. We essentially do everything but what we should be doing for ourselves.
Remember that I said "sometimes". But if you are real with yourself, then that sometimes may be alot more times than you care to admit.
Whatever choices we make... it is the choice that feels right at the time. No regrets.
Keeping things real is what gets you through the bullshit that is the human condition. But no one is perfect. Anyone who says differently is pulling your dick.
As Doms, we invest our time into molding and training subs. The time spent should always be repaid in loyalty and devotion to pleasing Us. Again, I said "should". But as any Dom can attest, that is rarely the case.
Is it the subs fault? Sometimes. Is it the Doms fault? Sometimes. There are just too many factors to really put the blame on any one except for the simple truth. Relationships of any type need to be nurtured by both parties.
This is null and void when the focus is instant gratification. You play a role. Get what you want and then its on to the next. No investment of time necessary.
But if you want something more substantial and real... then keep it real. Know your limitations. Know what you want. Most importantly, know what you need. Pretending only takes you so far before reality comes crashing down.
How does one know what they need? Unfortunately, only you know the answer to that.
Whatever you do, just try to keep it real.
Life is less complicated that way.
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Expectations
My parents always taught me to never expect things to happen for myself. That only I have the power to create change and control my own path in life... and they were right.
When a sub disappoints me, I do not blame them for not doing enough to satisfy me, I blame myself for not training them to serve better.
When a sub disappoints me, repeatedly, I remind the sub that if they wish to continue with the opportunity they have been given, that I deserve and expect MORE from them. And that if they felt incapable of giving me MORE then it would be best to part ways. I refuse to waste my valuable time and effort on someone who will not give me theirs...
I am disappointed in you.
"But Sir, I tried my best Sir!"
Did you really try your best?
"...I believe so."
Then it's safe to say that I can expect nothing more from you than what you have shown me today?
"Yes Sir"
I am terminating your service, effective immediately. You may leave.
"But Sir! I tried my best! Please believe me! I don't want to leave your service, Sir!"
Did you really try your best?
"Well...I thought I did but I could have done better, Sir"
My decision still stands. Leave now.
"No!!!"
I know you did not just raise your voice at me.
"I'm sorry Sir.... I meant, no I did not try my best. But I give you my word that I will from now on"
Why?
"Why? Because... well..."
Tell me right now or leave.
"I want to become the best I can be for you, Sir. I want you to be proud of me. I need you to be proud of me."
... ... ...
"Sir? ...please..."
You may stay... for now... but I am not convinced.
"I understand Sir. I will work to prove to you that I value the gift of service you have given me."
That's the smartest thing you have said all day.
"Thank you, Sir... I meant every word."
In my view, your performance is what defines you. The level of effort that you put into getting to know someone is what you are judged upon. Setting aside character flaws, personality issues and so on... if you do not have the drive to pursue what you want then you deserve EVERY SINGLE DISAPPOINTMENT THAT COMES YOUR WAY.
A sobering thought, isn't it?
No one ever wants to admit to their own failures.
No one ever wants to concede that they did not do enough.
No one ever wants to face the fact that they need to accept their own flaws before expecting everyone else to...
No one is perfect. But you can strive for what you feel is good enough, for you. You do this by reinventing yourself every single day in order to become more than what you were before.
Doing more... to get more.
When a sub disappoints me, I do not blame them for not doing enough to satisfy me, I blame myself for not training them to serve better.
When a sub disappoints me, repeatedly, I remind the sub that if they wish to continue with the opportunity they have been given, that I deserve and expect MORE from them. And that if they felt incapable of giving me MORE then it would be best to part ways. I refuse to waste my valuable time and effort on someone who will not give me theirs...
I am disappointed in you.
"But Sir, I tried my best Sir!"
Did you really try your best?
"...I believe so."
Then it's safe to say that I can expect nothing more from you than what you have shown me today?
"Yes Sir"
I am terminating your service, effective immediately. You may leave.
"But Sir! I tried my best! Please believe me! I don't want to leave your service, Sir!"
Did you really try your best?
"Well...I thought I did but I could have done better, Sir"
My decision still stands. Leave now.
"No!!!"
I know you did not just raise your voice at me.
"I'm sorry Sir.... I meant, no I did not try my best. But I give you my word that I will from now on"
Why?
"Why? Because... well..."
Tell me right now or leave.
"I want to become the best I can be for you, Sir. I want you to be proud of me. I need you to be proud of me."
... ... ...
"Sir? ...please..."
You may stay... for now... but I am not convinced.
"I understand Sir. I will work to prove to you that I value the gift of service you have given me."
That's the smartest thing you have said all day.
"Thank you, Sir... I meant every word."
In my view, your performance is what defines you. The level of effort that you put into getting to know someone is what you are judged upon. Setting aside character flaws, personality issues and so on... if you do not have the drive to pursue what you want then you deserve EVERY SINGLE DISAPPOINTMENT THAT COMES YOUR WAY.
A sobering thought, isn't it?
No one ever wants to admit to their own failures.
No one ever wants to concede that they did not do enough.
No one ever wants to face the fact that they need to accept their own flaws before expecting everyone else to...
No one is perfect. But you can strive for what you feel is good enough, for you. You do this by reinventing yourself every single day in order to become more than what you were before.
Doing more... to get more.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Footprints In The Sand (1.10.14)
Celebrating 40 years. I could think of no better way to spend part of it than on the beach. Quiet moments like that always brings life into perspective for me. No matter what we do or where we go... we always leave an impression.
Saturday, January 11, 2014
What I Look For In A Submissive
What I look for in a submissive...
In order to learn, you must listen...
All of my life, I have known I was different. I looked at life differently. Relationships differently. The little intricacies that make a person who they are stand out for me... while flying right over everyone else's head. I would often wonder why I never felt the conventional idea of marriage and kids never clicked with me. The American dream is one made of up misconceptions about what will make you happy with your life. I knew this at age 18.
As a kid, I used to fantasize about being a king and would pretend to go through life with servants who would attend to my every desire and whim. When opening a door, I would imagine someone opening it for me. If I was eating, I'd imagine having an attendant cut up my food and refill my drink. And when I was in bed... I'd imagine having my feet massaged and kissed. My shoulders and back massaged... basically having every creature comfort covered.
I wouldn't have to ask or want for anything, it was offered as if they knew me and what I wanted... needed. Their focused attention on me provided me with a sense of power and happiness. I enjoyed being the center of attention and knowing that seeing I was happy made them happy. Of course, reality would always set in and I would have to step back into it and navigate the myriad of emotional dysfunction that was... everyone else. With the occasional exception.
"Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements... even if it leads nowhere?" - Adele
I like that verse from the song, Chasing Pavements. When I heard it for the first time, I found immediate kinship. It relates to my search for love on a level that I feel I deserve. I have been a source of comfort and advice to many different people throughout my life including those in the Lifestyle. I don't mind that role as it is a positive influence that can change lives. I always feel I play a small role as the only thing I do is steer people onto the path I see would be the best route to go. I do understand that not everyone can see that for themselves.
The Lifestyle allows me to define any relationship I make on my terms. My slave, partner is one who can match with those terms. Whether naturally (preferred) or by learning to conform. It is rare when you meet someone who shares so many of your own interests and likes. More times than not, they are either already in a relationship or only destined to be in your life for a short period of time.
I have had successful relationships in the past but I feel I was too young to really appreciate them... which is why they ended. It was usually me who ended them. Having 20 years of my adult life behind me, I know what I need now. In the past, I only knew what I wanted. The thing with getting what you want is... it's empty once accomplished. When you finally get what you need, it is a unique experience where you feel a wide array of emotions. Heart pounding excitement, daydreams about what life would be like with that person, and constant thoughts about that person and how they make you feel.
I have always been independent and the "strong one" for everyone else. Too often, I yearn to have someone take care of me for once. I fall victim to the idea that as a Master, I don't need emotional support. I can provide it for myself. If that was true then psychiatrists and counselors would be out business. Sometimes, the Master needs to take a break or vacation from that role. We are, after all, human.
I look for a submissive who can appeal to me physically as well as emotionally. I strongly believe that together it forms a bond early as there is nothing you have to wait for such as transforming ones body. If the attraction is there in the beginning... it's all uphill from there and in a good way.
I look for a submissive who wants to get to know me. Following orders is what a slave is supposed to do. But seeking to get to know me is something I cannot order.. it has to be something the sub wants to do. It's something I wait for and usually never comes. I don't fault people for being focused on their own wants and needs. But this is why conventional relationships tend to end in breakups or divorce. Those who stay together seek to find out what their partner needs. Sounds simple but many people mistake wants for needs and there is a big difference.
I look for a submissive who strives to keep the connection alive. Once a sub enters a relationship with his Dominant, things tend to become "comfortable" where the effort to please starts to become too routine and automated. Keeping the connection alive and fresh means continuing to show appreciation for the opportunity to serve and for being accepted in the first place. Never take what you have for granted.
I look for a submissive who is open minded enough to focus more on what I find pleasurable compared to how they feel about it. Many subs don't realize that when they selflessly participate in something that they would rather not do just because they wish to please their Master... their sacrifice is noticed. More times than not, the outcome will favor both parties.
I look for a submissive who knows his place yet can easily slip into various roles depending on the situation. Even better if the sub can clearly see that the roles are not roles at all. They are simply different aspects of the same person.
I look for a sub who is the jealous type... not the psychotic, possessive type of jealousy but the constructive kind. When he recognizes I appreciate someone else that prompts him to want that appreciation for himself. And will do what he can to get it. At the same time, he knows that he is loved and valued yet still strives to be everything for his Master.
I look for a submissive who wants to be everything for me. Someone who will put me first. Who wants to put me first. Who needs to put me first. Sometimes, that kind of connection takes time to build up. Other times, it just happens. In either case, when you find a connection to someone that just feels "right"; even though you can't explain it... whatever you do, DON'T fear it, EMBRACE it.
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Rules of Engagement
There is a right way and WRONG way of approaching a Dominant, like myself. Many subs come off as aggressive and almost demand to be subjugated. Whether that is frustration or impatience, I don't know nor care... that bullshit is not tolerated and will get your email or contact DELETED or IGNORED. That's right. I won't even bother with a reply since you didn't bother to show respect.
The key rule of thumb to reference: What do you have to offer?
If you can't answer that simple question then you have no business approaching me or any Dominant for that matter.
Other points to consider when approaching me...
Black Sovereign is more than just a screen name. It is who I am. First and foremost, sovereign over my own life and everything around me. My grandmother taught me to never accept less than what I deserve which means I expect only the best. My family has an underground history of Black rule and although I chose not to go with tradition, I know that there are naturals out there in society that will seek me out and show me they want a once in a lifetime chance to become who they were born to be...
I've been in the Lifestyle for the better part of 20 years now. Just turned 40 today.
Every Black Dominant is his own man. I am definitely mine and it would be in your best interest to approach me as a clean slate. You will fail if you approach me otherwise.
Be confident in what you are offering. It's not enough to want to serve... you must "need" it to be worthy of any investment of time to mold you.
These are my Rules of Engagement. As with anything I choose to share freely online, it is multi-purpose advice I hope you will and have learned from.
The key rule of thumb to reference: What do you have to offer?
If you can't answer that simple question then you have no business approaching me or any Dominant for that matter.
Other points to consider when approaching me...
- If seeking servitude, know that I favor full service servants. That includes domestic in addition to sexual duties. The only exception would be those who wish to provide hospitality if I happen to be visiting their city/country (Travel Hosts). Servitude in that case would be temporary, thus exempt.
- If seeking to be used sexually ONLY, you better be offering a body that is built for pleasure. That means having a visually appealing, rounded ass or better. Something I can find value in for the limited service you are offering. Or at least look like you spend some time in the gym to look fuckable. Just being real here. If all you have to offer is sex, whether as a quick hookup or whatever, then you need to be able to compete with every other sub bottom out there seeking the exact same thing.
- Don't start off first contact with a simple one-liner like "Hi, how are you?" or "Hey Sir, how is your week going?". Or worse, think that I would be impressed that you love and crave "BBC". If you attempt to come at me casually like that... that's exactly how I'll treat my reply back... casually. Meaning, no interest. This is fine if all you are doing is acknowledging, giving a compliment, seeking advice... but not seeking to serve. Would you go to an important job interview without your resume? I didn't think so.
- If you are not immediately local where an in-person meeting can take place, then you better have more than one photo available to view (or email) to give me some perspective on what you look like. Stats are never enough and can not be verified. Photos never lie... unless the person in them is not you or some old photo taken 10 years prior. In this modern age, video conferencing is free with programs like Skype and Google Hangout. This means that interviewing via webcam would become necessary and expected if unable to travel.
- Be prepared to take some time to write a decent introduction as to who you are, what you are looking for, and why you are approaching me. A Dominant prefers to hear why a sub wants to be accepted by him. It can't be random... it has to mean something to you to make it significant and worth spending our time on. An opportunity to gain and KEEP our interest is terrible thing to waste.
- DO NOT APPROACH ME (ABOUT SERVING) IF YOU ARE ALREADY TALKING TO ANOTHER DOMINANT! BE RESPECTFUL AND FOCUS ON THAT CONNECTION FIRST. And don't think I won't find out. I WILL FIND OUT. Be free from all attachments (excluding friendship) with other Doms when approaching. I deserve, nothing less than, 100% of your attention.
Black Sovereign is more than just a screen name. It is who I am. First and foremost, sovereign over my own life and everything around me. My grandmother taught me to never accept less than what I deserve which means I expect only the best. My family has an underground history of Black rule and although I chose not to go with tradition, I know that there are naturals out there in society that will seek me out and show me they want a once in a lifetime chance to become who they were born to be...
I've been in the Lifestyle for the better part of 20 years now. Just turned 40 today.
Every Black Dominant is his own man. I am definitely mine and it would be in your best interest to approach me as a clean slate. You will fail if you approach me otherwise.
Be confident in what you are offering. It's not enough to want to serve... you must "need" it to be worthy of any investment of time to mold you.
These are my Rules of Engagement. As with anything I choose to share freely online, it is multi-purpose advice I hope you will and have learned from.
Friday, November 22, 2013
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Real Encounters | Jay
Note: The photo above was taken at the beach during his visit.
I am vacationing in Southern California at the end of this month around Halloween and will be accompanied by my personal assistant, Dave and a new long distance sub, by the name of Jay, whom has visited me a couple times since we first met on Memorial Day. I knew that he was just discovering his submissive side and that meeting me helped him come to terms with it. Being very shy and "damaged" in a way, I didn't expect much from him. He was the first applicant for my new Weekend Service program.
Over the last few months, he has consistently stayed in touch with me and has found time to devote a day to serving me whenever he was in the area visiting his family. In July, I made him aware that I would be taking a week vacation in the Los Angeles area in October. He stated that he would love to meet me there to serve. Now, I'm thinking he meant take his vacation during that time as well.... until I received his confirmation email last night.
"Sir: Although the prices haven't gone down, I did get my money so I can buy my ticket. I have the following ticket 'on hold'. It will give me most of Saturday and Sunday, without missing work. Please let me know if it works for you and I will confirm. They gave me 24 hours.
Depart Anchorage - 10 PM Oct. 26, Arrive at LAX 9:11 AM (Oct. 27th)
Depart LAX - 5:55 PM Oct. 28, Arrive at Anchorage 12:54 AM (October 29th)
Thank you, Jay"
I re-read his email just to make sure my eyes were not playing tricks on me. He is literally flying in on a Saturday morning (an hour before my own flight arrives - after flying out on Friday NIGHT) and leaving on Sunday at 6pm. When he said the prices had not changed, my curiousity took over and I went to Travelocity to see how much that trip would cost. I saw a deal (that was ending in 24 hours) for $477.00. Remember, that he is flying down from Anchorage, Alaska so flights are rare and not cheap.
Part of me wanted to tell him to save his money. But, then I remembered our last conversation during his visit in September. He said that he was excited that I was allowing him to share in my vacation and that he wanted to make me happy. Making me happy is very important to Jay. I asked him why and he simply said that I deserved it. He says that I have been very good to him and that he enjoys serving me more than he ever realized. I know that he has self-esteem issues as well as a very abusive past. And I also know that I have his loyalty. But I never imagined anyone spending half a grand to fly out for a day just to be with me and contribute to my vacation.
As a Dominant and Master, I should not be surprised by his actions as he clearly holds me in high esteem but my reality is that most submissives are all words and no action. Fear has a way of getting in the way of most. Many more have lost precious opportunities as a result of letting their pride and/or fear get in the way... and I don't give second chances (okay, once... and he still serves me to this day but that was a rare exception). I simply refocus on the next submissive who wants a chance to prove themselves. I know I deserve the best. But when I see a sub's actions actually backed up the words... it does surprise me. I purposely set the expectation with myself to be disappointed. It's a defense mechanism that keeps me from putting alot of my time and attention into someone who will just end up failing me in the end anyway.
So when a sub actually follows through and exceeds my expectations. It does affect me. It genuinely surprises me, actually. I sent back a message letting him know that the timeframe was okay and to book the flight. Jay has been my little pet project, since May, as he is very new to being a submissive but he is a natural at it. When you look at him, you would never guess he was submissive.
And that's how I like them. Blank canvases to turn into my own personal masterpieces.
I am vacationing in Southern California at the end of this month around Halloween and will be accompanied by my personal assistant, Dave and a new long distance sub, by the name of Jay, whom has visited me a couple times since we first met on Memorial Day. I knew that he was just discovering his submissive side and that meeting me helped him come to terms with it. Being very shy and "damaged" in a way, I didn't expect much from him. He was the first applicant for my new Weekend Service program.
Over the last few months, he has consistently stayed in touch with me and has found time to devote a day to serving me whenever he was in the area visiting his family. In July, I made him aware that I would be taking a week vacation in the Los Angeles area in October. He stated that he would love to meet me there to serve. Now, I'm thinking he meant take his vacation during that time as well.... until I received his confirmation email last night.
"Sir: Although the prices haven't gone down, I did get my money so I can buy my ticket. I have the following ticket 'on hold'. It will give me most of Saturday and Sunday, without missing work. Please let me know if it works for you and I will confirm. They gave me 24 hours.
Depart Anchorage - 10 PM Oct. 26, Arrive at LAX 9:11 AM (Oct. 27th)
Depart LAX - 5:55 PM Oct. 28, Arrive at Anchorage 12:54 AM (October 29th)
Thank you, Jay"
I re-read his email just to make sure my eyes were not playing tricks on me. He is literally flying in on a Saturday morning (an hour before my own flight arrives - after flying out on Friday NIGHT) and leaving on Sunday at 6pm. When he said the prices had not changed, my curiousity took over and I went to Travelocity to see how much that trip would cost. I saw a deal (that was ending in 24 hours) for $477.00. Remember, that he is flying down from Anchorage, Alaska so flights are rare and not cheap.
Part of me wanted to tell him to save his money. But, then I remembered our last conversation during his visit in September. He said that he was excited that I was allowing him to share in my vacation and that he wanted to make me happy. Making me happy is very important to Jay. I asked him why and he simply said that I deserved it. He says that I have been very good to him and that he enjoys serving me more than he ever realized. I know that he has self-esteem issues as well as a very abusive past. And I also know that I have his loyalty. But I never imagined anyone spending half a grand to fly out for a day just to be with me and contribute to my vacation.
As a Dominant and Master, I should not be surprised by his actions as he clearly holds me in high esteem but my reality is that most submissives are all words and no action. Fear has a way of getting in the way of most. Many more have lost precious opportunities as a result of letting their pride and/or fear get in the way... and I don't give second chances (okay, once... and he still serves me to this day but that was a rare exception). I simply refocus on the next submissive who wants a chance to prove themselves. I know I deserve the best. But when I see a sub's actions actually backed up the words... it does surprise me. I purposely set the expectation with myself to be disappointed. It's a defense mechanism that keeps me from putting alot of my time and attention into someone who will just end up failing me in the end anyway.
So when a sub actually follows through and exceeds my expectations. It does affect me. It genuinely surprises me, actually. I sent back a message letting him know that the timeframe was okay and to book the flight. Jay has been my little pet project, since May, as he is very new to being a submissive but he is a natural at it. When you look at him, you would never guess he was submissive.
And that's how I like them. Blank canvases to turn into my own personal masterpieces.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
The Beginning | Who I Am
I have been active in this Lifestyle since I was 19 years old. My grandmother actually introduced it to me inadvertently as a child by observing her "life coaching" skills on a neighbor. Call it "white guilt" or what not but I always wondered why the neighbor labored for my grandmother when he had his own farm but always showed up faithfully to help my grandmother with odd jobs she needed down around her property.
He seemed happy to do it which I found very strange as she resided in what many call the most racist state in the United States, Mississippi. From my understanding, no white man would be caught dead doing anything that even resembled working (or helping) for a black man or woman. When I asked her about it, she only told me that they had been "friends" for a very long time and he "knew his place". When I asked if she paid him anything and she looked at me funny and exclaimed "hell nah!".
I still didn't fully understand her relationship with the white man but I got used to him being around whenever we visited over summer break. He even offered to wash my parents car during a visit. It wasn't until he died, when I was 14, that I started to learn more about their odd arrangement. I happened to walk up the road to her mailbox, to retrieve any mail, and three white kids around my age approached me on my way back to the house. I had never noticed them before and was weary until the oldest who looked to be in his early 20's introduced himself and his younger siblings. They were all pleasant and asked if I was related to grandmother. When I answered yes, they looked at each other, quickly got on one knee and bowed!
"Uhm... what are you doing?!" I exclaimed and took a step back.
"We humbly show respect for Nana and the Master" They all said in unison as they stood up.
I know now that they thought I was my grandmother's son. Although what was just said shocked the hell out of me, I took the opportunity to ask questions everyone seemed reluctant to answer and what I found out was shocking. The Calloways have been serving members of my grandmother's side of the family since slavery times (the early 1800's). They even taught future generations to serve as well. Understandably, I was a bit uncomfortable with this information so allowed them to follow me back to the house to introduce to my grandmother. When I explained what happened at the mailbox, she looked them over.
"Are you Calloway's kids?" She asked in a stern voice I rarely hear her use.
"Yes Ma'am! Our dad left the house to us so we were down cleaning up and saw your son at the mailbox. We only wanted to show respect. Did we do something wrong?" asked the oldest who seemed rather nervous. Almost like he was scared of her.
"No child. You did right. I'm sorry to hear about your father. He was a good man. Since you are here, there are some things I want to discuss with you all. Follow me." She said and started walking towards the woods behind the house.
I had started to follow as well when she turned around and told me to stay at the house. I was disappointed as I really wanted to know what was going on. They came back about an hour later with full smiles and a hearty wave at me as they walked back home.
"Nana? What was that all about?" I asked as I followed her back into the house.
"Nothing you should concern yourself with just yet. They just needed direction, which I gave to them. You remember Mr. Calloway?" She asked while putting the kettle on.
I nodded.
"He had a debt to pay to our family and his children just wanted to know what they could do to help pay it off. And I told them." She explained.
"So why did they..." I started to ask but grandmother put up her hand to cut me off.
"Don't concern yourself with that right now. All will reveal itself in time." She said with a smile and a kiss to my forehead. I knew the conversation was finished whenever she did that but I still was curious. And no one else seemed to want to talk about it.
My grandmother still didn't open up much about her lifestyle until after my father died, shortly before I graduated high school. In her lifestyle, I became the head of household as the oldest male so thus it was time for me to step up to the role fully. She told me the name of her lifestyle was called Obeah or some variation of it specific to her family and the network of other African-American families that are involved across the southern United States and other countries.
I decided to go to college and seek my own way but promised to give what was offered great consideration. I was never pressured to do anything against my will including what I believe. I was very fortunate to grow up in an environment that promoted self-learning. Nothing was ever forced upon me but presented in a way that allowed me to come to my own conclusions... including my grandmothers lifestyle choices.
I still know very little about Obeah but incorporate what I do know into an updated version that works very well for me and those who feel drawn to my philosophies.
This isn't the whole story, obviously... but its a start. The rest reveals itself in time.
I have never been an easy person to get to know.
He seemed happy to do it which I found very strange as she resided in what many call the most racist state in the United States, Mississippi. From my understanding, no white man would be caught dead doing anything that even resembled working (or helping) for a black man or woman. When I asked her about it, she only told me that they had been "friends" for a very long time and he "knew his place". When I asked if she paid him anything and she looked at me funny and exclaimed "hell nah!".
I still didn't fully understand her relationship with the white man but I got used to him being around whenever we visited over summer break. He even offered to wash my parents car during a visit. It wasn't until he died, when I was 14, that I started to learn more about their odd arrangement. I happened to walk up the road to her mailbox, to retrieve any mail, and three white kids around my age approached me on my way back to the house. I had never noticed them before and was weary until the oldest who looked to be in his early 20's introduced himself and his younger siblings. They were all pleasant and asked if I was related to grandmother. When I answered yes, they looked at each other, quickly got on one knee and bowed!
"Uhm... what are you doing?!" I exclaimed and took a step back.
"We humbly show respect for Nana and the Master" They all said in unison as they stood up.
I know now that they thought I was my grandmother's son. Although what was just said shocked the hell out of me, I took the opportunity to ask questions everyone seemed reluctant to answer and what I found out was shocking. The Calloways have been serving members of my grandmother's side of the family since slavery times (the early 1800's). They even taught future generations to serve as well. Understandably, I was a bit uncomfortable with this information so allowed them to follow me back to the house to introduce to my grandmother. When I explained what happened at the mailbox, she looked them over.
"Are you Calloway's kids?" She asked in a stern voice I rarely hear her use.
"Yes Ma'am! Our dad left the house to us so we were down cleaning up and saw your son at the mailbox. We only wanted to show respect. Did we do something wrong?" asked the oldest who seemed rather nervous. Almost like he was scared of her.
"No child. You did right. I'm sorry to hear about your father. He was a good man. Since you are here, there are some things I want to discuss with you all. Follow me." She said and started walking towards the woods behind the house.
I had started to follow as well when she turned around and told me to stay at the house. I was disappointed as I really wanted to know what was going on. They came back about an hour later with full smiles and a hearty wave at me as they walked back home.
"Nana? What was that all about?" I asked as I followed her back into the house.
"Nothing you should concern yourself with just yet. They just needed direction, which I gave to them. You remember Mr. Calloway?" She asked while putting the kettle on.
I nodded.
"He had a debt to pay to our family and his children just wanted to know what they could do to help pay it off. And I told them." She explained.
"So why did they..." I started to ask but grandmother put up her hand to cut me off.
"Don't concern yourself with that right now. All will reveal itself in time." She said with a smile and a kiss to my forehead. I knew the conversation was finished whenever she did that but I still was curious. And no one else seemed to want to talk about it.
My grandmother still didn't open up much about her lifestyle until after my father died, shortly before I graduated high school. In her lifestyle, I became the head of household as the oldest male so thus it was time for me to step up to the role fully. She told me the name of her lifestyle was called Obeah or some variation of it specific to her family and the network of other African-American families that are involved across the southern United States and other countries.
I decided to go to college and seek my own way but promised to give what was offered great consideration. I was never pressured to do anything against my will including what I believe. I was very fortunate to grow up in an environment that promoted self-learning. Nothing was ever forced upon me but presented in a way that allowed me to come to my own conclusions... including my grandmothers lifestyle choices.
I still know very little about Obeah but incorporate what I do know into an updated version that works very well for me and those who feel drawn to my philosophies.
This isn't the whole story, obviously... but its a start. The rest reveals itself in time.
I have never been an easy person to get to know.
Friday, April 22, 2011
The Black Sovereign Initiative
The Black Sovereign Initiative is a concept that was developed by myself and other self-identified Dominants whom shared the same philosophy on how to create a harmonious relationship between those who identify with being Dominant or submissive. There is plenty of documentation on the Net that focuses on the fetish aspect of the Lifestyle but nothing that focused on the reality and work that goes into creating a relationship based on consensual power exchange.
For Us, it is not enough to want to serve or even to be served. It is more important to know exactly what you want before you get involved. I have seen lives ruined because of a misguided goal that was over before it even began. The truth of the matter is that most people just do not know how to incorporate the Lifestyle into their every day reality. Just like the quote at the top of this page... we all live in the sun-lit world of reality but the trick is recognizing and navigating the dark side and finding a way to successfully merge the two.
My vision for the Black Sovereign Initiative stems from incorporating elements designed to bring "balance" to the lives of individuals who prefer to live them as either Dominants or submissives. While most of society would look down on these terms as controversial, I feel that the Lifestyle simply needs to be better defined. Misunderstandings can be better avoided if one has a better view of what it stands for. I'm hoping to use this site to bring about that understanding. To put a face on a Lifestyle that has been around longer than most realize.
Feel free to comment on any topic posted on this site that interests you. I only require that respect is given at all times.
ABOUT BLACK SOVEREIGN
My name can mean any number of things. Yes, I am Black. But I am also in control. Being a sovereign is a state of mind. You are in constant awareness of your own emotional state and those around you.
Human emotions are like jigsaw puzzle pieces. Put them together correctly and the matter at hand is solved. That's how I live my life... an ever evolving landscape of puzzles that have all their pieces, just requires a steady hand to solve.
Being a Dominant (or submissive) isn't just a state of mind, it is a state of being. It is something that cannot be taught. Just like being gay, you are born with it.
Some can be taught to tap into their own being. But it is preferred that one puts in the work on their own to come to that realization. Understanding yourself and what you need is the biggest challenge anyone will ever have to face in their lifetime.
Black Sovereign represents who I am as a Man. I am a confident black man who has always known exactly who he is... even if I didn't fully understand what that was. I am Sovereign over myself and everything around me. The most important part of that identity being absolute confidence in my ability to run my own life. You can't expect to be followed if your own life is a mess.
My life is not exactly an open book... but for those who wish to know more about me, I will offer a glimpse into my journey in this Lifestyle.
[box title="Send a Message to Black Sovereign" border_width="2" border_color="#000000" border_style="solid" align="center"]
[one_half]
[contact-form subject='The Black Sovereign Initiative'][contact-field label='Name' type='name' required='1'/][contact-field label='Email' type='email' required='1'/][contact-field label='Website' type='url'/][contact-field label='Comment' type='textarea' required='1'/][/contact-form]
[/one_half][one_half_last]
[/one_half_last]
[/box]
For Us, it is not enough to want to serve or even to be served. It is more important to know exactly what you want before you get involved. I have seen lives ruined because of a misguided goal that was over before it even began. The truth of the matter is that most people just do not know how to incorporate the Lifestyle into their every day reality. Just like the quote at the top of this page... we all live in the sun-lit world of reality but the trick is recognizing and navigating the dark side and finding a way to successfully merge the two.
My vision for the Black Sovereign Initiative stems from incorporating elements designed to bring "balance" to the lives of individuals who prefer to live them as either Dominants or submissives. While most of society would look down on these terms as controversial, I feel that the Lifestyle simply needs to be better defined. Misunderstandings can be better avoided if one has a better view of what it stands for. I'm hoping to use this site to bring about that understanding. To put a face on a Lifestyle that has been around longer than most realize.
Feel free to comment on any topic posted on this site that interests you. I only require that respect is given at all times.
ABOUT BLACK SOVEREIGN
My name can mean any number of things. Yes, I am Black. But I am also in control. Being a sovereign is a state of mind. You are in constant awareness of your own emotional state and those around you.
Human emotions are like jigsaw puzzle pieces. Put them together correctly and the matter at hand is solved. That's how I live my life... an ever evolving landscape of puzzles that have all their pieces, just requires a steady hand to solve.
Being a Dominant (or submissive) isn't just a state of mind, it is a state of being. It is something that cannot be taught. Just like being gay, you are born with it.
Some can be taught to tap into their own being. But it is preferred that one puts in the work on their own to come to that realization. Understanding yourself and what you need is the biggest challenge anyone will ever have to face in their lifetime.
Black Sovereign represents who I am as a Man. I am a confident black man who has always known exactly who he is... even if I didn't fully understand what that was. I am Sovereign over myself and everything around me. The most important part of that identity being absolute confidence in my ability to run my own life. You can't expect to be followed if your own life is a mess.
My life is not exactly an open book... but for those who wish to know more about me, I will offer a glimpse into my journey in this Lifestyle.
[box title="Send a Message to Black Sovereign" border_width="2" border_color="#000000" border_style="solid" align="center"]
[one_half]
[contact-form subject='The Black Sovereign Initiative'][contact-field label='Name' type='name' required='1'/][contact-field label='Email' type='email' required='1'/][contact-field label='Website' type='url'/][contact-field label='Comment' type='textarea' required='1'/][/contact-form]
[/one_half][one_half_last]
[/one_half_last]
[/box]
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