Footprints In The Sand (1.10.14)

Celebrating 40 years.  I could think of no better way to spend part of it than on the beach.  Quiet moments like that always brings life into perspective for me.  No matter what we do or where we go... we always leave an impression.

B.B.C.

Those three letters can mean something completely different depending on what you are looking for. If you do not follow current web trends then it could easily stand for the British Broadcasting Corporation. I admit, that was what I initially thought it meant when I first saw it used. But sadly, whites have introduced yet another way to label Blacks.

Apparently, we are no longer Black men. We are only Big Black Cocks. Living dildos for whites to fantasize and lust after. What's even sadder is that some Black men have started to adopt this acronym as a way to get quick and easy sex. Throwing out their own pride in order to get a piece of ass. I come from a generation where we learned about our past and respected what those before us had to endure. So shit like this is UNACCEPTABLE to me.

I can't tell you how insulting it is to receive email or responses from subs whose first thought is to impress me with how much they love and worship BBC. Deep down I know they are like lemmings just using popular slang but if they can't say they enjoy serving Black men then they are no better than the Ku Klux Klan, in my opinion. That's the reaction I feel when the term BBC is directed at me. They might as well just say "I want some nigger dick" because that's exactly the level of respect they are giving when it's used.

I don't have any slang terms for whites. They are just white subs, white men, white boys, white bottoms. Their ass and penises are still asses and penises. 30-40 years ago, there was the term "cracker" but who uses that anymore? Why the fuck do Blacks have to be labeled YET AGAIN? And what's even worse is why do subs who claim to love Black men feel the need to use a term that is obviously a lazy way of saying I love big black dick? Because it's the trend like LOL? Well, this black man is not laughing out loud.

I'm sure there are probably more sides to this but I don't see any. No one has come out and explained it. When I have inquired in the past, the common answers were "I don't know" or "Everybody else uses it so I did to".

Wow....

Please feel free to reply and share your opinion on this topic. Whether to defend or to add you own take. I am always open to different intelligent viewpoints.

What I Look For In A Submissive

 

What I look for in a submissive...

In order to learn, you must listen...

All of my life, I have known I was different. I looked at life differently. Relationships differently. The little intricacies that make a person who they are stand out for me... while flying right over everyone else's head. I would often wonder why I never felt the conventional idea of marriage and kids never clicked with me. The American dream is one made of up misconceptions about what will make you happy with your life. I knew this at age 18.

As a kid, I used to fantasize about being a king and would pretend to go through life with servants who would attend to my every desire and whim. When opening a door, I would imagine someone opening it for me. If I was eating, I'd imagine having an attendant cut up my food and refill my drink. And when I was in bed... I'd imagine having my feet massaged and kissed. My shoulders and back massaged... basically having every creature comfort covered.

I wouldn't have to ask or want for anything, it was offered as if they knew me and what I wanted... needed. Their focused attention on me provided me with a sense of power and happiness. I enjoyed being the center of attention and knowing that seeing I was happy made them happy. Of course, reality would always set in and I would have to step back into it and navigate the myriad of emotional dysfunction that was... everyone else. With the occasional exception.

"Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements... even if it leads nowhere?" - Adele 

I like that verse from the song, Chasing Pavements. When I heard it for the first time, I found immediate kinship. It relates to my search for love on a level that I feel I deserve.  I have been a source of comfort and advice to many different people throughout my life including those in the Lifestyle. I don't mind that role as it is a positive influence that can change lives. I always feel I play a small role as the only thing I do is steer people onto the path I see would be the best route to go. I do understand that not everyone can see that for themselves.

The Lifestyle allows me to define any relationship I make on my terms. My slave, partner is one who can match with those terms. Whether naturally (preferred) or by learning to conform. It is rare when you meet someone who shares so many of your own interests and likes. More times than not, they are either already in a relationship or only destined to be in your life for a short period of time.

I have had successful relationships in the past but I feel I was too young to really appreciate them... which is why they ended. It was usually me who ended them. Having 20 years of my adult life behind me, I know what I need now. In the past, I only knew what I wanted. The thing with getting what you want is... it's empty once accomplished. When you finally get what you need, it is a unique experience where you feel a wide array of emotions. Heart pounding excitement, daydreams about what life would be like with that person, and constant thoughts about that person and how they make you feel.

I have always been independent and the "strong one" for everyone else. Too often, I yearn to have someone take care of me for once. I fall victim to the idea that as a Master, I don't need emotional support. I can provide it for myself. If that was true then psychiatrists and counselors would be out business. Sometimes, the Master needs to take a break or vacation from that role. We are, after all, human.

I look for a submissive who can appeal to me physically as well as emotionally. I strongly believe that together it forms a bond early as there is nothing you have to wait for such as transforming ones body. If the attraction is there in the beginning... it's all uphill from there and in a good way.

I look for a submissive who wants to get to know me. Following orders is what a slave is supposed to do. But seeking to get to know me is something I cannot order.. it has to be something the sub wants to do. It's something I wait for and usually never comes. I don't fault people for being focused on their own wants and needs. But this is why conventional relationships tend to end in breakups or divorce. Those who stay together seek to find out what their partner needs. Sounds simple but many people mistake wants for needs and there is a big difference.

I look for a submissive who strives to keep the connection alive. Once a sub enters a relationship with his Dominant, things tend to become "comfortable" where the effort to please starts to become too routine and automated. Keeping the connection alive and fresh means continuing to show appreciation for the opportunity to serve and for being accepted in the first place. Never take what you have for granted.

I look for a submissive who is open minded enough to focus more on what I find pleasurable compared to how they feel about it. Many subs don't realize that when they selflessly participate in something that they would rather not do just because they wish to please their Master... their sacrifice is noticed. More times than not, the outcome will favor both parties.

I look for a submissive who knows his place yet can easily slip into various roles depending on the situation. Even better if the sub can clearly see that the roles are not roles at all. They are simply different aspects of the same person.

I look for a sub who is the jealous type... not the psychotic, possessive type of jealousy but the constructive kind. When he recognizes I appreciate someone else that prompts him to want that appreciation for himself. And will do what he can to get it. At the same time, he knows that he is loved and valued yet still strives to be everything for his Master.

I look for a submissive who wants to be everything for me. Someone who will put me first. Who wants to put me first. Who needs to put me first. Sometimes, that kind of connection takes time to build up. Other times, it just happens. In either case, when you find a connection to someone that just feels "right"; even though you can't explain it... whatever you do, DON'T fear it, EMBRACE it.

The Black Students Who Wouldn't Leave the Lunch Counter

The "Greensboro Four" re-enact their 1960 lunch counter sit-in on February 2, 1990. Franklin McCain,  third from left, died on January 10, 2013. (Chuck Burton/Associated Press)

ANDREW COHEN  JAN 10 2014, 2:54 PM ET

What happened in Greensboro, North Carolina on February 1, 1960, took even John Lewis by surprise. In his memoir, Walking With the Wind, the future civil rights icon (whose most intense days at the head of the movement were yet ahead of him as that decade began) recounted the episode:

There were four guys in Greensboro, all of them freshman at North Carolina A&T College. They had no plan, no preparation. One of them had read that FOR comic book about King and Montgomery, they had begun talking about the process of nonviolent action, and on this particular afternoon they simply decided it was time for them to do something.

Which they did, taking four seats late that day at the whites-only lunch counter of Greensboro's downtown Woolworth's store and touching off what would come to be called the sit-in movement across the South. It happened so spontaneously, so suddenly, that the next morning's newspapers contained no accounts of the incident.

One of those brave students was Franklin McCain, who died Thursday at the age of 72. In its obituary Friday, the Charlotte Observer recounted this story, which offers some insight into McCain's motivations:

In an Observer story in 2010, on the 50th anniversary of the sit-in, McCain said he had been told by his parents and grandparents that if they followed the Bill of Rights, Constitution and Ten Commandments, and if they worked hard and helped others, they had a good chance of success. “The system still betrayed us,” McCain said. “I considered myself as part of the big lie. All four of us did.”

And the University of North Carolina at Greensboro has available an old audio interview with McCain and one of his fellow protestors, Jibreel Khazan, who offered this nuance about the events of those days:

It was really designed to be carried out at the Woolworth lunch counter originally. But I remember Frank making a statement as the protest developed during the week. We didn't want to put the world on fire, we just wanted to eat. But behind it, we, I feel, did have the idea that this would catch on. We were hoping it would catch on and it would spread throughout the country, but it went even beyond our wildest imagination.

After he helped integrate the nation's lunch counters, after he helped spark the civil rights revolution of the 1960s, after he and his friends acted while others were still only pondering whether they should act, McCain dutifully completed his undergraduate work with a degree in chemistry and biology and spent three decades working as a chemist and raising a family in Charlotte. And, blessedly, he lived long enough to see the state that once had segregated him honor him.

There are several excellent pieces online about this man's life and times and at least a few nice tributes to him in death. The best by far comes from NPR in a piece put together Friday morning by Mark Memmott. NPR, in turn, cites the work of its local affiliate, WUNC, which offers an audio recollection by McCain on the events of that fateful day. Please do check out those links but here is the heart of the story:

On February 1, 1960 McCain and his classmates walked into the store, purchased some items and then walked over to the segregated counter. McCain recalls:

Fifteen seconds after I sat on that stool, I had the most wonderful feeling. I had a feeling of liberation, restored manhood; I had a natural high. And I truly felt almost invincible.

He hadn't even asked for service. When McCain and the others did they were denied. A manager told them they weren't welcome, a police officer patted his hand with his night stick. The tension grew but it never turned violent.

As McCain and the others continued to sit at the counter, an older white woman who had been observing the scene walked up behind him:

And she whispered in a calm voice, 'boys, I'm so proud of you'.

McCain says he was stunned:

What I learned from that little incident was don't you ever, ever stereotype anybody in this life until you at least experience them and have the opportunity to talk to them.

Woolworth's closed early and the four men returned to campus with empty stomachs and no idea about what they had just started. The next day another 20 students joined them and 300 came out by the end of the week. Word of the sit-ins spread by newspapers and demonstrations began in Winston-Salem, Durham, Asheville and Wilmington; within 2 months of the initial sit-in, 54 cities in nine different states had movements of their own. The Greensboro lunch counter desegregated six months later.

McCain and his three colleagues were heroes in the old-fashioned, soldier's sense of the word: Sick of their situation, unwilling any longer to tolerate it, fearing the cost of inaction less than the cost of action, they stood up and went over the top, out into battle.

Rules of Engagement

There is a right way and WRONG way of approaching a Dominant, like myself. Many subs come off as aggressive and almost demand to be subjugated. Whether that is frustration or impatience, I don't know nor care... that bullshit is not tolerated and will get your email or contact DELETED or IGNORED. That's right. I won't even bother with a reply since you didn't bother to show respect.

The key rule of thumb to reference: What do you have to offer?

If you can't answer that simple question then you have no business approaching me or any Dominant for that matter.

Other points to consider when approaching me...

• If seeking servitude, know that I favor full service servants. That includes domestic in addition to sexual duties. The only exception would be those who wish to provide hospitality if I happen to be visiting their city/country (Travel Hosts). Servitude in that case would be temporary, thus exempt.

 

• If seeking to be used sexually ONLY, you better be offering a body that is built for pleasure. That means having a visually appealing, rounded ass or better.  Something I can find value in for the limited service you are offering.  Or at least look like you spend some time in the gym to look fuckable.  Just being real here.  If all you have to offer is sex, whether as a quick hookup or whatever, then you need to be able to compete with every other sub bottom out there seeking the exact same thing.

 

• Don't start off first contact with a simple one-liner like "Hi, how are you?" or "Hey Sir, how is your week going?".  Or worse, think that I would be impressed that you love and crave "BBC".  If you attempt to come at me casually like that... that's exactly how I'll treat my reply back... casually. Meaning, no interest. This is fine if all you are doing is acknowledging, giving a compliment, seeking advice... but not seeking to serve.  Would you go to an important job interview without your resume?  I didn't think so.

 

• If you are not immediately local where an in-person meeting can take place, then you better have more than one photo available to view (or email) to give me some perspective on what you look like. Stats are never enough and can not be verified. Photos never lie... unless the person in them is not you or some old photo taken 10 years prior.  In this modern age, video conferencing is free with programs like Skype and Google Hangout.  This means that interviewing via webcam would become necessary and expected if unable to travel.

 

• Be prepared to take some time to write a decent introduction as to who you are, what you are looking for, and why you are approaching me. A Dominant prefers to hear why a sub wants to be accepted by him. It can't be random... it has to mean something to you to make it significant and worth spending our time on.  An opportunity to gain and KEEP our interest is terrible thing to waste.

 

• DO NOT APPROACH ME (ABOUT SERVING) IF YOU ARE ALREADY TALKING TO ANOTHER DOMINANT! BE RESPECTFUL AND FOCUS ON THAT CONNECTION FIRST. And don't think I won't find out. I WILL FIND OUT. Be free from all attachments (excluding friendship) with other Doms when approaching. I deserve, nothing less than, 100% of your attention.

Black Sovereign is more than just a screen name. It is who I am. First and foremost, sovereign over my own life and everything around me. My grandmother taught me to never accept less than what I deserve which means I expect only the best. My family has an underground history of Black rule and although I chose not to go with tradition, I know that there are naturals out there in society that will seek me out and show me they want a once in a lifetime chance to become who they were born to be...

I've been in the Lifestyle for the better part of 20 years now.  Just turned 40 today.

Every Black Dominant is his own man. I am definitely mine and it would be in your best interest to approach me as a clean slate. You will fail if you approach me otherwise.

Be confident in what you are offering.  It's not enough to want to serve... you must "need" it to be worthy of any investment of time to mold you.

 

---

These are my Rules of Engagement.  As with anything I choose to share freely online,  it is multi-purpose advice I hope you will and have learned from.

Is it okay to love your Dominant/Master?

Of course, it is okay. More than okay. It is inevitable that you would have those feelings. A great amount of trust and attraction goes into giving your loyalty and devotion to a Dominant. There is no way that you can avoid having romantic feelings at some point... but you have to be able to handle them.

When my second slave fell in love with me, it complicated things because he started to forget his role. He started wanting a vanilla relationship where both parties are equal. That is not what I want at all. Tried the vanilla way a few times and it didn't work out. I like the comfort of knowing my role and what to expect.

I do care a great deal about my slaves but that develops over time as trust is built. Once I know that my slave has my back and that I can trust him with my life... only then will I allow myself to feel more and invest emotionally.

My slave had to learn that it was okay to be in love with me but not to expect more than what I want out of the relationship. As long as the focus is serving and contributing to my happiness then all the rest will fall into place on its own.
You can have a loving relationship with a Dominant within the context of your original agreement for service. It will just be a different kind of love. In many cases, one more stable than the conventional one.

As with any relationship... there will be bumps along the road that will make you question your decision to serve. What you have to reconcile is your need to serve with your need to be happy.

... and yes, the two can coexist. Although one would think the opportunity to serve would satisfy all quadrants.

**(in response to a question from an online contact)**

 

*UPDATE: Found this old email from a sub who approached me for service and had a question about my blog post. He pointed out that I answered the question from a sub/slave's point of view but not my own. Here is my response:*

"And your question about my blog post about love... is a fair question. One I purposely did not answer as the post was about whether or not it was okay to feel love from the submissive's perspective.

I'm curious to know why it scared you. But I feel I know why. Each Master is different. We all want different things although some of us share the same desires. My view on love in a M/s relationship is this... it is inevitable. I do love my slaves. How can you not? A slave is the one thing in your life you have complete control over. The one person whom you can share everything with and know they have your back. I tend to feel love for my permanent slaves but that's mainly because I feel deeply for anyone who is able to give me what I need. It's not a "I think you are on the same level as I am" kind of love, no. It's more like what a true union is supposed to be like.

You are happy in your role and I happy in mine.

We share mutual respect and love for one another and gain the added benefit of security in knowing we want to be there.

Oddly enough, many relationships are broken from the beginning because they don't feel that level of a connection. How do you marry or link your life to someone you have little to no respect for? Or better yet, has little to no respect for their own life?

Just something to think about and I hope that answered your question. Love is a tricky subject as it's always fresh, new and different with each individual. But knowing myself... if someone came into my life and wanted to be everything for me within the context of this Lifestyle, I could see myself letting that person in. It would be inevitable anyway."

**The Master/slave relationship is the strongest bond out there once established. The strength of such a bond can never been known, until it is tested.**

Conversation with an Idiot

**Original post: November 25, 2012**

 

*This conversation took place on a black domination site I was a member on.*

**bigaltoronto (one hour ago):** I have seen your profile. You seem to be very popular. I love getting my ass fucked by big black cock. What do you like to get into? I'm new on this website. Do you know any dominant black "top" contacts in Toronto, in Canada?

**Blacksovereign (one hour ago):** If you are seeking to be used then you need to present yourself that way. I took a look at your profile and saw nothing. Any interest died there. You looked at my profile, what did you see?

If you wish to be used sexually then you need to do a better job at advertising yourself with MORE details about what you are offering. Specifically more photos of yourself to GET US INTERESTED. Just a simple profile photo does nothing to entice anyone to want to fuck you or even refer you to others who may live in your area.

Presentation is everything when seeking connections online. That is why I seem very popular... and why you contacted me.

**bigaltoronto (5 minutes ago):** I'm sorry I wasted my time contacting you. You sound like a very demanding and very ignorant person.

**Blacksovereign (within 1 minute):** I'm sorry you wasted my time too. Be careful about how you word your responses. All I did was give you advice in how to get a Black man to become interested in you. If you took that as ignorant then you need to rethink your membership to a site about Black Domination.

Don't Forget the Peanut Butter

**Original post: July 2012**

 

I had one of my local service subs pick up a few things from the supermarket before they began their service time. The sub asked if I needed anything more than the two items I requested and I said the majority of the grocery shopping was already done by my slave. He then asked if I had forgotten to tell my slave to pick up the extra items and I said no, he forgot.

The look of confusion on the subs face made me smile. Justin has been serving me for the past 3 weeks. Although he is married and can only serve on weekend mornings, he has incredible attention to detail. He asked how can a sub miss something so simple. And I allowed him to read the text messages I had with my slave concerning his oversight.

I wanted Justin to see the results of my training. I decided to share with the site as well for subs to see from the words of a fellow sub how real this Life is for those who choose to commit to it...

**Me:** Dave you forgot to buy me a fresh loaf of bread. And you forgot to pick up the peanut butter as well. You know damn well to make sure all items are checked and restocked in my pantry if they are out. I guess I'll have to go out and replenish those items myself since I obviously can't trust your ass to do it.

**Dave:** I'll pick up those items and drop them off when I bring the limo down to pick up those people tonight Master.

**Me:** Don't fucking bother. I'll have Justin pick them up before he comes over tomorrow morning. I see that I'll have to create a grocery inventory list for you to check off from now on.

**Dave:** Okay Sir, understood Master. I apologize for the inconvenience.

*(I never replied back)*

**--- the next day**

**Dave:** Master I realize that inconvenience is not the issue. I begged You to take me on as Your slave and to train me in Your service. My position as Your owned slave goes far beyond sub or servant. You and Your needs are desires are far more important than anything else in my life. I know that my "forgetfulness" has been a continuing problem that cannot be tolerated. You should not have to use Your valuable time for mundane tasks like making grocery lists for a slave who knows better. I regret my ineptitude and disrespect towards You, Master.

**Me:** The guilt is worse than any punishment, isn't it? I'm glad you understand the consequences of your actions.

**Dave:** Yes, Sir! Thank You so much for responding Sir! I couldn't sleep last night when You didn't reply back. I can't stand when you are upset with me, Master. I know that forgetting those items was a small thing but You have taught me that serving is more than just following orders. It is submitting my will completely to Yours and putting Your wants first. This is not an excuse but I have been dealing with the basement remodel and it took away from my focus when I was performing my weekly chores. It will not happen again. That is my promise to You, Sir.

After reading the texts, Justin got down on his knees in front of me and said "Sir, I am so grateful for the opportunity to serve you. I will endeavor to never give you a reason to ignore me or dismiss me. I only ask that you forgive my imperfections in advance. I will treat each encounter as a blessing and make sure that you know how much serving you means to me."

It's times like these that make all the work I put into developing and searching for the right subs worth it. You either want to serve and do it right the first time or you don't. It really is that simple. Even a sub who has only known me for 3 weeks was able to figure that out.

**UPDATE: 11/23/12**
I was asked recently if Justin still serves me and the answer is no. He was partnered and although I worked with him on scheduling, he could no longer adhere to our agreed upon service time due to issues with the partner who was an abusive alcoholic. He was told to get rid of that toxic relationship but since there are children involved; although they are grown, he still felt trapped financially. Horrible place to be when you finally discover who you truly are... and realize you are not free to indulge in satisfying that part of yourself.

Oh well... on to the next.

Re: Service

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Comments made on my Poll Site

[polldaddy poll="6495581"]


This morning, I happened to click on the link to my poll to see what the latest tallies were and read the following comments...

**deeplydisturbedbythissite- 2 weeks ago**

*Generations of black people have been enslaved, murdered, tortured and raped. Yet many Dom's on this site seem to think all this suffering means that they can use white guys to get there end away and do house chores. It is deeply disrespectful to all the good people who suffered and died. You people should be ashamed.*

**deeplydisturbedthatyoucare- 6 days ago**

*deeplydisturbedbythissite needs to catch a clue that everybody who joins the site joined because they wanted to and identify with a like interest. Don't even think you can speak for the Black Men who choose to use white men who also CHOOSE to be used. Quite a difference from what our ancestors did to Their ancestors. As my Black Master says when I say something stupid... BITCH! SHUT THE FUCK UP!*

Whomever "deeplydisturbedthatyoucare" is, I thank you for taking the words right out of my mouth in response to that self righteous ass who couldn't exercise his right to leave the site and keep his opinions to himself. As a descendant of many black relatives who were lynched, killed and countless other atrocities, no white man can EVER speak for what Black people endured. If you don't "get it" then you never will. All you can do is give in to what you feel is right... and if that is serving the Black man, then serve. If not, then you need to work that shit out for yourself.

True freedom is attained when you can give in to who you are. If you identify with being a slave to the needs and desires of the Black race, then you have found your own salvation. To those who already do serve, doesn't it just feel right? Of course, it does. Because you are no longer lying to yourself.

You have found your own truth. Something no religion or man could even find for you.

Knowing Your Role

**ORIGINAL POST: MAY 2012**

We all know there are hundreds, even thousands of people out there seeking to serve a Black Dominant.

We also know that the number of Black Dominants (who are in this for other reasons than just role playing or sex) who are even present and available ONLINE are probably less than a hundred (an estimation based on surveys done on the most commonly used sites available).

What does that mean to the submissive that is genuinely seeking to serve (for reasons other than just sex)? Simple, it's a Dominant's market. We have our pick of subs to choose from so you have to STEP IT UP if you want to get the attention of the Black Dominant you are interested in.

Over the years, I have seen subs casually throw themselves out there and then wonder why nothing happens. What you don't know is that less and less Black Dominants are even interested in the "hassle" of training a submissive.

Submissives, here is most valuable advice you'll ever receive.... Always think "what can I offer Him?" or "What do I have to offer that He would find of value?" These are the type of questions We are seeking from you.

Serving, in my opinion, is the easiest damn job on the planet. You just do as you're told. It's the Dominant who has to take on the responsibility of ruling another human being and molding them to our satisfaction. If anyone has ever owned their own business, then you know the pain of dealing with clashing personalities. This Lifestyle is the same way. A lot of work goes into molding a submissive into what We want them to be. Give Us the respect We deserve and you'll be rewarded for your efforts.

I, for one, will not waste my time on someone who acts like I should thank the heavens that they are interested. I weed through garbage every day and occasionally find a gem amongst the lumps of worthless rocks... but not often.

Reality check... most Black Dominants are busy with their own lives. We want a sub who understand this and works to find a way to fit into our lives. Some of Us want full time slaves. Others just want a nice ass and mouth to fuck. And then there are those who prefer a part time situation where Domination and submission happens when a hookup is scheduled.

My challenge to all the submissives out there is make a better effort to knowing your role.

What does that mean? Let me break it down for you.

Your role is what you are willing to offer to a Black Dominant. This is something that should be offered up front where a Dominant has no question as to what your intentions are.

**Here are some examples of roles that subs can offer:**

1. Full or part time sex toy: this position serves the purpose of needing to offer ones body for a Black Dominants pleasure. The sub satisfies his needs by knowing he was responsible for his Dominant enjoying his sexual services. The expectation is sex only Domination.

**GOAL: To be used by a Black Man**

2. Full or part time servant: this position serves the purpose of offering ones full service to a Dominant. This includes both sexual and domestic. This always starts out as scheduled visits with the possibility of an upgrade to live-in status (depends entirely on what the Dominant wants). The expectation is overall service. Perfect for subs who only feel complete when they are fully utilized by a Black Dominant. The term "slave" should only be used once you have willingly given complete control over yourself to your Master. Not an easy goal as it requires alot of trust. That means trusting both yourself and your chosen Dominant (and vice versa).

**GOAL: To be owned by a Black Man**

3. Novice/First Timer: We all know you have to start somewhere and those who have only dreamed of what it would be like to serve or service a Black Dominant should approach Us as such. Be up front and honest about your inexperience and seek guidance, advice or friendship with a Black Dominant. You get what you put into it. Who knows, that Dominant may become your first time experience.

**GOAL: To be talked into submitting by a Black man.**

Lastly, there is the self-proclaimed submissive who is not a submissive at all. he is simply someone who fantasizes about being dominated but is too scared to take the next step. he stays in his comfort zone seeking pictures and videos of his sexual fantasies. he may even attempt to get a Black Dominant to cam or chat with him yet has no interest beyond that. Sadly, this is the most common type of role and the main reason We as Dominants get fed up with them wasting our time.

This only hurts real submissives who actually want the chance to serve. But there is a way for you to prove you are serious in your chosen role... COMMUNICATE! And to be specific... stop with the "hi" or "you are hot" emails and fucking talk about yourself! You have a very small window to make a first impression. To be taken seriously. Squander that and you lose Our interest.

*Know your role... know who you are before you seek to know someone else.*
**ADDENDUM POST: MAY 2013**

It's been a year since I posted "BS101: Knowing Your Role". I had joined a site called BMR only a week or so prior to posting it in May of 2012. My decision to create it was inspired by the "what are you looking for" options in the member profile for submissives.

From the various contacts I was getting, I had a feeling that most of them did not know what they were looking for. The sexually charged emails were the same as I received on other sites like Recon, Manhunt, CollarMe, Adam4Adam, etc. If I wanted a quick fuck, those other sites would serve a better purpose. So I thought about cancelling my membership. Lord knows all I needed was to be a member of yet another hookup site where "I worship BBC" is played like a broken record.

But then I received an email from a sub who approached me differently. Who had the intelligence to write more than one or two sentences telling me how much he wanted to suck or get fucked by my big black cock. I was intrigued enough to keep reading through the entire email.

The sub talked about how refreshing it was to see another real Dom on the site. That my words spoke to him. Although he lived far away, he wanted to know more about me. He had difficulty finding real Dominants who were comfortable with who they are and was on the verge of giving up altogether... until he came across my Forum posting.

We communicated back and forth for a couple weeks. I shared my blog URL with him as I had begun posting personal articles on it as well. We even chatted via Skype for videoconferencing. He was a good, respectful boy and never did anything that would be considered a waste of my time... which I appreciated greatly.

He got up the courage to ask if I was seeking a slave although he knew because of his career that he couldn't eventually relocate, so we discussed long-distance servitude. I really liked this sub. He did everything I told him to do without reservation or complaint. Even when there was an issue, he brought it to my attention immediately and we worked it out.

He more than passed my test so I decided to help him out by doing something I rarely do for subs whom I have never met in person...

Referred him to another Master who happened to live closer.

I gave my acquaintance a full rundown on my opinion of the sub and his viability as a potential new servant. It helped that our likes and dislikes were similar and the sub had a build that my friend enjoys as well. Compatibility didn't seem to be an issue so I arranged to have the two of them meet.

They hit it off just, as I expected, and the sub (as of December 2012) is now serving his new Master full time. They are both happy and are appreciative for my help in bringing them together.

Why am I sharing this? Continue reading and LEARN.

The sub "knew his role" and thus was able to convince me to spend the necessary time getting to know and trust him. And although distance was an issue for consideration of any kind of permanent ownership, I found him worthy enough to refer to another Dom.

Would I have done that for anyone else?

Hell no! Why would I? If a sub clearly doesn't know who he is or even feels comfortable in his role... why the hell would I subject another Dom to that? In this Lifestyle, half of the connections you make are through referrals. The other half is through reputation. **P**RESENTATION **I**S **E**VERYTHING. I think I have mentioned that before... in my circles, I call it the **P.I.E.** principle.

Most people enjoy a well-baked pie, right? Sweet potato pie, apple pie, pumpkin pie... at first sight or smell, you want to eat it up. However, would you still eat the pie if say... it looked half eaten (damaged)? Looked stale and moldy? Or simply was misrepresented as apple pie when in fact, it was rhubarb... and you HATE rhubarb?

I think you get my point.

We all have our favorites or preferences and seek to find the best possible matches to those preferences. That is why presentation is critically important. And that goes for how you represent yourself online.

Failure to Communicate

Reading the title, it's simple to know what the topic of this blog post is. But do you really understand what it means?

It means that once you establish meaningful contact with a Dominant that you maintain that contact to keep it from falling apart or becoming stale. If you don't think you can do that then thank the Dominant for his time, say that you are not interested and move on.

But many choose the cowards way out and just cease communications all together.

That creates a negative experience for the Dom and hampers opportunities for other subs who may be more vested in finding a Dom than you are.

We all know that it's hard to find good Doms and good subs. Unfortunately, there is no easy way to filter the bad from the good. But for those who are serious about finding a Dominant to serve...

Here are some good tips to gain our confidence:

• Be upfront about your availability and desire to remain in contact

 

• Always respond back to any emails or replies PROMPTLY... not in a few days or the following week. If you can't then APOLOGIZE for taking so long to write back

 

• If you are long distance, immediately state your intentions. If it's to eventually serve, then your next step is to see if traveling for a visit is possible or affordable. It is okay to ask for time to get to know the Dom before making that decision but in any case, COMMUNICATE this upfront.

 

• Don't just say "Hi" or "How are you doing?" on the first communication. Use COMPLETE sentences like "Hello SIR, I saw your profile and I am interested in speaking with you to learn more and to see if you would be interested in me." This creates intent and that you are serious in your inquiry.

 

• Share your contact schedule if using Instant Messaging services or chat room. Knowing when you are online or would be free to be online helps in maintaining consistent contact. The point is doing all that you can to hold our interest once you get it.

A little common sense can go a long way in meeting a Black Dom. Make your intentions known (and that you can stand behind them) and stop with the fancy word play. You want to serve then serve.

What else are you here for? ...another great question to ask yourself.

BSM Music | Just Get Even

BSM Music | The Way You're Lovin' Me

BSM Music | You Stole My Concentration

BSM Music | When The Rain Falls

BSM Music | Come With Me

BSM Music | A Better Day

Game recognize game

**Originally posted: August 2012**

A question was made about how to approach a Black man (in public) in order to show that he was available to be used.

Well, as they say "Game recognize game". And that's very true. There is no tried and true method to present yourself. Just BE yourself. If you are interested, strike up the courage to say hello and introduce yourself. If you can't then you are obviously not ready.

A Dominant can recognize when a submissive is interested. It's like in the dating world, you ALWAYS know when someone is attracted to you... unless you are not paying attention. The sub should take steps to try to get to know the Dominant therefore creating a window where true intentions can be brought to light.

Any subs I've met offline have always been that way.

Case in point, on a trip to Italy in 1997... I stayed at the hotel Le Meridien Excelsior Gallia in Milan. While waiting for my slave (at the time) to arrive, I was met by a bellboy who saw me sitting in the lounge and spoke decent English after finding out I was American.

He invited to one of the elegant reception halls for refreshments. I knew immediately that this wasn't for guests of the hotel as there was a convention going on in an adjourning hall. He kept smiling at me and asking questions. I knew almost immediately from how he was looking at me that he was submissive. So I smiled at him.

That's my invitation.  Most times, I don't show any emotion on my face.

I have to admit that the bellboy was very bold. He started complimenting me right away (then again, I did get hit on alot in broad daylight in Germany and Switzerland as well - I love how open most Europeans are) and admitted that he had a fascination with American black men. There were black men in Europe and they were mostly north Africans. Most in Italy were Ethiopian. And I have to admit, they were different. Not much personality in my opinion, more reserved... thus the appeal in American black men I suppose.

During the conversation, Gorgio (the bellboy) dropped to his knees and asked if he could show appreciation. I was a little apprehensive as we were in an empty reception hall and although he had closed the door anyone could have walked in at any time. The last thing I want is to be deported for indecent exposure or something.

But Gorgio assured me it was safe and I allowed him to take out my cock and suck on it. I had never been served in public like that before so it was hot and scary at the same time. That feeling of getting caught was overwhelming. So I stopped him and just as I had finished zipping up... the door opened.

I guess it was his manager and we were ushered out of the hall. I think he got into trouble but he said it was fine. He offered to serve me on his day off but I was only in Milan for a day and a half before heading off to Venice and Verona.

But I have always remembered that experience. It is a great example of how silent communication can work in some cases. Use your best judgement and trust your instincts.

If it doesn't feel right then don't do it... no matter how attracted you are.

This is one of those times where using the right "head" will save you from an embarrassing encounter.

 

For those who don't understand the term "Game recognize game" then watch this hilarious clip from "The Boondocks"

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