Knowing Your Role

**ORIGINAL POST: MAY 2012**

We all know there are hundreds, even thousands of people out there seeking to serve a Black Dominant.

We also know that the number of Black Dominants (who are in this for other reasons than just role playing or sex) who are even present and available ONLINE are probably less than a hundred (an estimation based on surveys done on the most commonly used sites available).

What does that mean to the submissive that is genuinely seeking to serve (for reasons other than just sex)? Simple, it's a Dominant's market. We have our pick of subs to choose from so you have to STEP IT UP if you want to get the attention of the Black Dominant you are interested in.

Over the years, I have seen subs casually throw themselves out there and then wonder why nothing happens. What you don't know is that less and less Black Dominants are even interested in the "hassle" of training a submissive.

Submissives, here is most valuable advice you'll ever receive.... Always think "what can I offer Him?" or "What do I have to offer that He would find of value?" These are the type of questions We are seeking from you.

Serving, in my opinion, is the easiest damn job on the planet. You just do as you're told. It's the Dominant who has to take on the responsibility of ruling another human being and molding them to our satisfaction. If anyone has ever owned their own business, then you know the pain of dealing with clashing personalities. This Lifestyle is the same way. A lot of work goes into molding a submissive into what We want them to be. Give Us the respect We deserve and you'll be rewarded for your efforts.

I, for one, will not waste my time on someone who acts like I should thank the heavens that they are interested. I weed through garbage every day and occasionally find a gem amongst the lumps of worthless rocks... but not often.

Reality check... most Black Dominants are busy with their own lives. We want a sub who understand this and works to find a way to fit into our lives. Some of Us want full time slaves. Others just want a nice ass and mouth to fuck. And then there are those who prefer a part time situation where Domination and submission happens when a hookup is scheduled.

My challenge to all the submissives out there is make a better effort to knowing your role.

What does that mean? Let me break it down for you.

Your role is what you are willing to offer to a Black Dominant. This is something that should be offered up front where a Dominant has no question as to what your intentions are.

**Here are some examples of roles that subs can offer:**

1. Full or part time sex toy: this position serves the purpose of needing to offer ones body for a Black Dominants pleasure. The sub satisfies his needs by knowing he was responsible for his Dominant enjoying his sexual services. The expectation is sex only Domination.

**GOAL: To be used by a Black Man**

2. Full or part time servant: this position serves the purpose of offering ones full service to a Dominant. This includes both sexual and domestic. This always starts out as scheduled visits with the possibility of an upgrade to live-in status (depends entirely on what the Dominant wants). The expectation is overall service. Perfect for subs who only feel complete when they are fully utilized by a Black Dominant. The term "slave" should only be used once you have willingly given complete control over yourself to your Master. Not an easy goal as it requires alot of trust. That means trusting both yourself and your chosen Dominant (and vice versa).

**GOAL: To be owned by a Black Man**

3. Novice/First Timer: We all know you have to start somewhere and those who have only dreamed of what it would be like to serve or service a Black Dominant should approach Us as such. Be up front and honest about your inexperience and seek guidance, advice or friendship with a Black Dominant. You get what you put into it. Who knows, that Dominant may become your first time experience.

**GOAL: To be talked into submitting by a Black man.**

Lastly, there is the self-proclaimed submissive who is not a submissive at all. he is simply someone who fantasizes about being dominated but is too scared to take the next step. he stays in his comfort zone seeking pictures and videos of his sexual fantasies. he may even attempt to get a Black Dominant to cam or chat with him yet has no interest beyond that. Sadly, this is the most common type of role and the main reason We as Dominants get fed up with them wasting our time.

This only hurts real submissives who actually want the chance to serve. But there is a way for you to prove you are serious in your chosen role... COMMUNICATE! And to be specific... stop with the "hi" or "you are hot" emails and fucking talk about yourself! You have a very small window to make a first impression. To be taken seriously. Squander that and you lose Our interest.

*Know your role... know who you are before you seek to know someone else.*
**ADDENDUM POST: MAY 2013**

It's been a year since I posted "BS101: Knowing Your Role". I had joined a site called BMR only a week or so prior to posting it in May of 2012. My decision to create it was inspired by the "what are you looking for" options in the member profile for submissives.

From the various contacts I was getting, I had a feeling that most of them did not know what they were looking for. The sexually charged emails were the same as I received on other sites like Recon, Manhunt, CollarMe, Adam4Adam, etc. If I wanted a quick fuck, those other sites would serve a better purpose. So I thought about cancelling my membership. Lord knows all I needed was to be a member of yet another hookup site where "I worship BBC" is played like a broken record.

But then I received an email from a sub who approached me differently. Who had the intelligence to write more than one or two sentences telling me how much he wanted to suck or get fucked by my big black cock. I was intrigued enough to keep reading through the entire email.

The sub talked about how refreshing it was to see another real Dom on the site. That my words spoke to him. Although he lived far away, he wanted to know more about me. He had difficulty finding real Dominants who were comfortable with who they are and was on the verge of giving up altogether... until he came across my Forum posting.

We communicated back and forth for a couple weeks. I shared my blog URL with him as I had begun posting personal articles on it as well. We even chatted via Skype for videoconferencing. He was a good, respectful boy and never did anything that would be considered a waste of my time... which I appreciated greatly.

He got up the courage to ask if I was seeking a slave although he knew because of his career that he couldn't eventually relocate, so we discussed long-distance servitude. I really liked this sub. He did everything I told him to do without reservation or complaint. Even when there was an issue, he brought it to my attention immediately and we worked it out.

He more than passed my test so I decided to help him out by doing something I rarely do for subs whom I have never met in person...

Referred him to another Master who happened to live closer.

I gave my acquaintance a full rundown on my opinion of the sub and his viability as a potential new servant. It helped that our likes and dislikes were similar and the sub had a build that my friend enjoys as well. Compatibility didn't seem to be an issue so I arranged to have the two of them meet.

They hit it off just, as I expected, and the sub (as of December 2012) is now serving his new Master full time. They are both happy and are appreciative for my help in bringing them together.

Why am I sharing this? Continue reading and LEARN.

The sub "knew his role" and thus was able to convince me to spend the necessary time getting to know and trust him. And although distance was an issue for consideration of any kind of permanent ownership, I found him worthy enough to refer to another Dom.

Would I have done that for anyone else?

Hell no! Why would I? If a sub clearly doesn't know who he is or even feels comfortable in his role... why the hell would I subject another Dom to that? In this Lifestyle, half of the connections you make are through referrals. The other half is through reputation. **P**RESENTATION **I**S **E**VERYTHING. I think I have mentioned that before... in my circles, I call it the **P.I.E.** principle.

Most people enjoy a well-baked pie, right? Sweet potato pie, apple pie, pumpkin pie... at first sight or smell, you want to eat it up. However, would you still eat the pie if say... it looked half eaten (damaged)? Looked stale and moldy? Or simply was misrepresented as apple pie when in fact, it was rhubarb... and you HATE rhubarb?

I think you get my point.

We all have our favorites or preferences and seek to find the best possible matches to those preferences. That is why presentation is critically important. And that goes for how you represent yourself online.