What is the big deal about marriage and protecting it? Oh yeah, it's a holy sacrament in the eyes of God, right? WRONG.
Marriage has and will always be primarily about financial gain. Or must everyone forget that women didn't have any rights until just recently. Back then, women were no better than slaves and families made arrangements to marry them off so that the families could merge. A dowery(sp?) was needed in order to seal the deal. Most didn't marry until there was so kind of financial advantage to it, usually over real estate.
Not much has changed. Married people benefit from a slew of tax cuts and advantages. And add children to the mix and you have one pretty awesome tax shelter. And I honestly believe that conservatives are more worried about anyone being able to benefit than about the sanctity of an institution that allows you to thumb your nose up at God by breaking your vows.
How so? Glad you asked... remember the age old verse of "through thick and thin, until death do us part"? I don't know about you but that sounds like a life-long commitment that you just made to God to be together NO MATTER WHAT. So if marriage is so damn sacred, why do we tolerate divorce? Isn't that saying that you don't respect God and that you lied to "Him" and are only thinking about yourself?
How selfish and hypocritical to use God as a basis for your argument when you don't address the bigger issue... preserving the sanctity of marriage by abolishing DIVORCE!
Quite frankly, I believe that if you make marriage a life-long condition instead of allowing people to marry and divorce at will... you will see alot less people gay or straight wanting to marry. And that is a good thing as marriage is about love. Not lust and blinding passion that wanes a few days, weeks or months after tying the knot.
Would you just headlong into marriage knowing that you couldn't get out of it once the deed was done?
That would solve a host of problems like: marriages of convenience (green card, tax benefits, etc.), drunken/spur of the moment marriages for fun, and not respecting the institution as a life changing and permanently binding event.
If you took divorce out of it and made it the true sacrament of life-long partnership that it should be... you could see a big change in the number of people who just get married because of some misguided since of inevitability.
People would probably take that extra time to live together first so to really get to know their loved one before taking that "final" step.
On the other hand, you could see some people take the "death do us part" thing seriously and take matters into their own hands. I won't elaborate as you know what I'm referring to.
My main point is... you can't expect the public to take a religious argument against allowing gay people to marry without proving that it is an institution based on respect for God and his supposed will. Take away divorce and I'll respect that point of view.
Until then, marriage is good business sense and I think everyone should be able to benefit from it. I don't see a break down of civilization, as we know it, because we allowed two women or men to marry so that they can support their families (children, keeping property after death, etc.).
Hell, with the high rate of divorce among the gays that did marry... I don't think conservatives/religious right have anything to worry about. That in itself should show that it doesn't matter who you are... you all experience the same trials that come with marriage and use divorce as a quick fix.
Would you get married knowing that you couldn't get out of it if something went wrong?
Takes the novelty right out of it doesn't it? And that's my point. Fix marriage and this debate becomes a mute point, in my opinion.
For the record, I believe in marriage and was fortunate enough to be able to watch my parents stick together through their trials and tribulations. They fell in love, then out of love... then back in love again, leading me to believe that love comes and goes in cycles. Just stick together long enough and you will find your way back to that love. Think about it, if people just stayed together instead of breaking up... only to get back together later anyway, you will find this to be true.
You can "separate" yet stay married and committed. Communication is the key to fixing any problem. It's the most simple thing yet so hard for most people. And it goes for everything from taking care of your partner (sex, romance, etc.) regardless of whether you are "in the mood" or not to little things like leaving the toilet seat up. Compromise is a MUST. Without it, you are doomed to fail. It's never just about you. That's selfish. YOU do not exist in a marriage... it's WE.
Adhere to that and marriage becomes what it should be... a holy union that can weather anything.
This post was originally published in 2005
The Black Sovereign Journal | Marriage
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