When trying to meet people on the Internet, it goes without saying that you have to say something worthwhile to gain attention. But in the 20 years that the World WIde Web has become mainstream, it has gotten too generic.
Everyone sounds like everyone else. Catch phrases and slogans are overused to the point that they are a turnoff because we have gotten lazy. Very few of us actually know what it means to be "original".
The colorful art of being unique and one-of-a-kind is almost dead. Yes, sadly so. But... every so often, you come across someone who captures your interest long enough to read further than their stats or their pics.
That how it used to be. How it should be... if you are serious about creating that great first impression. If not, then continue to coast and emulate. Feast on the scraps of what you perceive to be as "good enough".
It works for most of us who don't know any better. But for others... they want more.
Finding a good sub or Dom is hard enough. Building a relationship with that sub or Dom is damn near difficult without establishing trust. But if you can't back up the claims you make with actions... you destroy that fragile trust.
And in many cases, you can never get it back.
No one ever thinks about the collateral damage lies and disrespect leaves in its wake.
Legions of potential Doms and subs left doubtful and suspicious of any good intentions or motives. This goes beyond just simply being cautious. Ruining any chances for the next person who has the sincerest of intentions to try and make up for the mistakes of others before him.
Once you've been burned, that kind of stink doesn't wash off with tomato juice... it lingers. Festers the mind with doubt and mistrust. Virtually destroying all hope of that Dom or sub allowing themselves to want more than what they feel is "safe".
Thus, the current cycle of mistrust is born and recycled. Over and over and over again.
The only way to stop this domino effect is to be true to your word(s). Even if you feel fear, don't take the cowards way out and bail (disappear). Stay. Talk it out and explain how you feel. You'd be surprised at the level of understanding you may receive in return. Most times, your counterpart may actually have the exact same fears as you do.
Novel concept isn't it?
Try it.
Actions speak louder than words... every single time.
That is so true, I think in todays world where we live or die by the internet it gotten harder to stand out, to make that impression you want someone to have of you, and the problem is compounded by players who dont even have the intention to meet anyone they just want it to satisfy their urges and perceived needs in the safety of their homes. and once you do stand out, can you be that original to make it count, we all have expectations and the problem seems to be the players have made the expectations a higher target for some. I always think the best way is to not get too sexual online and make a connection, talk, be open and honest and it will make things so much easier!
ReplyDeleteThat is a great observation, paul. Everyone has their ideal so the expectation portion is just something we all have to deal with but a smart person will learn to make exceptions when faced with someone who may not be perfect but comes close.
ReplyDeleteI always look at other factors to determine if its even worth my time... regardless of the visual. Our whole culture is based on sex and sexual domination/submission. But I get your point about at least attempting not to get too sexual online. Save it for real time or add it later after a repertoire has been established.
Times have changed but the Game remains the same... only now, there are more possibilities for reaching the end of it and winning.
Unfortunately, most people are still stuck on the first level.