Footprints In The Sand (1.10.14)

Celebrating 40 years.  I could think of no better way to spend part of it than on the beach.  Quiet moments like that always brings life into perspective for me.  No matter what we do or where we go... we always leave an impression.

B.B.C.

Those three letters can mean something completely different depending on what you are looking for. If you do not follow current web trends then it could easily stand for the British Broadcasting Corporation. I admit, that was what I initially thought it meant when I first saw it used. But sadly, whites have introduced yet another way to label Blacks.

Apparently, we are no longer Black men. We are only Big Black Cocks. Living dildos for whites to fantasize and lust after. What's even sadder is that some Black men have started to adopt this acronym as a way to get quick and easy sex. Throwing out their own pride in order to get a piece of ass. I come from a generation where we learned about our past and respected what those before us had to endure. So shit like this is UNACCEPTABLE to me.

I can't tell you how insulting it is to receive email or responses from subs whose first thought is to impress me with how much they love and worship BBC. Deep down I know they are like lemmings just using popular slang but if they can't say they enjoy serving Black men then they are no better than the Ku Klux Klan, in my opinion. That's the reaction I feel when the term BBC is directed at me. They might as well just say "I want some nigger dick" because that's exactly the level of respect they are giving when it's used.

I don't have any slang terms for whites. They are just white subs, white men, white boys, white bottoms. Their ass and penises are still asses and penises. 30-40 years ago, there was the term "cracker" but who uses that anymore? Why the fuck do Blacks have to be labeled YET AGAIN? And what's even worse is why do subs who claim to love Black men feel the need to use a term that is obviously a lazy way of saying I love big black dick? Because it's the trend like LOL? Well, this black man is not laughing out loud.

I'm sure there are probably more sides to this but I don't see any. No one has come out and explained it. When I have inquired in the past, the common answers were "I don't know" or "Everybody else uses it so I did to".

Wow....

Please feel free to reply and share your opinion on this topic. Whether to defend or to add you own take. I am always open to different intelligent viewpoints.

What I Look For In A Submissive

 

What I look for in a submissive...

In order to learn, you must listen...

All of my life, I have known I was different. I looked at life differently. Relationships differently. The little intricacies that make a person who they are stand out for me... while flying right over everyone else's head. I would often wonder why I never felt the conventional idea of marriage and kids never clicked with me. The American dream is one made of up misconceptions about what will make you happy with your life. I knew this at age 18.

As a kid, I used to fantasize about being a king and would pretend to go through life with servants who would attend to my every desire and whim. When opening a door, I would imagine someone opening it for me. If I was eating, I'd imagine having an attendant cut up my food and refill my drink. And when I was in bed... I'd imagine having my feet massaged and kissed. My shoulders and back massaged... basically having every creature comfort covered.

I wouldn't have to ask or want for anything, it was offered as if they knew me and what I wanted... needed. Their focused attention on me provided me with a sense of power and happiness. I enjoyed being the center of attention and knowing that seeing I was happy made them happy. Of course, reality would always set in and I would have to step back into it and navigate the myriad of emotional dysfunction that was... everyone else. With the occasional exception.

"Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements... even if it leads nowhere?" - Adele 

I like that verse from the song, Chasing Pavements. When I heard it for the first time, I found immediate kinship. It relates to my search for love on a level that I feel I deserve.  I have been a source of comfort and advice to many different people throughout my life including those in the Lifestyle. I don't mind that role as it is a positive influence that can change lives. I always feel I play a small role as the only thing I do is steer people onto the path I see would be the best route to go. I do understand that not everyone can see that for themselves.

The Lifestyle allows me to define any relationship I make on my terms. My slave, partner is one who can match with those terms. Whether naturally (preferred) or by learning to conform. It is rare when you meet someone who shares so many of your own interests and likes. More times than not, they are either already in a relationship or only destined to be in your life for a short period of time.

I have had successful relationships in the past but I feel I was too young to really appreciate them... which is why they ended. It was usually me who ended them. Having 20 years of my adult life behind me, I know what I need now. In the past, I only knew what I wanted. The thing with getting what you want is... it's empty once accomplished. When you finally get what you need, it is a unique experience where you feel a wide array of emotions. Heart pounding excitement, daydreams about what life would be like with that person, and constant thoughts about that person and how they make you feel.

I have always been independent and the "strong one" for everyone else. Too often, I yearn to have someone take care of me for once. I fall victim to the idea that as a Master, I don't need emotional support. I can provide it for myself. If that was true then psychiatrists and counselors would be out business. Sometimes, the Master needs to take a break or vacation from that role. We are, after all, human.

I look for a submissive who can appeal to me physically as well as emotionally. I strongly believe that together it forms a bond early as there is nothing you have to wait for such as transforming ones body. If the attraction is there in the beginning... it's all uphill from there and in a good way.

I look for a submissive who wants to get to know me. Following orders is what a slave is supposed to do. But seeking to get to know me is something I cannot order.. it has to be something the sub wants to do. It's something I wait for and usually never comes. I don't fault people for being focused on their own wants and needs. But this is why conventional relationships tend to end in breakups or divorce. Those who stay together seek to find out what their partner needs. Sounds simple but many people mistake wants for needs and there is a big difference.

I look for a submissive who strives to keep the connection alive. Once a sub enters a relationship with his Dominant, things tend to become "comfortable" where the effort to please starts to become too routine and automated. Keeping the connection alive and fresh means continuing to show appreciation for the opportunity to serve and for being accepted in the first place. Never take what you have for granted.

I look for a submissive who is open minded enough to focus more on what I find pleasurable compared to how they feel about it. Many subs don't realize that when they selflessly participate in something that they would rather not do just because they wish to please their Master... their sacrifice is noticed. More times than not, the outcome will favor both parties.

I look for a submissive who knows his place yet can easily slip into various roles depending on the situation. Even better if the sub can clearly see that the roles are not roles at all. They are simply different aspects of the same person.

I look for a sub who is the jealous type... not the psychotic, possessive type of jealousy but the constructive kind. When he recognizes I appreciate someone else that prompts him to want that appreciation for himself. And will do what he can to get it. At the same time, he knows that he is loved and valued yet still strives to be everything for his Master.

I look for a submissive who wants to be everything for me. Someone who will put me first. Who wants to put me first. Who needs to put me first. Sometimes, that kind of connection takes time to build up. Other times, it just happens. In either case, when you find a connection to someone that just feels "right"; even though you can't explain it... whatever you do, DON'T fear it, EMBRACE it.

The Black Students Who Wouldn't Leave the Lunch Counter

The "Greensboro Four" re-enact their 1960 lunch counter sit-in on February 2, 1990. Franklin McCain,  third from left, died on January 10, 2013. (Chuck Burton/Associated Press)

ANDREW COHEN  JAN 10 2014, 2:54 PM ET

What happened in Greensboro, North Carolina on February 1, 1960, took even John Lewis by surprise. In his memoir, Walking With the Wind, the future civil rights icon (whose most intense days at the head of the movement were yet ahead of him as that decade began) recounted the episode:

There were four guys in Greensboro, all of them freshman at North Carolina A&T College. They had no plan, no preparation. One of them had read that FOR comic book about King and Montgomery, they had begun talking about the process of nonviolent action, and on this particular afternoon they simply decided it was time for them to do something.

Which they did, taking four seats late that day at the whites-only lunch counter of Greensboro's downtown Woolworth's store and touching off what would come to be called the sit-in movement across the South. It happened so spontaneously, so suddenly, that the next morning's newspapers contained no accounts of the incident.

One of those brave students was Franklin McCain, who died Thursday at the age of 72. In its obituary Friday, the Charlotte Observer recounted this story, which offers some insight into McCain's motivations:

In an Observer story in 2010, on the 50th anniversary of the sit-in, McCain said he had been told by his parents and grandparents that if they followed the Bill of Rights, Constitution and Ten Commandments, and if they worked hard and helped others, they had a good chance of success. “The system still betrayed us,” McCain said. “I considered myself as part of the big lie. All four of us did.”

And the University of North Carolina at Greensboro has available an old audio interview with McCain and one of his fellow protestors, Jibreel Khazan, who offered this nuance about the events of those days:

It was really designed to be carried out at the Woolworth lunch counter originally. But I remember Frank making a statement as the protest developed during the week. We didn't want to put the world on fire, we just wanted to eat. But behind it, we, I feel, did have the idea that this would catch on. We were hoping it would catch on and it would spread throughout the country, but it went even beyond our wildest imagination.

After he helped integrate the nation's lunch counters, after he helped spark the civil rights revolution of the 1960s, after he and his friends acted while others were still only pondering whether they should act, McCain dutifully completed his undergraduate work with a degree in chemistry and biology and spent three decades working as a chemist and raising a family in Charlotte. And, blessedly, he lived long enough to see the state that once had segregated him honor him.

There are several excellent pieces online about this man's life and times and at least a few nice tributes to him in death. The best by far comes from NPR in a piece put together Friday morning by Mark Memmott. NPR, in turn, cites the work of its local affiliate, WUNC, which offers an audio recollection by McCain on the events of that fateful day. Please do check out those links but here is the heart of the story:

On February 1, 1960 McCain and his classmates walked into the store, purchased some items and then walked over to the segregated counter. McCain recalls:

Fifteen seconds after I sat on that stool, I had the most wonderful feeling. I had a feeling of liberation, restored manhood; I had a natural high. And I truly felt almost invincible.

He hadn't even asked for service. When McCain and the others did they were denied. A manager told them they weren't welcome, a police officer patted his hand with his night stick. The tension grew but it never turned violent.

As McCain and the others continued to sit at the counter, an older white woman who had been observing the scene walked up behind him:

And she whispered in a calm voice, 'boys, I'm so proud of you'.

McCain says he was stunned:

What I learned from that little incident was don't you ever, ever stereotype anybody in this life until you at least experience them and have the opportunity to talk to them.

Woolworth's closed early and the four men returned to campus with empty stomachs and no idea about what they had just started. The next day another 20 students joined them and 300 came out by the end of the week. Word of the sit-ins spread by newspapers and demonstrations began in Winston-Salem, Durham, Asheville and Wilmington; within 2 months of the initial sit-in, 54 cities in nine different states had movements of their own. The Greensboro lunch counter desegregated six months later.

McCain and his three colleagues were heroes in the old-fashioned, soldier's sense of the word: Sick of their situation, unwilling any longer to tolerate it, fearing the cost of inaction less than the cost of action, they stood up and went over the top, out into battle.

Rules of Engagement

There is a right way and WRONG way of approaching a Dominant, like myself. Many subs come off as aggressive and almost demand to be subjugated. Whether that is frustration or impatience, I don't know nor care... that bullshit is not tolerated and will get your email or contact DELETED or IGNORED. That's right. I won't even bother with a reply since you didn't bother to show respect.

The key rule of thumb to reference: What do you have to offer?

If you can't answer that simple question then you have no business approaching me or any Dominant for that matter.

Other points to consider when approaching me...

• If seeking servitude, know that I favor full service servants. That includes domestic in addition to sexual duties. The only exception would be those who wish to provide hospitality if I happen to be visiting their city/country (Travel Hosts). Servitude in that case would be temporary, thus exempt.

 

• If seeking to be used sexually ONLY, you better be offering a body that is built for pleasure. That means having a visually appealing, rounded ass or better.  Something I can find value in for the limited service you are offering.  Or at least look like you spend some time in the gym to look fuckable.  Just being real here.  If all you have to offer is sex, whether as a quick hookup or whatever, then you need to be able to compete with every other sub bottom out there seeking the exact same thing.

 

• Don't start off first contact with a simple one-liner like "Hi, how are you?" or "Hey Sir, how is your week going?".  Or worse, think that I would be impressed that you love and crave "BBC".  If you attempt to come at me casually like that... that's exactly how I'll treat my reply back... casually. Meaning, no interest. This is fine if all you are doing is acknowledging, giving a compliment, seeking advice... but not seeking to serve.  Would you go to an important job interview without your resume?  I didn't think so.

 

• If you are not immediately local where an in-person meeting can take place, then you better have more than one photo available to view (or email) to give me some perspective on what you look like. Stats are never enough and can not be verified. Photos never lie... unless the person in them is not you or some old photo taken 10 years prior.  In this modern age, video conferencing is free with programs like Skype and Google Hangout.  This means that interviewing via webcam would become necessary and expected if unable to travel.

 

• Be prepared to take some time to write a decent introduction as to who you are, what you are looking for, and why you are approaching me. A Dominant prefers to hear why a sub wants to be accepted by him. It can't be random... it has to mean something to you to make it significant and worth spending our time on.  An opportunity to gain and KEEP our interest is terrible thing to waste.

 

• DO NOT APPROACH ME (ABOUT SERVING) IF YOU ARE ALREADY TALKING TO ANOTHER DOMINANT! BE RESPECTFUL AND FOCUS ON THAT CONNECTION FIRST. And don't think I won't find out. I WILL FIND OUT. Be free from all attachments (excluding friendship) with other Doms when approaching. I deserve, nothing less than, 100% of your attention.

Black Sovereign is more than just a screen name. It is who I am. First and foremost, sovereign over my own life and everything around me. My grandmother taught me to never accept less than what I deserve which means I expect only the best. My family has an underground history of Black rule and although I chose not to go with tradition, I know that there are naturals out there in society that will seek me out and show me they want a once in a lifetime chance to become who they were born to be...

I've been in the Lifestyle for the better part of 20 years now.  Just turned 40 today.

Every Black Dominant is his own man. I am definitely mine and it would be in your best interest to approach me as a clean slate. You will fail if you approach me otherwise.

Be confident in what you are offering.  It's not enough to want to serve... you must "need" it to be worthy of any investment of time to mold you.

 

---

These are my Rules of Engagement.  As with anything I choose to share freely online,  it is multi-purpose advice I hope you will and have learned from.

Is it okay to love your Dominant/Master?

Of course, it is okay. More than okay. It is inevitable that you would have those feelings. A great amount of trust and attraction goes into giving your loyalty and devotion to a Dominant. There is no way that you can avoid having romantic feelings at some point... but you have to be able to handle them.

When my second slave fell in love with me, it complicated things because he started to forget his role. He started wanting a vanilla relationship where both parties are equal. That is not what I want at all. Tried the vanilla way a few times and it didn't work out. I like the comfort of knowing my role and what to expect.

I do care a great deal about my slaves but that develops over time as trust is built. Once I know that my slave has my back and that I can trust him with my life... only then will I allow myself to feel more and invest emotionally.

My slave had to learn that it was okay to be in love with me but not to expect more than what I want out of the relationship. As long as the focus is serving and contributing to my happiness then all the rest will fall into place on its own.
You can have a loving relationship with a Dominant within the context of your original agreement for service. It will just be a different kind of love. In many cases, one more stable than the conventional one.

As with any relationship... there will be bumps along the road that will make you question your decision to serve. What you have to reconcile is your need to serve with your need to be happy.

... and yes, the two can coexist. Although one would think the opportunity to serve would satisfy all quadrants.

**(in response to a question from an online contact)**

 

*UPDATE: Found this old email from a sub who approached me for service and had a question about my blog post. He pointed out that I answered the question from a sub/slave's point of view but not my own. Here is my response:*

"And your question about my blog post about love... is a fair question. One I purposely did not answer as the post was about whether or not it was okay to feel love from the submissive's perspective.

I'm curious to know why it scared you. But I feel I know why. Each Master is different. We all want different things although some of us share the same desires. My view on love in a M/s relationship is this... it is inevitable. I do love my slaves. How can you not? A slave is the one thing in your life you have complete control over. The one person whom you can share everything with and know they have your back. I tend to feel love for my permanent slaves but that's mainly because I feel deeply for anyone who is able to give me what I need. It's not a "I think you are on the same level as I am" kind of love, no. It's more like what a true union is supposed to be like.

You are happy in your role and I happy in mine.

We share mutual respect and love for one another and gain the added benefit of security in knowing we want to be there.

Oddly enough, many relationships are broken from the beginning because they don't feel that level of a connection. How do you marry or link your life to someone you have little to no respect for? Or better yet, has little to no respect for their own life?

Just something to think about and I hope that answered your question. Love is a tricky subject as it's always fresh, new and different with each individual. But knowing myself... if someone came into my life and wanted to be everything for me within the context of this Lifestyle, I could see myself letting that person in. It would be inevitable anyway."

**The Master/slave relationship is the strongest bond out there once established. The strength of such a bond can never been known, until it is tested.**

Conversation with an Idiot

**Original post: November 25, 2012**

 

*This conversation took place on a black domination site I was a member on.*

**bigaltoronto (one hour ago):** I have seen your profile. You seem to be very popular. I love getting my ass fucked by big black cock. What do you like to get into? I'm new on this website. Do you know any dominant black "top" contacts in Toronto, in Canada?

**Blacksovereign (one hour ago):** If you are seeking to be used then you need to present yourself that way. I took a look at your profile and saw nothing. Any interest died there. You looked at my profile, what did you see?

If you wish to be used sexually then you need to do a better job at advertising yourself with MORE details about what you are offering. Specifically more photos of yourself to GET US INTERESTED. Just a simple profile photo does nothing to entice anyone to want to fuck you or even refer you to others who may live in your area.

Presentation is everything when seeking connections online. That is why I seem very popular... and why you contacted me.

**bigaltoronto (5 minutes ago):** I'm sorry I wasted my time contacting you. You sound like a very demanding and very ignorant person.

**Blacksovereign (within 1 minute):** I'm sorry you wasted my time too. Be careful about how you word your responses. All I did was give you advice in how to get a Black man to become interested in you. If you took that as ignorant then you need to rethink your membership to a site about Black Domination.